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Police: Woman Threatens To Kill Child She Believes Is The Antichrist

February 10, 2012 at 1:46 pm by  

Police: Woman Threatens To Kill Child She Believes Is The AntichristLakeway, TX – An arrest warrant has been issued for a 46-year-old woman accused of entering a neighbor’s home last month ”with the intent of committing capital murder.” Her intended target – the Antichrist and his parents.

According to police, on the afternoon of January 27, Beth Ann Straley walked into her neighbor’s home through an unlocked door and confronted the family’s 37-year-old babysitter. She then reportedly whipped out a loaded .38 and ordered the sitter to find the Antichrist’s incubator.

The sitter, an apparent badass, not only failed to disclose the whereabouts of the evil one and his makers, but also disarmed Straley with very little fuss.

Mission unaccomplished, Straley then fled to another neighbor’s house, a home that belongs to a former Lakeway police chief, and reportedly admitted to those inside that her intent was to kill the man and woman of the home and their 5-year-old son…the Antichrist.

Straley was not in custody as of Thursday, but the arrest warrant sets bail at $500,000. She was apparently evaluated by a mental health deputy on the day of the incident. No word on her test scores.

Residents of the gated community are stunned, I tell ya. STUNNED. They claim Straley is a “nice” lady who often cared for children in her home. They also claim the family she allegedly threatened to put holes in were long-time friends of hers.

And the Antichrist lives on…..

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59 Comments

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    • HotReadingMama

      Wouldn’t it be nuts if she was right?

    • Anonymous

      I guess the crazy people bus left Florida and stopped in Texas and let this one off.

    • Andy P

      So this lady flees to the next door neighbor to tell on herself after she was disarmed?  Did I read that right?

    • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_XKMAEMPVJ5T2Y35HKYTNG7I6SY Cedric

      Well in the suspects defense in the movie The Omen it was awfully hard to kill that little sucker – damned near all the Demons in Hell were protecting him – once he gets older he will have his own powers to protect him … The original 1976 Omen movie was really good.

    • HotReadingMama

      It’s all for you!

    • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_XKMAEMPVJ5T2Y35HKYTNG7I6SY Cedric

      I can’t help but wonder was the kid’s name Damien by any chance ?

    • http://www.dreamindemon.com Jaded

      Yes. It’s not like she’s crazy or anything….

    • http://twitter.com/AngelsMom0806 Angels Mom

      Great write-up Jaded! I was cracking up at ” the Antichrist’s incubator” and “his makers”.

    • Anonymous

      I’d be checking that kid head to toe for 666.  just saying…….

    • Anonymous

      “They claim Straley is a “nice” lady who often cared for children in her home.”  Ahhhh, the obligatory “nice neighbor” accolades. Well, as someone on here once said… gated communities are to keep the crazies in, not out.

    • LeaveMeBe

      Great. Just great. I hate moving. I especially hate moving long distances that require more that a couple of 16 foot flat bed trailers and trucks. *sigh* But since the Antichrist and his parents live just a few short miles down the road, I better get packing.
       
      The last place I expected the Antichrist to show up was central Texas. Anybody from far far away got a couple of rooms for rent?

    • http://www.dreamindemon.com Jaded

      You’re safe, LMB…the real Antichrist lives in my home. She’s here now, listening to some really shitty screamo crap in the next room….

    • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_XKMAEMPVJ5T2Y35HKYTNG7I6SY Cedric

      LOL. Then the Bitch jumped off the roof and hung herself.What a Birthday party … cake,balloons, and a Nanny hanging … growing up I only had 1birthday party – and it was a really small cake …no balloons … no Nanny off the roof … I feel cheated …

    • Texas Ranger

      Yeah… Why would the antichrist live in “Heaven on Earth”? Cleveland maybe, but never Central Texas.

    • Anonymous

      Yes it was a great movie for it’s time. I saw it in the theater.

    • Anonymous

      I wonder if her neighbors will still let her baby sit.

    • Anonymous

      I always have that horror movie moment too. Years from now when I’m being sodomized by a giant red demon I’ll wonder why we didn’t listen to that sweet old lady.

    • Anonymous

      Yeah, you can come stay with me… in Florida.

    • Anonymous

      Well screw you Jaded, you just took my only reason for getting knocked up. Thank you very much.

    • LeaveMeBe

      I like you DKOS, I really do, and thanks for the offer, but as long as that is where you live, I’m not even going to come for a visit. If you want to come here, Lakeway is just down the road, maybe I could hook you up with the suspected Antichrist’s dad for a little baby making romp. I mean, if the Antichrist is to be born anywhere in the good ole US of A, I would expect it to be Florida.

    • http://twitter.com/AngelsMom0806 Angels Mom

      I’ll come to FL. It can’t be that bad, I mean, I from Detroit after all. ;-)

    • Andy P

      Touche Jaded.  Touche.  

    • Anonymous

      I appreciate the offer, but Texas scares me and I don’t want to have to wear Cowboy Boots.

    • Anonymous

      See, you have a sense of adventure. I gotta say that some great ruin porn comes from Detroit.

    • LeaveMeBe

      Chicken. Since you live in Florida, I just assumed you were fearless since I know you’re not stupid. ;)

    • http://www.dreamindemon.com Jaded

      Helloooo, tax deduction! Geez.

    • Anonymous

      I guess, but I so wanted a little evil child to call my own and throw in the dryer.

    • Anonymous

      Ha. My last name isn’t McFly so that won’t work on me.

    • Athena

      What?!?  A Texan who doesn’t believe Obama is the Antichrist?  I call bullshit.  Jaded’s dipped into fiction and just wanted to see who would notice.  Where’s my cookie?

    • Anonymous

       Name her Cybil and you can write off all the different personalities. Beats having several children to feed and cloth.

    • Breadstix

      Holy Fucking Shit.  I live right up the street from there…good thing I don’t have any antichrist kids around…
       

    • Anonymous

      Thank God Nanny Ashtoreth was there!

    • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_YNI5RQEBPVZAO34MRQJZPGUGKI Vicki

      I’m not from Detroit but I grew up a few miles north of it (like 3 miles) and now live 45 minutes north.  Detroit isn’t that bad.   Okay maybe it is that bad in Detroit but the surrounding areas aren’t so aweful.  Then again with the number of abuse cases in Michigan it’s suprising we don’t have a reputation similar to Florida.  

       I’ve lived in 2 other states and by comparison Detroit isn’t too bad.    I actually lived in Florida (Milton which is near Pensacola) and I live in East County San Diego (Lakeside)    Lakeside was a creepy place.  Kind of isolated in areas.  During the 3 years I lived there I know of at least 2 bodies found in the hills across from my housing.    That area was also where the looney’s who took Elizabeth Smart were camping out at one point (I believe if memory serves right they were found not too far from there near El Capitian)     Honestly though both those places were redneck white trash Heaven (sorry if you live there but that’s my opinion)  Funny in both locations I lived in base housing.  I wonder if they do that on purpose.

    • Anonymous

      Well I’m glad I live in Canada. The Antichrist is clearly my children after 7pm comes by & they are awake running around, screaming their heads off while puking in my carpet & spatzing out with jelly legs when I try to “baptize” their teeth with toothpaste & a brush.

    • Anonymous

      “…sodomized by a giant red demon…”

      Isn’t that what we get daily by being in @Morbid:disqus ’s website!???

    • Anonymous

      I know, I hate the name Damian and I refuse to watch that even NOW; and I was born in 1983!

    • Anonymous

      Has this lady called the Westboro Baptist Church by chance?

      They’d sure love to hear this woman talk & open their arms to her.

    • http://twitter.com/AngelsMom0806 Angels Mom

      No Detroit isn’t nearly as people make it out to be. The schools are freaking horrible though. I just crack the jokes and roll with it. 

    • LeaveMeBe

      This lady probably wasn’t from Texas and hadn’t been here long enough to be brainwashed by Governor Perry’s posse. :P

      Personally, I don’t believe in the Antichrist. Or Governor Perry. :)

    • http://oddlyunfocused.blogspot.com/ Eccentric_Lady

      Thanks. I just squirted Dr. Pepper out my nose from that!

      She definitely sounds cracked enough to join them.

    • Josh

      I’d call you old but I got 3 years on you….

    • Josh

      Not everyone is lucky to milk the system in their favor.

    • Josh

      Hi =)

    • Josh

      How did you end up there? just curious.

    • Josh

      Debbie does Detroit?

    • Josh

      I’ve hauled food into grocery stores there and I had to be escorted in with armed guards and police.

    • Anonymous

      You know what’s silly? I still listen to all the 90′s boybands & I’m rather ashamed of it, but comparing to what’s defined as “music” these days; boybands are great. Great melodies, good songwriting (minus all the “baby” and “girl”‘s that were added to every song) and no horrible trance/house/techno shit that everything has today.

    • http://twitter.com/AngelsMom0806 Angels Mom

      Show me a major city that doesn’t have horrible areas.

    • http://twitter.com/AngelsMom0806 Angels Mom

      My mother birthed me in a hospital there. ;-)

    • Josh

      What do you consider major?

    • Josh

      I like 80′s/90′s music. Youtube is great for finding music you don’t hear anymore.

    • Josh

      What are the odds…. =)

    • http://twitter.com/AngelsMom0806 Angels Mom

      You know what I mean Josh, population wise. Detroit is still considered a major city. Though I remember when it was one of the largest cities in the U.S.

    • Josh

      The largest cities in montana are probably the cleanest I’ve seen but the population of the entire state is the same or less than detroit Thats why I was asking

    • Anonymous

      I just downloaded En Vogue’s Whatta Man.

    • Anonymous

      Wouldn’t it be awesome if the deduction equaled what we spend on them?

    • Anonymous

      No ruin porn is pictures of abandoned building urban explorers take. I’m totally hooked on it.

    • LeaveMeBe

      Hi yourself =P

    • http://www.dreamindemon.com Jaded

      No shit, huh?