Home > Crime > Woman Charged With DUI After Drinking Vanilla Extract

Woman Charged With DUI After Drinking Vanilla Extract

July 6, 2010 at 5:52 am by Jaded

Arlington, TN - Ya know, I was going to post a story about some chick who was found passed out in a puddle of her own vomit, empty Dust-off can in hand, but I figured you guys could care less about my holiday weekend. Soooo, I decided to go with Kelly Moss instead. Look at that mugshot, would ya? She just looks so damn happy!! Then again, vanilla extract will do that to ya. The little woman was reportedly found slumped over her steering wheel in the parking lot of Arlington Middle School last Thursday. When deputies made contact, she appeared to be quite fuggered up – her speech was slurred, her thoughts fragmented. She couldn’t stand or walk without assistance. On her breath, the scent of vanilla. According to the arrest report, officers found a half finished bottle of Diet Coke and partially empty bottles of vanilla extract. The bottles of vanilla extract were labeled as 35% alcohol by volume. I’ve been wasting that shit in my baked goods this whole time?!? A receipt found in the vehicle listed two 8oz. bottles of vanilla extract, purchased the day before. Moss, 48, was booked on charges of DUI and refusing to submit to a blood alcohol test. She’s being held on a $4,000 bond. Oh, and this is her third DUI. Be back later…I got some bakin’ to do.

Tags: DUI, Tennessee

25 Comments

Comments

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malq

She won't need deodorant for at least 7 years now. When you are on your 3rd dui and drinking vanilla extract it's time to re-evaluate your partyin' skillz. Anyone know how much goes into a cake? I am thinking teaspoon or two. 16oz's….OMFG
Su Do Nim

That shit tastes NASTY! It smells great, and in teeny doses it makes other things taste good, but straight from the bottle? It's one of life's weird mysteries.
LeaveMeBe

I keep my vanilla extract in the liquor cabinet and mark the bottle same as I do the vodka, rum and tequila.
Wrjames1953

I didn't know that Vanilla Extract had that much alcohol in it. Live and learn.
Marina

But… It tastes nastly, AND it's just as, if not more, expensive than alcohol.

I DON'T UNDERSTAND.
Kevin

When I was a kid, one of my father's uncles was an alcoholic and he would drink different extracts and even aftershave when he couldn't get booze. Addiction makes people do strange and sad things.
Abroad

Hence the diet coke…….
Parrot Toes (kathybird)

I know right? When I was a teenager and I ran out of cigarettes, I emptied teabags into ciggy tubes and smoked that. Twas better than nothing.
Parrot Toes (kathybird)

BUT, people don't think you might be an alcoholic when you buy it.

It's kind of like when I was younger how I used to hate buying tampons. God forbid anyone suspected that I was a woman…….but then I grew up. Now I only go to female cashiers when I need to buy those ebil things.
Su Do Nim

Hahaha. That was one of the reasons I decided to marry my husband. He has no problem buying them for me. As he told me before we married: “I have a mom and sister, it's no big deal”. How can you not love a man with an attitude like that? LOL
arallyn

If this wasn't her 3rd DUI I'd have figured she was just an idiot who wanted vanilla coke but they didn't have any in the area. There are some nutcases who are that crazy about it.
XenMojo

Holy crap! And I got 40oz's of that schnit sitting in my cabinet right now that I got in Walmart for a quarter! lmao! Anyone fancy an extract party this weekend? C'mon over!
The_Shadow_Knows

I make my own by soaking whole vanilla beans in rum. If you add more rum every time you use some of the extract, the vanilla beans last for years.

The stuff is rank though. A little dab will definitely do ya, as they say.
Su Do Nim

Diet coke is even nastier than vanilla extract! I can't imagine that the combination would be anything but revolting.
http://justiceforcaylee.synthasite.com/ shyloh

Oh Geesh I just learned something new. Never heard of that before. HUMMM!
Jgo555

Where's the Betty Crocker wise crack?
Jgo555

If you're a girl & u get pregnant, doctors tell you to limit your vanilla extract intake. Seriously, my doc told me that & now my hubby won't let me even put a cap full when I make decaf coffee.
guillotinegirl

I will have to pass this on to my alcoholic friends who think it's funny to drink down my whole bottle of mouthwash every time they come visit cuz I don't keep liquor in my house.
Shawnhunley

In all the years that I have been a fan of Vanilla Coke, I have never been fortunate to get a buzz off the drink. I now see that it's in the ratio. I part Coke + 2 16.oz extract. Why fuck up that cocktail by making it a DIET COKE? Wouldn't it be cheaper to buy some beer than buy true vanilla extract? Those tiny bottles of the real stuff are expensive. Maybe she got the generic kind.
ADC-82

Umm…Extract…..
Jgo555

Has no one noticed how awesome her mugshot is?! Like she's having the time of her life.
Ajax151

Anyone over 21 who deliberately drinks vanilla extract to get drunk is obviously an alcoholic. And this “woman” was 48! Must have forgotten her ID when she went shopping (facepalm).
Angie Bush82

omg….i didnt know this…….i heard crazy shit about ppl drinking mouth wash and shit but i would have never thought…..interesting!!!!!!!