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Geno

New Member
Hello Everyone,

My best friend was killed in an auto accident in December of 2014. It was obviously a crushing blow and a very tragic event to experience. Since that time things have only gotten worse. He was a young father of two baby girls. He was 24 at the time of his death. We were confused from the beginning because he was going the opposite way from his home. He had been at an informal class reunion at a local bar, so we knew that he had alcohol in his system.

The original story was that he and his wife were at the bar and the babysitter called stating that their 2 year old daughter was sick so they needed to come home. She said that when he took her home he said that he wanted to go back to spend more time with his friends. She told us that she was okay with that. Only later did we find out that they were actually fighting and she told him if he went back that he had better not come home. According to his friends he left the bar for the last time at approx 12:15-12:30. He never made it home. His wife then called his mother at 3 am and said that he hadn't made it home. The wife also said that she had called another friend to try to help find him. The "friend" supposedly said to his wife, "I can't be the one to find his body". It wasn't until 5 am that his wife called his mother again and asked if she could come and sit with the children so that she was able to go search for him. So she left the house around 5:30 to search for him, but didn't return back to the house until 8 am.

After the wife returned home, his mother left his house to return to her home. As she was driving down the road she drove past the accident site and by this time police and fire crews were on scene. He was then pronounced dead. The police theory is that he had crashed at approx 1 am and was not discovered until 8-830. So his father left the accident scene to return to his home to notify his wife of his death. Before he was able to even tell her that he had passed away, she had a friend already at her house and her mother had called Chuck's mother wanting to know what happened to him, but this was before anyone else knew, except those at the accident site.

There was no skid marks or brake marks at the accident site. It literally appeared as though he had just driven off the road with no attempts to swerve or avoid the crash. As time had been passing, the wife shed not one tear. She would make the motions as though she was grieving, but never shed one actual tear.

Ok so now some more time passes and we continue to ask his wife if she had talked to the local police or coroners office to find out the toxicology report or accident report. She stated multiple times that she called every day and nobody would return her call. I finally had had enough and I placed the call for his mother and they returned her call withing one business day.

The very important thing to know about Chuck is that he may have been a drinker, however he NEVER did drugs. When we received the toxicology report his alcohol level was high at 0.2, but he also tested positive for barbiturates. This is when we as family and friends became very suspicious. He was the type of person that did not ever take even a Tylenol or Advil. Now as a little more time passes we find out that she was cheating on him and the youngest baby is not his. And the boyfriend that she was cheating with was at the bar with them that night. His wife profited massively off of his death because the local community donated tens of thousands of dollars to her before any of this information came to light.

Now the problem is that there was never an autopsy done because they assume that he was just a young man who died because he was drunk driving. Nobody believes that he did not use drugs. We can not even get the blood tested by a private lab because she is the executor of his estate and has to sign paperwork okaying that process. She was seen with the boyfriend within 2 weeks of his death. My problem is: am I just reading too much into all of these circumstances because of my love for my friend. Or does this look suspicious to the outside world as well? And if it does how do we as people who love him go about getting local officials to believe that his accident may have not been just an accident??

Sorry this post is so long. It is a very difficult time for everyone who loves him and even more frustrating thinking that we can't get anyone to do any type of investigation due to the alcohol level that was in his system. Money is not an issue. We will pay whatever it is that we have to pay for private testing. It just seems as though the police have tunnel vision only looking at the alcohol level and do not believe us when we say he would never ever take a barbiturate. He was a frequent drinker and did have a pretty high tolerance for alcohol. And his wife even lied to the police about that saying that he never drank a drop of alcohol. Which is a complete lie. He drank quite a bit so I know he had a tolerance level built. I just need to know what step can I take to prove that somebody possibly spiked his drink. And perhaps his accident wasn't just an accident and somebody murdered my best friend. How do I get someone to listen to my pleas for help??

Please let me know any thoughts that you may have. If I am looking at this with blinders of suspicion I would like to know that too.
 
What state is this in? He should have had a full autopsy, but that depends on state.
 
Was he cremated? Could his mother petition the court to exhume him? You've never once seen him take a pill? Did he have headaches? Would he have trusted his wife to give him a pill?

How did you all find out the youngest child wasn't his? And did he know his wife was cheating? If they had fought and she said "well fuck you, I'm dicking another dude, and by the way the baby is his!" Could he have run off the road to kill himself?
 
Hello Everyone,

My best friend was killed in an auto accident in December of 2014. It was obviously a crushing blow and a very tragic event to experience. Since that time things have only gotten worse. He was a young father of two baby girls. He was 24 at the time of his death. We were confused from the beginning because he was going the opposite way from his home. He had been at an informal class reunion at a local bar, so we knew that he had alcohol in his system.

The original story was that he and his wife were at the bar and the babysitter called stating that their 2 year old daughter was sick so they needed to come home. She said that when he took her home he said that he wanted to go back to spend more time with his friends. She told us that she was okay with that. Only later did we find out that they were actually fighting and she told him if he went back that he had better not come home. According to his friends he left the bar for the last time at approx 12:15-12:30. He never made it home. His wife then called his mother at 3 am and said that he hadn't made it home. The wife also said that she had called another friend to try to help find him. The "friend" supposedly said to his wife, "I can't be the one to find his body". It wasn't until 5 am that his wife called his mother again and asked if she could come and sit with the children so that she was able to go search for him. So she left the house around 5:30 to search for him, but didn't return back to the house until 8 am.

After the wife returned home, his mother left his house to return to her home. As she was driving down the road she drove past the accident site and by this time police and fire crews were on scene. He was then pronounced dead. The police theory is that he had crashed at approx 1 am and was not discovered until 8-830. So his father left the accident scene to return to his home to notify his wife of his death. Before he was able to even tell her that he had passed away, she had a friend already at her house and her mother had called Chuck's mother wanting to know what happened to him, but this was before anyone else knew, except those at the accident site.

There was no skid marks or brake marks at the accident site. It literally appeared as though he had just driven off the road with no attempts to swerve or avoid the crash. As time had been passing, the wife shed not one tear. She would make the motions as though she was grieving, but never shed one actual tear.

Ok so now some more time passes and we continue to ask his wife if she had talked to the local police or coroners office to find out the toxicology report or accident report. She stated multiple times that she called every day and nobody would return her call. I finally had had enough and I placed the call for his mother and they returned her call withing one business day.

The very important thing to know about Chuck is that he may have been a drinker, however he NEVER did drugs. When we received the toxicology report his alcohol level was high at 0.2, but he also tested positive for barbiturates. This is when we as family and friends became very suspicious. He was the type of person that did not ever take even a Tylenol or Advil. Now as a little more time passes we find out that she was cheating on him and the youngest baby is not his. And the boyfriend that she was cheating with was at the bar with them that night. His wife profited massively off of his death because the local community donated tens of thousands of dollars to her before any of this information came to light.

Now the problem is that there was never an autopsy done because they assume that he was just a young man who died because he was drunk driving. Nobody believes that he did not use drugs. We can not even get the blood tested by a private lab because she is the executor of his estate and has to sign paperwork okaying that process. She was seen with the boyfriend within 2 weeks of his death. My problem is: am I just reading too much into all of these circumstances because of my love for my friend. Or does this look suspicious to the outside world as well? And if it does how do we as people who love him go about getting local officials to believe that his accident may have not been just an accident??

Sorry this post is so long. It is a very difficult time for everyone who loves him and even more frustrating thinking that we can't get anyone to do any type of investigation due to the alcohol level that was in his system. Money is not an issue. We will pay whatever it is that we have to pay for private testing. It just seems as though the police have tunnel vision only looking at the alcohol level and do not believe us when we say he would never ever take a barbiturate. He was a frequent drinker and did have a pretty high tolerance for alcohol. And his wife even lied to the police about that saying that he never drank a drop of alcohol. Which is a complete lie. He drank quite a bit so I know he had a tolerance level built. I just need to know what step can I take to prove that somebody possibly spiked his drink. And perhaps his accident wasn't just an accident and somebody murdered my best friend. How do I get someone to listen to my pleas for help??

Please let me know any thoughts that you may have. If I am looking at this with blinders of suspicion I would like to know that too.
She did it she did it she did it!!! I hate lying cheating bitches especially ones that kill husband's for money. Can't the police investigate?
 
Your buddy got drunk, took a pill and crashed his car...That's it. The wife reached out to her mother in law, or sought out the support of friends BEFORE the accident was discovered makes sense...she did not know about an accident, but she knew her husband was MISSING....why shouldn't she get help ? More she didn't call the police because she knew her husband had been drinking and you only call the police on your husband for drinking and driving when you really hate his guts and you want the police to show up and throw him into a police cruiser in front of all the neighbors, and she didn't do that. That the wife fucked other men or even had a child with someone else is none of your business...How do you know Chuck didn't like to sit at the end of the bed and watch his wife take a cock from every one in town except you? You're a gossip hound more than you are a detective. Poor Chuck....maybe he did drugs...maybe he liked sucking dog dick...you'll never know. Poor you....you're not that concerned, if you were, you wouldn't have put Chucks business all over the internet to be mocked...kind of like I'm doing now...Leave your friend alone, let him rest in peace, stop dirt-ing the mother of his children. Fucking widow and single parent and having to deal with pieces of shit like you. Chuck wasn't a saint and you' and me we're even less than that, so get over it. Seriously let this go, Signed some one who don't even know ya!
 
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She did it she did it she did it!!! I hate lying cheating bitches especially ones that kill husband's for money. Can't the police investigate?

Can't his guy get some grief counseling and honor his friends children by not trashing their mother on the internet?
 
@lithiumgirl commented:

How do you know Chuck didn't like to sit at the end of the bed and watch his wife take a cock from every one in town except you? You're a gossip hound more than you are a detective. Poor Chuck

Along with the rest of the tone, just wow. (?) Why so harsh, sarcastic and personally insulting almost to the point of bullying with a brand new member no one even knows yet who took the time to sign up to ask a question he was concerned about and ask for sincere advice on, LG?

I'd never ask or expect you as semi-regular to be welcoming or "nice" (or anyone else for that matter), but the guy's brand new and a lot of us enjoy having new members stick around to beef up the membership and add new voices and opinions to the forums, especially when they *don't* jump in acting like trolls and assholes. He didn't attack you, he doesn't have to answer to you and he doesn't owe you anything so why not just give him your opinion without all the venom? :confused: I don't think when he said this about his best friend's death:

Please let me know any thoughts that you may have. If I am looking at this with blinders of suspicion I would like to know that too.

That this kind of attack was what he had in mind::
More she didn't call the police because she knew her husband had been drinking and you only call the police on your husband for drinking and driving when you really hate his guts and you want the police to show up and throw him into a police cruiser in front of all the neighbors, and she didn't do that. That the wife fucked other men or even had a child with someone else is none of your business...How do you know Chuck didn't like to sit at the end of the bed and watch his wife take a cock from every one in town except you? You're a gossip hound more than you are a detective. Poor Chuck....maybe he did drugs...maybe he liked sucking dog dick...you'll never know. Poor you....you're not that concerned, if you were, you wouldn't have put Chucks business all over the internet to be mocked...kind of like I'm doing now...stop dirt-ing the mother of his children. Fucking widow and single parent and having to deal with pieces of shit like you. Chuck wasn't a saint and you' and me we're even less than that, so get over it. Seriously let this go, Signed some one who don't even know ya!
Peace.

@Geno -I'm sorry for the loss of your best friend. Please don't let the immediate hostility of one turn you off the whole site. It's a great place to hang and there are a LOT of great people here and lots of great opinions and POVs that are appreciated and don't have any other agenda than engaging other members in a good discussion/exchange of ideas. It can get spirited from time to time, but I feel pretty safe in saying you're welcome here by 99.9% of the regulars. And normally, people are at least allowed to get their foot in the door before they get skinned alive. :shrug:
 
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Your buddy got drunk, took a pill and crashed his car...That's it. The wife reached out to her mother in law, or sought out the support of friends BEFORE the accident was discovered makes sense...she did not know about an accident, but she knew her husband was MISSING....why shouldn't she get help ? More she didn't call the police because she knew her husband had been drinking and you only call the police on your husband for drinking and driving when you really hate his guts and you want the police to show up and throw him into a police cruiser in front of all the neighbors, and she didn't do that. That the wife fucked other men or even had a child with someone else is none of your business...How do you know Chuck didn't like to sit at the end of the bed and watch his wife take a cock from every one in town except you? You're a gossip hound more than you are a detective. Poor Chuck....maybe he did drugs...maybe he liked sucking dog dick...you'll never know. Poor you....you're not that concerned, if you were, you wouldn't have put Chucks business all over the internet to be mocked...kind of like I'm doing now...Leave your friend alone, let him rest in peace, stop dirt-ing the mother of his children. Fucking widow and single parent and having to deal with pieces of shit like you. Chuck wasn't a saint and you' and me we're even less than that, so get over it. Seriously let this go, Signed some one who don't even know ya!

Slowly put the bottle down, it's time to stop drinking ..

Piss-tank
smilie_trink_108.gif
 
@Geno: I'm sorry about the death of your best friend. And so young too, it must be devastating.

I don't think you're just blinded by suspicion. If there really were no skid marks or break marks at the scene, then I would also push for a better investigation by police. And a full autopsy too. Her blocking his family from getting a blood test by a private lab is disgusting, and it does cast suspicion on her imo.
But on the basis of this info, she could have spiked his drink, or had it spiked, but she could also just be a really terrible person - but not a murderer.

However, I think you are right to question what happened and to push for more answers, if anything to help his family and friends be able to grieve.
 
I apologize for the ferocity with which some folks chose to phrase their replies. Totally rude and unnecessary.

That said, I do have a question/concern:
What do y'all hope to gain by having either an autopsy or private blood testing completed? If I understand your explanation correctly, you feel he may have been slipped a barbiturate that was totally against character for him to have taken. The presence of the drug in his system is not in dispute, since this was already confirmed via the toxicology report, yes?

If that's correct, I don't see how paying for more testing will gain you any additional insight into your investigation - it's only going to confirm the presence of a drug, not whether it was consumed knowingly/willingly.

And I don't know how test results like what you are requesting could demonstrate that he had a higher than usual established tolerance for alcohol, either.

Please don't think that I'm discouraging your efforts at all... I'm just trying to understand the goals and whether they can be achieved in the ways you're attempting to do so.

No matter what happens, I wish you all the best. I know this must be extremely hard for you, and I too would have a million questions and concerns if I lost my bestie in circumstances like the ones you've described to us here. :(
 
Geno, I seriously think that this was a suicide and that you're reading too much into it. When my friend killed himself, we all had our own ideas of how his wife drove him to do it, and she wasn't being truthful with us; it was a very difficult time. Unexpected deaths bring many unanswered questions and rampant speculation tends to get out of control. I'm sorry for your loss.
 
I apologize for the ferocity with which some folks chose to phrase their replies. Totally rude and unnecessary.

That said, I do have a question/concern:
What do y'all hope to gain by having either an autopsy or private blood testing completed? If I understand your explanation correctly, you feel he may have been slipped a barbiturate that was totally against character for him to have taken. The presence of the drug in his system is not in dispute, since this was already confirmed via the toxicology report, yes?

If that's correct, I don't see how paying for more testing will gain you any additional insight into your investigation - it's only going to confirm the presence of a drug, not whether it was consumed knowingly/willingly.

And I don't know how test results like what you are requesting could demonstrate that he had a higher than usual established tolerance for alcohol, either.

Please don't think that I'm discouraging your efforts at all... I'm just trying to understand the goals and whether they can be achieved in the ways you're attempting to do so.

No matter what happens, I wish you all the best. I know this must be extremely hard for you, and I too would have a million questions and concerns if I lost my bestie in circumstances like the ones you've described to us here. :(

Don't you fucking dare apologize for me....Its bullshit....I'm not sorry.
 
Geno, I can see how his death brings so many horrible questions to face. But for everything that you wrote, there is nothing unanswered in his circumstances I can see that would strongly suggest murder. You were very close to this young man and because of this, it is natural for those who loved him to try and see more meaning behind his death than what is actually there.

The toxicology report showed he tested positive for barbiturates. Did it show high barbiturate levels or did he just test positive? Those have different meanings as barbiturates can stay in the bloodstream at detectable levels for several days post-administration but he would not be intoxicated on them at the time of his death.

He may not be the type of man to take drugs, but he was going through a rough patch in his marriage (by what you wrote). This gives me a reason to believe he might have turned to prescription drugs to deal with insomnia brought on by emotional stress. Barbiturates are often taken to induce sleep. 24 hours later and on the night of his death, they would still be detectable in his blood stream. You can say you know your friend to the point that he'd never do drugs, but it wasn't until after his death you discovered the seriousness of his marital issues. It stands to reason that if you didn't know about his troubles, you couldn't reasonably know he would need help dealing with its effects.

I'm not going to go too much into why his wife didn't cry or behaved in her manner. People respond in all sorts of ways that seem inappropriate to others who expect loved ones to show the proper display of grief. If they were having problems like you wrote, she could be feeling guilty over her emotional ambivalence (which you might read as "guilt", but the why is not what you think). Or she was too numb from the shock to feel anything.

What I think: I think he was very intoxicated (0.2) and taking into consideration the late hour, he fell asleep at the wheel. That's why he drove straight off the road w/out braking. Sorry. :(:oops:
 
@Geno , you're an amazing friend to Chuck and I hope that the fervor that you have surrounding the circumstances of his death that you channel that to his children to be there for them so regardless of the turns in their lives they will always remember their Dad. DNA aside, if he was raising the youngest as his own then he was a real man who IS that child's father.

Much of what you said raised suspicions with me as well but more along the lines of what BB said. Your friend didn't use drugs, your friend who you knew but you said that after his death the behavior of his wife came out. You didn't know that part about your friend until after his death, he quite possibly knew long before you did and barbiturates are an amazing downer and will undoubtedly numb any emotional pain a person has. People who use drugs tend to be able to hide their use until they are fall-down addicts. If your friend was truly using then it sounds like he was self-medicating more than he had a serious or even mentionable drug problem.

I don't dismiss your theory of foul play but at the same time I find it equally probable that after a fight at the bar with his wife he went back, drank more and took a pill. Possible someone offered him a drug to "feel better", maybe it was his first time trying drugs. Mixing alcohol and barbiturates is deadly even without driving as both are depressants but put someone behind the wheel who has both in their system with no tolerance and sadly, tragic accidents do happen.

I think only a full and proper investigation will bring out the truth and full story that everyone involved needs to hear. I'm very sorry for your loss and I do hope that you all get the answers that you need to heal. But I think that if you are going to press for that then you need to be certain that you are ready to hear that his death was a tragic accident or even a suicide because it could be either of those as easily as foul play could have been involved.
 
Honestly..... Let it go <3 Don't torture yourself about things you will never be able to change.
... and things you will always wonder about.

.... I've been there, dude ... I'm actually here now :( and I've let it be....
 
The original story was that he and his wife were at the bar and the babysitter called stating that their 2 year old daughter was sick so they needed to come home. She said that when he took her home he said that he wanted to go back to spend more time with his friends. She told us that she was okay with that.

* Geno, You friends wife is a stand up lady....The baby sitter called and she left the bar and went home.....We never read about ladies like that here...nope! we read about ladies who murder their kids, stick them in microwaves and shit, moms that leave their kids alone in the house and your friends wife didn't do that either, she called Grandma. I'm getting slack here for my tone and delivery and I would apologize for that, but you asked for HONEST Opinion, so I can't really. Sometimes the stuff you don't want to hear is exactly what you need to hear. It might not be nice and it might not be pretty , but its what we need sometimes.
 
But would you word it the way she did?

No and neither would you...because you don't have the intellect or the courage...(true) yYou came out of the gate screaming...She did it, she did it, she did it!...Because you're a fucking retard. Of all the piece of shit moms we read about here, you ride the one that leaves the bar to go home to her sick child...In the spirit of Red Foreman.....Dumb ass!
 
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And the Crazy Train has pulled into the Dreamin' Demon Station...

@Geno , there is an ignore feature on this site that you may choose to employ for certain members. We're really not all that bad, we're opinionated, outspoken and can be very judgmental as far as criminals are involved, so please don't judge us by our craziest representative.
 

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