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Art Price Jr Loves Patio Furniture

March 28, 2008 at 11:34 pm by  

BELLEVUE – As longtime members of the site are fully aware, I have a certain relationship with furniture and, in certain situations, condone having sex with inanimate objects.

Art Price Jr. felt the same way and was observed by a neighbor, on four separate occasions, sexing up his patio table.

That’s right, the 40-year-old was observed and videotaped taking the table, turning it on its sexy side, and proceeding to use that pouty umbrella hole the way it was meant to be used.

Because he did this in broad daylight where children could see, something I don’t condone, Price is now facing felony charges. It seems as if he lived pretty close to a school and playground, and the law doesn’t look to favorably upon grown men being stark naked fucking a table where children may see.

So his four charges of public indecency, which are normally misdemeanors, were upgraded to felonies. There is also the fact that he is married with three school-aged children to consider. I sure hope that whore table was worth humiliating them.

Check out the following video where you can see the violated table.

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Comments


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  • Unamused Cat

    Woohoo… video even. =D

  • Unamused Cat

    Woohoo… video even. =D

  • Unamused Cat

    Woohoo… video even. =D

  • Unamused Cat

    Woohoo… video even. =D

  • Angel

    Well, hell, y’all – if you’re gonna have a crazy table-fucker, Bellevue seems an appropriate place for him to live!

    I wonder if any of the patio chairs got jealous, or did he service them too? I’d be kinda upset if my hubby was cheating on me – especially if it was with a piece of furniture. I mean, really, what kind of pillow talk could they actually have?
    “Ooh, baby, you’re so round, so firm, so cold. Next time you can be on top, OK?”

  • Angel

    Well, hell, y’all – if you’re gonna have a crazy table-fucker, Bellevue seems an appropriate place for him to live!

    I wonder if any of the patio chairs got jealous, or did he service them too? I’d be kinda upset if my hubby was cheating on me – especially if it was with a piece of furniture. I mean, really, what kind of pillow talk could they actually have?
    “Ooh, baby, you’re so round, so firm, so cold. Next time you can be on top, OK?”

  • Angel

    Well, hell, y’all – if you’re gonna have a crazy table-fucker, Bellevue seems an appropriate place for him to live!

    I wonder if any of the patio chairs got jealous, or did he service them too? I’d be kinda upset if my hubby was cheating on me – especially if it was with a piece of furniture. I mean, really, what kind of pillow talk could they actually have?
    “Ooh, baby, you’re so round, so firm, so cold. Next time you can be on top, OK?”

  • Angel

    Well, hell, y’all – if you’re gonna have a crazy table-fucker, Bellevue seems an appropriate place for him to live!

    I wonder if any of the patio chairs got jealous, or did he service them too? I’d be kinda upset if my hubby was cheating on me – especially if it was with a piece of furniture. I mean, really, what kind of pillow talk could they actually have?
    “Ooh, baby, you’re so round, so firm, so cold. Next time you can be on top, OK?”

  • aawweee maannnn, I thought we were going to see video of the action, LOL

    I feel soooo sorry for his kids, they are def. going to get it from their peers.

  • aawweee maannnn, I thought we were going to see video of the action, LOL

    I feel soooo sorry for his kids, they are def. going to get it from their peers.

  • aawweee maannnn, I thought we were going to see video of the action, LOL

    I feel soooo sorry for his kids, they are def. going to get it from their peers.

  • aawweee maannnn, I thought we were going to see video of the action, LOL

    I feel soooo sorry for his kids, they are def. going to get it from their peers.

  • Angel

    aawweee maannnn, I thought we were going to see video of the action, LOL

    I’ve heard if you have enough money, you can watch Morbid playing rough with that couch in the corner…….

  • Angel

    aawweee maannnn, I thought we were going to see video of the action, LOL

    I’ve heard if you have enough money, you can watch Morbid playing rough with that couch in the corner…….

  • Angel

    aawweee maannnn, I thought we were going to see video of the action, LOL

    I’ve heard if you have enough money, you can watch Morbid playing rough with that couch in the corner…….

  • Angel

    aawweee maannnn, I thought we were going to see video of the action, LOL

    I’ve heard if you have enough money, you can watch Morbid playing rough with that couch in the corner…….

  • how much do i need??? I wonder if he will do layaway???

  • how much do i need??? I wonder if he will do layaway???

  • how much do i need??? I wonder if he will do layaway???

  • how much do i need??? I wonder if he will do layaway???

  • casey17

    Dammit! I was hoping for some hawt man-on-furniture action and …….was denied!

    On a more serious note, wouldn’t thrusting it into a metal pole “chafe” somewhat? That couldn’t have been comfortable/pleasurable. Oh, what do I know, maybe he was “under the influence” of something.

    /still…..ewwwwwwwwww!

  • casey17

    Dammit! I was hoping for some hawt man-on-furniture action and …….was denied!

    On a more serious note, wouldn’t thrusting it into a metal pole “chafe” somewhat? That couldn’t have been comfortable/pleasurable. Oh, what do I know, maybe he was “under the influence” of something.

    /still…..ewwwwwwwwww!

  • casey17

    Dammit! I was hoping for some hawt man-on-furniture action and …….was denied!

    On a more serious note, wouldn’t thrusting it into a metal pole “chafe” somewhat? That couldn’t have been comfortable/pleasurable. Oh, what do I know, maybe he was “under the influence” of something.

    /still…..ewwwwwwwwww!

  • casey17

    Dammit! I was hoping for some hawt man-on-furniture action and …….was denied!

    On a more serious note, wouldn’t thrusting it into a metal pole “chafe” somewhat? That couldn’t have been comfortable/pleasurable. Oh, what do I know, maybe he was “under the influence” of something.

    /still…..ewwwwwwwwww!

  • casey17

    Dammit! I was hoping for some hawt man-on-furniture action and …….was denied!

    On a more serious note, wouldn’t thrusting it into a metal pole “chafe” somewhat? That couldn’t have been comfortable/pleasurable. Oh, what do I know, maybe he was “under the influence” of something.

    /still…..ewwwwwwwwww!

  • Lizard

    You GO, Amused Cat!

    Please, don’t look at any pictures of that poor, innocent table. That’s just indecent. Victims should remain anonymous.

  • Lizard

    You GO, Amused Cat!

    Please, don’t look at any pictures of that poor, innocent table. That’s just indecent. Victims should remain anonymous.

  • Angel

    I wonder if he will do layaway???

    Layaway, housewares, automotive, garden center……I’ve heard he’ll do it just about anywhere!

    Oops! You meant a payment plan! I thought you were talking location! Do you really need to finance a quarter? Just kidding – I bet he enjoys making his minions happy so much, that he’d give us a free show if we asked real nice-like. Oooohhhhhhh Mooooorrrrrbbiiiiiiddd………

  • Angel

    I wonder if he will do layaway???

    Layaway, housewares, automotive, garden center……I’ve heard he’ll do it just about anywhere!

    Oops! You meant a payment plan! I thought you were talking location! Do you really need to finance a quarter? Just kidding – I bet he enjoys making his minions happy so much, that he’d give us a free show if we asked real nice-like. Oooohhhhhhh Mooooorrrrrbbiiiiiiddd………

  • Angel

    I wonder if he will do layaway???

    Layaway, housewares, automotive, garden center……I’ve heard he’ll do it just about anywhere!

    Oops! You meant a payment plan! I thought you were talking location! Do you really need to finance a quarter? Just kidding – I bet he enjoys making his minions happy so much, that he’d give us a free show if we asked real nice-like. Oooohhhhhhh Mooooorrrrrbbiiiiiiddd………

  • Angel

    I wonder if he will do layaway???

    Layaway, housewares, automotive, garden center……I’ve heard he’ll do it just about anywhere!

    Oops! You meant a payment plan! I thought you were talking location! Do you really need to finance a quarter? Just kidding – I bet he enjoys making his minions happy so much, that he’d give us a free show if we asked real nice-like. Oooohhhhhhh Mooooorrrrrbbiiiiiiddd………

  • Angel

    I wonder if he will do layaway???

    Layaway, housewares, automotive, garden center……I’ve heard he’ll do it just about anywhere!

    Oops! You meant a payment plan! I thought you were talking location! Do you really need to finance a quarter? Just kidding – I bet he enjoys making his minions happy so much, that he’d give us a free show if we asked real nice-like. Oooohhhhhhh Mooooorrrrrbbiiiiiiddd………

  • Unamused Cat

    You GO, Amused Cat!

    Please, don’t look at any pictures of that poor, innocent table. That’s just indecent. Victims should remain anonymous.

    Darn, I forgot about table victim rights. lol… I really would like to see that video tho. =D

  • WryBread

    Just shows me how little I know about furniture. I’ve seen the hole in my patio table so many times and never realized it was a vagina.

  • Unamused Cat

    You GO, Amused Cat!

    Please, don’t look at any pictures of that poor, innocent table. That’s just indecent. Victims should remain anonymous.

    Darn, I forgot about table victim rights. lol… I really would like to see that video tho. =D

  • WryBread

    Just shows me how little I know about furniture. I’ve seen the hole in my patio table so many times and never realized it was a vagina.

  • WryBread

    Just shows me how little I know about furniture. I’ve seen the hole in my patio table so many times and never realized it was a vagina.

  • Unamused Cat

    You GO, Amused Cat!

    Please, don’t look at any pictures of that poor, innocent table. That’s just indecent. Victims should remain anonymous.

    Darn, I forgot about table victim rights. lol… I really would like to see that video tho. =D

  • WryBread

    Just shows me how little I know about furniture. I’ve seen the hole in my patio table so many times and never realized it was a vagina.

  • Angel

    I’ve seen the hole in my patio table so many times and never realized it was a vagina.

    LMFAO!

    But maybe it’s not…maybe our vaginas are actually patio-furniture-umbrella-holders. Nah, you’re probably right…we need to go buy that table a Massengill, Spring Flowers Scent.

  • Angel

    I’ve seen the hole in my patio table so many times and never realized it was a vagina.

    LMFAO!

    But maybe it’s not…maybe our vaginas are actually patio-furniture-umbrella-holders. Nah, you’re probably right…we need to go buy that table a Massengill, Spring Flowers Scent.

  • Angel

    I’ve seen the hole in my patio table so many times and never realized it was a vagina.

    LMFAO!

    But maybe it’s not…maybe our vaginas are actually patio-furniture-umbrella-holders. Nah, you’re probably right…we need to go buy that table a Massengill, Spring Flowers Scent.

  • Lizard

    But maybe it’s not…maybe our vaginas are actually patio-furniture-umbrella-holders. Nah, you’re probably right…we need to go buy that table a Massengill, Spring Flowers Scent.

    Oh, RIGHT, like you’ve never stood on your head in the back yard and held up an umbrella to block the sun from the head of a loved one. Liar. Gah.

  • Lizard

    But maybe it’s not…maybe our vaginas are actually patio-furniture-umbrella-holders. Nah, you’re probably right…we need to go buy that table a Massengill, Spring Flowers Scent.

    Oh, RIGHT, like you’ve never stood on your head in the back yard and held up an umbrella to block the sun from the head of a loved one. Liar. Gah.

  • Lizard

    But maybe it’s not…maybe our vaginas are actually patio-furniture-umbrella-holders. Nah, you’re probably right…we need to go buy that table a Massengill, Spring Flowers Scent.

    Oh, RIGHT, like you’ve never stood on your head in the back yard and held up an umbrella to block the sun from the head of a loved one. Liar. Gah.

  • Lizard

    But maybe it’s not…maybe our vaginas are actually patio-furniture-umbrella-holders. Nah, you’re probably right…we need to go buy that table a Massengill, Spring Flowers Scent.

    Oh, RIGHT, like you’ve never stood on your head in the back yard and held up an umbrella to block the sun from the head of a loved one. Liar. Gah.

  • Lizard

    But maybe it’s not…maybe our vaginas are actually patio-furniture-umbrella-holders. Nah, you’re probably right…we need to go buy that table a Massengill, Spring Flowers Scent.

    Oh, RIGHT, like you’ve never stood on your head in the back yard and held up an umbrella to block the sun from the head of a loved one. Liar. Gah.

  • Angel

    Oh, RIGHT, like you’ve never stood on your head in the back yard and held up an umbrella to block the sun from the head of a loved one. Liar. Gah.

    What the fuck are you? A peeping Tom? Stay the hell off of my property – Hey! Is that a video camera you have there? Give it here! Stop filming!!!!!!

  • Angel

    Oh, RIGHT, like you’ve never stood on your head in the back yard and held up an umbrella to block the sun from the head of a loved one. Liar. Gah.

    What the fuck are you? A peeping Tom? Stay the hell off of my property – Hey! Is that a video camera you have there? Give it here! Stop filming!!!!!!

  • Angel

    Oh, RIGHT, like you’ve never stood on your head in the back yard and held up an umbrella to block the sun from the head of a loved one. Liar. Gah.

    What the fuck are you? A peeping Tom? Stay the hell off of my property – Hey! Is that a video camera you have there? Give it here! Stop filming!!!!!!

  • Angel

    Oh, RIGHT, like you’ve never stood on your head in the back yard and held up an umbrella to block the sun from the head of a loved one. Liar. Gah.

    What the fuck are you? A peeping Tom? Stay the hell off of my property – Hey! Is that a video camera you have there? Give it here! Stop filming!!!!!!

  • mom of 4

    Well now that I watched the video I see why this happened. The table is all alone out there on the deck……poor thing has no chairs to love. See he was just trying to cheer up a lonely table….so thoughtful don’t you think? LMAO

  • mom of 4

    Well now that I watched the video I see why this happened. The table is all alone out there on the deck……poor thing has no chairs to love. See he was just trying to cheer up a lonely table….so thoughtful don’t you think? LMAO

  • mom of 4

    Well now that I watched the video I see why this happened. The table is all alone out there on the deck……poor thing has no chairs to love. See he was just trying to cheer up a lonely table….so thoughtful don’t you think? LMAO

  • mom of 4

    Well now that I watched the video I see why this happened. The table is all alone out there on the deck……poor thing has no chairs to love. See he was just trying to cheer up a lonely table….so thoughtful don’t you think? LMAO

  • Lizard

    What the fuck are you? A peeping Tom? Stay the hell off of my property – Hey! Is that a video camera you have there? Give it here! Stop filming!!!!!!

    I’m really sorry that it has come to this for you, because I thought the standing on the head with the umbrella was just something all meat puppets with vajayjays do, you know, like baking cookies. I will pray for you.

  • Lizard

    What the fuck are you? A peeping Tom? Stay the hell off of my property – Hey! Is that a video camera you have there? Give it here! Stop filming!!!!!!

    I’m really sorry that it has come to this for you, because I thought the standing on the head with the umbrella was just something all meat puppets with vajayjays do, you know, like baking cookies. I will pray for you.

  • Lizard

    What the fuck are you? A peeping Tom? Stay the hell off of my property – Hey! Is that a video camera you have there? Give it here! Stop filming!!!!!!

    I’m really sorry that it has come to this for you, because I thought the standing on the head with the umbrella was just something all meat puppets with vajayjays do, you know, like baking cookies. I will pray for you.

  • Lizard

    What the fuck are you? A peeping Tom? Stay the hell off of my property – Hey! Is that a video camera you have there? Give it here! Stop filming!!!!!!

    I’m really sorry that it has come to this for you, because I thought the standing on the head with the umbrella was just something all meat puppets with vajayjays do, you know, like baking cookies. I will pray for you.

  • Angel

    I’m really sorry that it has come to this for you, because I thought the standing on the head with the umbrella was just something all meat puppets with vajayjays do, you know, like baking cookies. I will pray for you.

    I’m going to the murder-suicide thread now, to borrow one of their guns. You’ll be sorry when I’m gone…….Waaaahhhhhh!

  • Angel

    I’m really sorry that it has come to this for you, because I thought the standing on the head with the umbrella was just something all meat puppets with vajayjays do, you know, like baking cookies. I will pray for you.

    I’m going to the murder-suicide thread now, to borrow one of their guns. You’ll be sorry when I’m gone…….Waaaahhhhhh!

  • Angel

    I’m really sorry that it has come to this for you, because I thought the standing on the head with the umbrella was just something all meat puppets with vajayjays do, you know, like baking cookies. I will pray for you.

    I’m going to the murder-suicide thread now, to borrow one of their guns. You’ll be sorry when I’m gone…….Waaaahhhhhh!

  • Angel

    I’m really sorry that it has come to this for you, because I thought the standing on the head with the umbrella was just something all meat puppets with vajayjays do, you know, like baking cookies. I will pray for you.

    I’m going to the murder-suicide thread now, to borrow one of their guns. You’ll be sorry when I’m gone…….Waaaahhhhhh!

  • Lizard

    I’m going to the murder-suicide thread now, to borrow one of their guns. You’ll be sorry when I’m gone…….Waaaahhhhhh!

    No, don’t! Wait, you come here and shoot me, and I’ll shoot you, and we’ll both be dead!

    YAY!

  • Lizard

    I’m going to the murder-suicide thread now, to borrow one of their guns. You’ll be sorry when I’m gone…….Waaaahhhhhh!

    No, don’t! Wait, you come here and shoot me, and I’ll shoot you, and we’ll both be dead!

    YAY!

  • Lizard

    I’m going to the murder-suicide thread now, to borrow one of their guns. You’ll be sorry when I’m gone…….Waaaahhhhhh!

    No, don’t! Wait, you come here and shoot me, and I’ll shoot you, and we’ll both be dead!

    YAY!

  • Lizard

    I’m going to the murder-suicide thread now, to borrow one of their guns. You’ll be sorry when I’m gone…….Waaaahhhhhh!

    No, don’t! Wait, you come here and shoot me, and I’ll shoot you, and we’ll both be dead!

    YAY!

  • Lizard

    I’m going to the murder-suicide thread now, to borrow one of their guns. You’ll be sorry when I’m gone…….Waaaahhhhhh!

    No, don’t! Wait, you come here and shoot me, and I’ll shoot you, and we’ll both be dead!

    YAY!

  • Angel

    YAY!

    You win! ROFLMFAO!

    P.S…… BAM!BAM!BAM!

  • Angel

    YAY!

    You win! ROFLMFAO!

    P.S…… BAM!BAM!BAM!

  • Angel

    YAY!

    You win! ROFLMFAO!

    P.S…… BAM!BAM!BAM!

  • Angel

    YAY!

    You win! ROFLMFAO!

    P.S…… BAM!BAM!BAM!

  • Angel

    YAY!

    You win! ROFLMFAO!

    P.S…… BAM!BAM!BAM!

  • WryBread

    But maybe it’s not…maybe our vaginas are actually patio-furniture-umbrella-holders. blockquote>

    This is something to consider. I wonder Martha Stewart or Oprah has commented on this subject.

    Sung to the tune of “My beautiful Balloon.”

    “Up, up, and away!
    With a bumbershoot
    In my vajayjay!”

  • WryBread

    But maybe it’s not…maybe our vaginas are actually patio-furniture-umbrella-holders. blockquote>

    This is something to consider. I wonder Martha Stewart or Oprah has commented on this subject.

    Sung to the tune of “My beautiful Balloon.”

    “Up, up, and away!
    With a bumbershoot
    In my vajayjay!”

  • WryBread

    But maybe it’s not…maybe our vaginas are actually patio-furniture-umbrella-holders. blockquote>

    This is something to consider. I wonder Martha Stewart or Oprah has commented on this subject.

    Sung to the tune of “My beautiful Balloon.”

    “Up, up, and away!
    With a bumbershoot
    In my vajayjay!”

  • WryBread

    But maybe it’s not…maybe our vaginas are actually patio-furniture-umbrella-holders. blockquote>

    This is something to consider. I wonder Martha Stewart or Oprah has commented on this subject.

    Sung to the tune of “My beautiful Balloon.”

    “Up, up, and away!
    With a bumbershoot
    In my vajayjay!”

  • Angel

    “Up, up, and away!
    With a bumbershoot
    In my vajayjay!”

    I do love music……

  • Angel

    “Up, up, and away!
    With a bumbershoot
    In my vajayjay!”

    I do love music……

  • Angel

    “Up, up, and away!
    With a bumbershoot
    In my vajayjay!”

    I do love music……

  • Angel

    “Up, up, and away!
    With a bumbershoot
    In my vajayjay!”

    I do love music……

  • Angel

    “Up, up, and away!
    With a bumbershoot
    In my vajayjay!”

    I do love music……

  • Wonder

    But maybe it’s not…maybe our vaginas are actually patio-furniture-umbrella-holders. Nah, you’re probably right…we need to go buy that table a Massengill, Spring Flowers Scent.

    ROTFLMAO !!!

    Please, don’t look at any pictures of that poor, innocent table. That’s just indecent. Victims should remain anonymous.

    the officer says it just when u thought u seen it all …

    I hope this isnt something Art learned by example … seems he got her for the right Price …

  • Wonder

    But maybe it’s not…maybe our vaginas are actually patio-furniture-umbrella-holders. Nah, you’re probably right…we need to go buy that table a Massengill, Spring Flowers Scent.

    ROTFLMAO !!!

    Please, don’t look at any pictures of that poor, innocent table. That’s just indecent. Victims should remain anonymous.

    the officer says it just when u thought u seen it all …

    I hope this isnt something Art learned by example … seems he got her for the right Price …

  • Wonder

    But maybe it’s not…maybe our vaginas are actually patio-furniture-umbrella-holders. Nah, you’re probably right…we need to go buy that table a Massengill, Spring Flowers Scent.

    ROTFLMAO !!!

    Please, don’t look at any pictures of that poor, innocent table. That’s just indecent. Victims should remain anonymous.

    the officer says it just when u thought u seen it all …

    I hope this isnt something Art learned by example … seems he got her for the right Price …

  • Wonder

    But maybe it’s not…maybe our vaginas are actually patio-furniture-umbrella-holders. Nah, you’re probably right…we need to go buy that table a Massengill, Spring Flowers Scent.

    ROTFLMAO !!!

    Please, don’t look at any pictures of that poor, innocent table. That’s just indecent. Victims should remain anonymous.

    the officer says it just when u thought u seen it all …

    I hope this isnt something Art learned by example … seems he got her for the right Price …

  • Wonder

    But maybe it’s not…maybe our vaginas are actually patio-furniture-umbrella-holders. Nah, you’re probably right…we need to go buy that table a Massengill, Spring Flowers Scent.

    ROTFLMAO !!!

    Please, don’t look at any pictures of that poor, innocent table. That’s just indecent. Victims should remain anonymous.

    the officer says it just when u thought u seen it all …

    I hope this isnt something Art learned by example … seems he got her for the right Price …

  • ImmortalOne

    okay I am on family vacation and while on this 15 hour 1 way teip came across this post about the furniture-yay for cellphones. All I can say is ROTFLMAO and my husband agrees. wtf was the cool metal arousing? did the sit and spin appeal too him too much as a child?

  • ImmortalOne

    okay I am on family vacation and while on this 15 hour 1 way teip came across this post about the furniture-yay for cellphones. All I can say is ROTFLMAO and my husband agrees. wtf was the cool metal arousing? did the sit and spin appeal too him too much as a child?

  • ImmortalOne

    okay I am on family vacation and while on this 15 hour 1 way teip came across this post about the furniture-yay for cellphones. All I can say is ROTFLMAO and my husband agrees. wtf was the cool metal arousing? did the sit and spin appeal too him too much as a child?

  • ImmortalOne

    okay I am on family vacation and while on this 15 hour 1 way teip came across this post about the furniture-yay for cellphones. All I can say is ROTFLMAO and my husband agrees. wtf was the cool metal arousing? did the sit and spin appeal too him too much as a child?

  • ImmortalOne

    okay I am on family vacation and while on this 15 hour 1 way teip came across this post about the furniture-yay for cellphones. All I can say is ROTFLMAO and my husband agrees. wtf was the cool metal arousing? did the sit and spin appeal too him too much as a child?

  • WryBread

    For some men the world is full of holes. The world is a place of matter arranged around lovely holes. And they know that holes are for putting things in. And they know the very best thing to put into a hole. I wonder if there will be big sales of this model of patio table now that it’s seductive nature has been shown to the world. Perhaps there could be clubs in which men get together with their tables and brag about the action they’ve gotten.

  • WryBread

    For some men the world is full of holes. The world is a place of matter arranged around lovely holes. And they know that holes are for putting things in. And they know the very best thing to put into a hole. I wonder if there will be big sales of this model of patio table now that it’s seductive nature has been shown to the world. Perhaps there could be clubs in which men get together with their tables and brag about the action they’ve gotten.

  • WryBread

    For some men the world is full of holes. The world is a place of matter arranged around lovely holes. And they know that holes are for putting things in. And they know the very best thing to put into a hole. I wonder if there will be big sales of this model of patio table now that it’s seductive nature has been shown to the world. Perhaps there could be clubs in which men get together with their tables and brag about the action they’ve gotten.

  • WryBread

    For some men the world is full of holes. The world is a place of matter arranged around lovely holes. And they know that holes are for putting things in. And they know the very best thing to put into a hole. I wonder if there will be big sales of this model of patio table now that it’s seductive nature has been shown to the world. Perhaps there could be clubs in which men get together with their tables and brag about the action they’ve gotten.

  • blahblahblah

    this is actually pretty hot. i believe i may have just discovered a new fetish. **wanders off to google xxx furniture***

  • blahblahblah

    this is actually pretty hot. i believe i may have just discovered a new fetish. **wanders off to google xxx furniture***

  • Hippiepoet

    Haahahahahaa I love this fucking story. A dude busted for fucking a patio table. Too funny…..well probably not to the molested table….sorry table. I feel your pain. 😉

  • Hippiepoet

    Haahahahahaa I love this fucking story. A dude busted for fucking a patio table. Too funny…..well probably not to the molested table….sorry table. I feel your pain. 😉

  • Hippiepoet

    Haahahahahaa I love this fucking story. A dude busted for fucking a patio table. Too funny…..well probably not to the molested table….sorry table. I feel your pain. 😉

  • Hippiepoet

    Haahahahahaa I love this fucking story. A dude busted for fucking a patio table. Too funny…..well probably not to the molested table….sorry table. I feel your pain. 😉

  • FIREGIRL

    so that is how you cover the hole in the table when your umbrella blows away

  • FIREGIRL

    so that is how you cover the hole in the table when your umbrella blows away

  • FIREGIRL

    so that is how you cover the hole in the table when your umbrella blows away

  • FIREGIRL

    so that is how you cover the hole in the table when your umbrella blows away

  • FIREGIRL

    so that is how you cover the hole in the table when your umbrella blows away

  • Angel

    Art to wife:
    “What, Honey? You have a headache tonight? No, that’s OK, I’ll just go and sit on the patio to look at the stars. Maybe the moon. Hell, maybe I’ll just moon the neighbors while I service our table.”

  • Angel

    Art to wife:
    “What, Honey? You have a headache tonight? No, that’s OK, I’ll just go and sit on the patio to look at the stars. Maybe the moon. Hell, maybe I’ll just moon the neighbors while I service our table.”

  • Angel

    Art to wife:
    “What, Honey? You have a headache tonight? No, that’s OK, I’ll just go and sit on the patio to look at the stars. Maybe the moon. Hell, maybe I’ll just moon the neighbors while I service our table.”

  • Angel

    Art to wife:
    “What, Honey? You have a headache tonight? No, that’s OK, I’ll just go and sit on the patio to look at the stars. Maybe the moon. Hell, maybe I’ll just moon the neighbors while I service our table.”

  • Angel

    Art to wife:
    “What, Honey? You have a headache tonight? No, that’s OK, I’ll just go and sit on the patio to look at the stars. Maybe the moon. Hell, maybe I’ll just moon the neighbors while I service our table.”

  • mom of 4

    Art to wife:“What, Honey? You have a headache tonight? No, that’s OK, I’ll just go and sit on the patio to look at the stars. Maybe the moon. Hell, maybe I’ll just moon the neighbors while I service our table.”

    OK There is something seriously wrong with me because I keep reading about this on the front page (Thank you soooooo much Morbid) and in the forum and everytime i do it’s like the first time all over again! I laugh until I cry reading the posts and then I have to sprint to the bathroom before is piss myself!

    Kudos to the neighbor that taped the event! I will admit if that had been my neighbor I would have been calling up my friends to come on over for the repeat performances and not one of us would have had a steady hand to actually tape the encounter because we all would have been crying and tripping over each other to get to the bathroom!

    You know how we all have said we would like to take these victims for ourselves to keep them away from their molesters? I might have rescued the poor table under the cover of darkness to save it from further attacks. I just don’t think I could have ever used it to eat off of and I would never be able to traumatize it further by shoving an umbrella in the hole! Poor thing……I would get a nice potted plant and cover up it’s poor abused hole.

  • mom of 4

    Art to wife:“What, Honey? You have a headache tonight? No, that’s OK, I’ll just go and sit on the patio to look at the stars. Maybe the moon. Hell, maybe I’ll just moon the neighbors while I service our table.”

    OK There is something seriously wrong with me because I keep reading about this on the front page (Thank you soooooo much Morbid) and in the forum and everytime i do it’s like the first time all over again! I laugh until I cry reading the posts and then I have to sprint to the bathroom before is piss myself!

    Kudos to the neighbor that taped the event! I will admit if that had been my neighbor I would have been calling up my friends to come on over for the repeat performances and not one of us would have had a steady hand to actually tape the encounter because we all would have been crying and tripping over each other to get to the bathroom!

    You know how we all have said we would like to take these victims for ourselves to keep them away from their molesters? I might have rescued the poor table under the cover of darkness to save it from further attacks. I just don’t think I could have ever used it to eat off of and I would never be able to traumatize it further by shoving an umbrella in the hole! Poor thing……I would get a nice potted plant and cover up it’s poor abused hole.

  • mom of 4

    Art to wife:“What, Honey? You have a headache tonight? No, that’s OK, I’ll just go and sit on the patio to look at the stars. Maybe the moon. Hell, maybe I’ll just moon the neighbors while I service our table.”

    OK There is something seriously wrong with me because I keep reading about this on the front page (Thank you soooooo much Morbid) and in the forum and everytime i do it’s like the first time all over again! I laugh until I cry reading the posts and then I have to sprint to the bathroom before is piss myself!

    Kudos to the neighbor that taped the event! I will admit if that had been my neighbor I would have been calling up my friends to come on over for the repeat performances and not one of us would have had a steady hand to actually tape the encounter because we all would have been crying and tripping over each other to get to the bathroom!

    You know how we all have said we would like to take these victims for ourselves to keep them away from their molesters? I might have rescued the poor table under the cover of darkness to save it from further attacks. I just don’t think I could have ever used it to eat off of and I would never be able to traumatize it further by shoving an umbrella in the hole! Poor thing……I would get a nice potted plant and cover up it’s poor abused hole.

  • Unamused Cat

    Seems his first name is Arthur. Art is his nickname.

  • Unamused Cat

    Seems his first name is Arthur. Art is his nickname.

  • Unamused Cat

    Seems his first name is Arthur. Art is his nickname.

  • feisty76

    Hmmm….patio “Art”. The story and comments are just too funny! (:

  • feisty76

    Hmmm….patio “Art”. The story and comments are just too funny! (:

  • feisty76

    Hmmm….patio “Art”. The story and comments are just too funny! (:

  • Arthur’s had his round table. Literally. Ack.

  • Arthur’s had his round table. Literally. Ack.

  • Arthur’s had his round table. Literally. Ack.

  • Dasias_Proud_Mommy

    lol…this is one of the funniest things I have ever read!!!!!!!!!!
    I’m speechless….

  • Dasias_Proud_Mommy

    lol…this is one of the funniest things I have ever read!!!!!!!!!!
    I’m speechless….

  • Dasias_Proud_Mommy

    lol…this is one of the funniest things I have ever read!!!!!!!!!!
    I’m speechless….

  • nurseronda

    I wonder how he got the idea to have sex with the table, could have been something like this:
    Wife: Honey, a storm is coming would you go out and put the patio table and umbrella away so it won’t blow away.
    Art: Honey, you know I am ready for bed and sleep in my birthday suit.
    Wife: Please Honey do it for me?
    Art: Sure, just glad it is dark. I will be back in a second.
    He goes out side takes the umbrella down and puts it away. Next, since there aren’t two people to help carry the table he starts to roll it and his dick slips in the hole of the table.
    Art: Wow, that hole is tighter than my wife.
    One hour later:
    Wife: Honey did you put the patio table away?
    Art: Sure did Honey. Goodnight.
    Rolls over and he goes to sleep. Leaving his wife wondering why he isn’t trying to talk her into sex tonight.

  • nurseronda

    I wonder how he got the idea to have sex with the table, could have been something like this:
    Wife: Honey, a storm is coming would you go out and put the patio table and umbrella away so it won’t blow away.
    Art: Honey, you know I am ready for bed and sleep in my birthday suit.
    Wife: Please Honey do it for me?
    Art: Sure, just glad it is dark. I will be back in a second.
    He goes out side takes the umbrella down and puts it away. Next, since there aren’t two people to help carry the table he starts to roll it and his dick slips in the hole of the table.
    Art: Wow, that hole is tighter than my wife.
    One hour later:
    Wife: Honey did you put the patio table away?
    Art: Sure did Honey. Goodnight.
    Rolls over and he goes to sleep. Leaving his wife wondering why he isn’t trying to talk her into sex tonight.

  • nurseronda

    I wonder how he got the idea to have sex with the table, could have been something like this:
    Wife: Honey, a storm is coming would you go out and put the patio table and umbrella away so it won’t blow away.
    Art: Honey, you know I am ready for bed and sleep in my birthday suit.
    Wife: Please Honey do it for me?
    Art: Sure, just glad it is dark. I will be back in a second.
    He goes out side takes the umbrella down and puts it away. Next, since there aren’t two people to help carry the table he starts to roll it and his dick slips in the hole of the table.
    Art: Wow, that hole is tighter than my wife.
    One hour later:
    Wife: Honey did you put the patio table away?
    Art: Sure did Honey. Goodnight.
    Rolls over and he goes to sleep. Leaving his wife wondering why he isn’t trying to talk her into sex tonight.

  • nurseronda

    I wonder how he got the idea to have sex with the table, could have been something like this:
    Wife: Honey, a storm is coming would you go out and put the patio table and umbrella away so it won’t blow away.
    Art: Honey, you know I am ready for bed and sleep in my birthday suit.
    Wife: Please Honey do it for me?
    Art: Sure, just glad it is dark. I will be back in a second.
    He goes out side takes the umbrella down and puts it away. Next, since there aren’t two people to help carry the table he starts to roll it and his dick slips in the hole of the table.
    Art: Wow, that hole is tighter than my wife.
    One hour later:
    Wife: Honey did you put the patio table away?
    Art: Sure did Honey. Goodnight.
    Rolls over and he goes to sleep. Leaving his wife wondering why he isn’t trying to talk her into sex tonight.

  • nurseronda

    I wonder how he got the idea to have sex with the table, could have been something like this:
    Wife: Honey, a storm is coming would you go out and put the patio table and umbrella away so it won’t blow away.
    Art: Honey, you know I am ready for bed and sleep in my birthday suit.
    Wife: Please Honey do it for me?
    Art: Sure, just glad it is dark. I will be back in a second.
    He goes out side takes the umbrella down and puts it away. Next, since there aren’t two people to help carry the table he starts to roll it and his dick slips in the hole of the table.
    Art: Wow, that hole is tighter than my wife.
    One hour later:
    Wife: Honey did you put the patio table away?
    Art: Sure did Honey. Goodnight.
    Rolls over and he goes to sleep. Leaving his wife wondering why he isn’t trying to talk her into sex tonight.

  • WryBread

    Arthur’s had his round table. Literally. Ack.

    Imp. So funny it’s genius!

  • WryBread

    Arthur’s had his round table. Literally. Ack.

    Imp. So funny it’s genius!

  • WryBread

    Arthur’s had his round table. Literally. Ack.

    Imp. So funny it’s genius!

  • WryBread

    Arthur’s had his round table. Literally. Ack.

    Imp. So funny it’s genius!

  • WryBread

    Arthur’s had his round table. Literally. Ack.

    Imp. So funny it’s genius!

  • WryBread

    I wonder how he got the idea to have sex with the table, could have been something like this:Wife: Honey, a storm is coming would you go out and put the patio table and umbrella away so it won’t blow away.Art: Honey, you know I am ready for bed and sleep in my birthday suit.Wife: Please Honey do it for me?Art: Sure, just glad it is dark. I will be back in a second.He goes out side takes the umbrella down and puts it away. Next, since there aren’t two people to help carry the table he starts to roll it and his dick slips in the hole of the table.Art: Wow, that hole is tighter than my wife.One hour later:Wife: Honey did you put the patio table away?Art: Sure did Honey. Goodnight.Rolls over and he goes to sleep. Leaving his wife wondering why he isn’t trying to talk her into sex tonight.

    The only part you left out is where the wife smiles happily to herself!

    Here’s the version the guy told to the police:
    “I went outside to put away the umbrella. My wife asked me to do it or I would have let it stay up because I wasn’t dressed, Officer. So, yeah, you see it’s only about five steps, so, yeah, I didn’t make the best decision I admit, I decided to go out naked real quick. Then, officer, I slipped on something, maybe it was a banana peel, and I sort of flew up onto the table and my penis went right into the hole! Right into it. And it was a kind of tight fit so I had to go up and down several times — but I wasn’t fucking the table, officer, really. I was — struggling to free myself from it when the neighbors made the video.”

    Gives the officer a really innocent, owl-eyed look. Officer hands him a little black board with white letters on it that read “03-20-08” and instructs him to stand against the giant ruler.

  • WryBread

    I wonder how he got the idea to have sex with the table, could have been something like this:Wife: Honey, a storm is coming would you go out and put the patio table and umbrella away so it won’t blow away.Art: Honey, you know I am ready for bed and sleep in my birthday suit.Wife: Please Honey do it for me?Art: Sure, just glad it is dark. I will be back in a second.He goes out side takes the umbrella down and puts it away. Next, since there aren’t two people to help carry the table he starts to roll it and his dick slips in the hole of the table.Art: Wow, that hole is tighter than my wife.One hour later:Wife: Honey did you put the patio table away?Art: Sure did Honey. Goodnight.Rolls over and he goes to sleep. Leaving his wife wondering why he isn’t trying to talk her into sex tonight.

    The only part you left out is where the wife smiles happily to herself!

    Here’s the version the guy told to the police:
    “I went outside to put away the umbrella. My wife asked me to do it or I would have let it stay up because I wasn’t dressed, Officer. So, yeah, you see it’s only about five steps, so, yeah, I didn’t make the best decision I admit, I decided to go out naked real quick. Then, officer, I slipped on something, maybe it was a banana peel, and I sort of flew up onto the table and my penis went right into the hole! Right into it. And it was a kind of tight fit so I had to go up and down several times — but I wasn’t fucking the table, officer, really. I was — struggling to free myself from it when the neighbors made the video.”

    Gives the officer a really innocent, owl-eyed look. Officer hands him a little black board with white letters on it that read “03-20-08” and instructs him to stand against the giant ruler.

  • WryBread

    I wonder how he got the idea to have sex with the table, could have been something like this:Wife: Honey, a storm is coming would you go out and put the patio table and umbrella away so it won’t blow away.Art: Honey, you know I am ready for bed and sleep in my birthday suit.Wife: Please Honey do it for me?Art: Sure, just glad it is dark. I will be back in a second.He goes out side takes the umbrella down and puts it away. Next, since there aren’t two people to help carry the table he starts to roll it and his dick slips in the hole of the table.Art: Wow, that hole is tighter than my wife.One hour later:Wife: Honey did you put the patio table away?Art: Sure did Honey. Goodnight.Rolls over and he goes to sleep. Leaving his wife wondering why he isn’t trying to talk her into sex tonight.

    The only part you left out is where the wife smiles happily to herself!

    Here’s the version the guy told to the police:
    “I went outside to put away the umbrella. My wife asked me to do it or I would have let it stay up because I wasn’t dressed, Officer. So, yeah, you see it’s only about five steps, so, yeah, I didn’t make the best decision I admit, I decided to go out naked real quick. Then, officer, I slipped on something, maybe it was a banana peel, and I sort of flew up onto the table and my penis went right into the hole! Right into it. And it was a kind of tight fit so I had to go up and down several times — but I wasn’t fucking the table, officer, really. I was — struggling to free myself from it when the neighbors made the video.”

    Gives the officer a really innocent, owl-eyed look. Officer hands him a little black board with white letters on it that read “03-20-08” and instructs him to stand against the giant ruler.

  • WryBread

    I wonder how he got the idea to have sex with the table, could have been something like this:Wife: Honey, a storm is coming would you go out and put the patio table and umbrella away so it won’t blow away.Art: Honey, you know I am ready for bed and sleep in my birthday suit.Wife: Please Honey do it for me?Art: Sure, just glad it is dark. I will be back in a second.He goes out side takes the umbrella down and puts it away. Next, since there aren’t two people to help carry the table he starts to roll it and his dick slips in the hole of the table.Art: Wow, that hole is tighter than my wife.One hour later:Wife: Honey did you put the patio table away?Art: Sure did Honey. Goodnight.Rolls over and he goes to sleep. Leaving his wife wondering why he isn’t trying to talk her into sex tonight.

    The only part you left out is where the wife smiles happily to herself!

    Here’s the version the guy told to the police:
    “I went outside to put away the umbrella. My wife asked me to do it or I would have let it stay up because I wasn’t dressed, Officer. So, yeah, you see it’s only about five steps, so, yeah, I didn’t make the best decision I admit, I decided to go out naked real quick. Then, officer, I slipped on something, maybe it was a banana peel, and I sort of flew up onto the table and my penis went right into the hole! Right into it. And it was a kind of tight fit so I had to go up and down several times — but I wasn’t fucking the table, officer, really. I was — struggling to free myself from it when the neighbors made the video.”

    Gives the officer a really innocent, owl-eyed look. Officer hands him a little black board with white letters on it that read “03-20-08” and instructs him to stand against the giant ruler.

  • WryBread

    I wonder how he got the idea to have sex with the table, could have been something like this:Wife: Honey, a storm is coming would you go out and put the patio table and umbrella away so it won’t blow away.Art: Honey, you know I am ready for bed and sleep in my birthday suit.Wife: Please Honey do it for me?Art: Sure, just glad it is dark. I will be back in a second.He goes out side takes the umbrella down and puts it away. Next, since there aren’t two people to help carry the table he starts to roll it and his dick slips in the hole of the table.Art: Wow, that hole is tighter than my wife.One hour later:Wife: Honey did you put the patio table away?Art: Sure did Honey. Goodnight.Rolls over and he goes to sleep. Leaving his wife wondering why he isn’t trying to talk her into sex tonight.

    The only part you left out is where the wife smiles happily to herself!

    Here’s the version the guy told to the police:
    “I went outside to put away the umbrella. My wife asked me to do it or I would have let it stay up because I wasn’t dressed, Officer. So, yeah, you see it’s only about five steps, so, yeah, I didn’t make the best decision I admit, I decided to go out naked real quick. Then, officer, I slipped on something, maybe it was a banana peel, and I sort of flew up onto the table and my penis went right into the hole! Right into it. And it was a kind of tight fit so I had to go up and down several times — but I wasn’t fucking the table, officer, really. I was — struggling to free myself from it when the neighbors made the video.”

    Gives the officer a really innocent, owl-eyed look. Officer hands him a little black board with white letters on it that read “03-20-08” and instructs him to stand against the giant ruler.

  • Ruby

    Arthur’s had his round table. Literally. Ack.

    One of the funniest comments I have ever read, Imp. Evah.

    But seriously, is “Ol’ Table-tickler Art” really deserving of a felony record?

    Think of all the worthless kid beaters/rapers/haters who go free with so little time served. If this guy is a felon when he didn’t hurt anyone (except the poor table, of course) and did it on his own property, then our cultural priorities are way-fucked up (well, DUH, Ruby. ).

  • Ruby

    Arthur’s had his round table. Literally. Ack.

    One of the funniest comments I have ever read, Imp. Evah.

    But seriously, is “Ol’ Table-tickler Art” really deserving of a felony record?

    Think of all the worthless kid beaters/rapers/haters who go free with so little time served. If this guy is a felon when he didn’t hurt anyone (except the poor table, of course) and did it on his own property, then our cultural priorities are way-fucked up (well, DUH, Ruby. ).

  • Ruby

    Arthur’s had his round table. Literally. Ack.

    One of the funniest comments I have ever read, Imp. Evah.

    But seriously, is “Ol’ Table-tickler Art” really deserving of a felony record?

    Think of all the worthless kid beaters/rapers/haters who go free with so little time served. If this guy is a felon when he didn’t hurt anyone (except the poor table, of course) and did it on his own property, then our cultural priorities are way-fucked up (well, DUH, Ruby. ).

  • Ruby

    Arthur’s had his round table. Literally. Ack.

    One of the funniest comments I have ever read, Imp. Evah.

    But seriously, is “Ol’ Table-tickler Art” really deserving of a felony record?

    Think of all the worthless kid beaters/rapers/haters who go free with so little time served. If this guy is a felon when he didn’t hurt anyone (except the poor table, of course) and did it on his own property, then our cultural priorities are way-fucked up (well, DUH, Ruby. ).

  • Ruby

    Arthur’s had his round table. Literally. Ack.

    One of the funniest comments I have ever read, Imp. Evah.

    But seriously, is “Ol’ Table-tickler Art” really deserving of a felony record?

    Think of all the worthless kid beaters/rapers/haters who go free with so little time served. If this guy is a felon when he didn’t hurt anyone (except the poor table, of course) and did it on his own property, then our cultural priorities are way-fucked up (well, DUH, Ruby. ).

  • Miss. Hill

    Think of all the worthless kid beaters/rapers/haters who go free with so little time served. If this guy is a felon when he didn’t hurt anyone (except the poor table, of course) and did it on his own property, then our cultural priorities are way-fucked up (well, DUH, Ruby. ).

    No I don’t think it’s worth felony charges. I could careless what inanimate object he puts his penis in as long as he does it in private!

    Art and his table will probably get offered a playgirl spread.
    Then he will start a series of dvds titled Table Fucker’s Tips and Tricks!

  • Miss. Hill

    Think of all the worthless kid beaters/rapers/haters who go free with so little time served. If this guy is a felon when he didn’t hurt anyone (except the poor table, of course) and did it on his own property, then our cultural priorities are way-fucked up (well, DUH, Ruby. ).

    No I don’t think it’s worth felony charges. I could careless what inanimate object he puts his penis in as long as he does it in private!

    Art and his table will probably get offered a playgirl spread.
    Then he will start a series of dvds titled Table Fucker’s Tips and Tricks!

  • Miss. Hill

    Think of all the worthless kid beaters/rapers/haters who go free with so little time served. If this guy is a felon when he didn’t hurt anyone (except the poor table, of course) and did it on his own property, then our cultural priorities are way-fucked up (well, DUH, Ruby. ).

    No I don’t think it’s worth felony charges. I could careless what inanimate object he puts his penis in as long as he does it in private!

    Art and his table will probably get offered a playgirl spread.
    Then he will start a series of dvds titled Table Fucker’s Tips and Tricks!

  • Miss. Hill

    Think of all the worthless kid beaters/rapers/haters who go free with so little time served. If this guy is a felon when he didn’t hurt anyone (except the poor table, of course) and did it on his own property, then our cultural priorities are way-fucked up (well, DUH, Ruby. ).

    No I don’t think it’s worth felony charges. I could careless what inanimate object he puts his penis in as long as he does it in private!

    Art and his table will probably get offered a playgirl spread.
    Then he will start a series of dvds titled Table Fucker’s Tips and Tricks!

  • Miss. Hill

    Think of all the worthless kid beaters/rapers/haters who go free with so little time served. If this guy is a felon when he didn’t hurt anyone (except the poor table, of course) and did it on his own property, then our cultural priorities are way-fucked up (well, DUH, Ruby. ).

    No I don’t think it’s worth felony charges. I could careless what inanimate object he puts his penis in as long as he does it in private!

    Art and his table will probably get offered a playgirl spread.
    Then he will start a series of dvds titled Table Fucker’s Tips and Tricks!

  • nurseronda

    Damn, he must have really got jealous of the umbrella when it had to be placed in his love hole….lol

  • nurseronda

    Damn, he must have really got jealous of the umbrella when it had to be placed in his love hole….lol

  • nurseronda

    Damn, he must have really got jealous of the umbrella when it had to be placed in his love hole….lol

  • nurseronda

    Damn, he must have really got jealous of the umbrella when it had to be placed in his love hole….lol

  • nurseronda

    Damn, he must have really got jealous of the umbrella when it had to be placed in his love hole….lol

  • feisty76

    He looks like he is fantasizing about his patio furniture in his mug shot:

    “Hmmm, when I get out of here…I can’t wait to get back to my table…maybe I’ll start drilling a hole in the chair, just to make the table jealous….oooh, oh, yeah.”

  • feisty76

    He looks like he is fantasizing about his patio furniture in his mug shot:

    “Hmmm, when I get out of here…I can’t wait to get back to my table…maybe I’ll start drilling a hole in the chair, just to make the table jealous….oooh, oh, yeah.”

  • feisty76

    He looks like he is fantasizing about his patio furniture in his mug shot:

    “Hmmm, when I get out of here…I can’t wait to get back to my table…maybe I’ll start drilling a hole in the chair, just to make the table jealous….oooh, oh, yeah.”

  • feisty76

    He looks like he is fantasizing about his patio furniture in his mug shot:

    “Hmmm, when I get out of here…I can’t wait to get back to my table…maybe I’ll start drilling a hole in the chair, just to make the table jealous….oooh, oh, yeah.”

  • A leaked police report states that they found Ikea catalogs under his mattress!

  • A leaked police report states that they found Ikea catalogs under his mattress!

  • A leaked police report states that they found Ikea catalogs under his mattress!

  • Unamused Cat
  • Unamused Cat
  • Unamused Cat
  • Unamused Cat
  • nurseronda

    This is funny. http://youtube.com/watch?v=Btf2SwUa8IY

    You’re right Unamused….Lmao

  • nurseronda

    This is funny. http://youtube.com/watch?v=Btf2SwUa8IY

    You’re right Unamused….Lmao

  • nurseronda

    This is funny. http://youtube.com/watch?v=Btf2SwUa8IY

    You’re right Unamused….Lmao

  • nurseronda

    This is funny. http://youtube.com/watch?v=Btf2SwUa8IY

    You’re right Unamused….Lmao

  • nurseronda

    This is funny. http://youtube.com/watch?v=Btf2SwUa8IY

    You’re right Unamused….Lmao

  • nurseronda

    This is funny. http://youtube.com/watch?v=Btf2SwUa8IY

    You’re right Unamused….Lmao

  • Wonder

    Damn, he must have really got jealous of the umbrella when it had to be placed in his love hole….lol

    LOL

    Price lives in central Ohio maybe he thinks of hisself as a Buckeye

  • Wonder

    Damn, he must have really got jealous of the umbrella when it had to be placed in his love hole….lol

    LOL

    Price lives in central Ohio maybe he thinks of hisself as a Buckeye

  • Wonder

    Damn, he must have really got jealous of the umbrella when it had to be placed in his love hole….lol

    LOL

    Price lives in central Ohio maybe he thinks of hisself as a Buckeye

  • Wonder

    Damn, he must have really got jealous of the umbrella when it had to be placed in his love hole….lol

    LOL

    Price lives in central Ohio maybe he thinks of hisself as a Buckeye

  • Angel

    This story gives a new meaning to the phrase ‘dead fuck’, doesn’t it? You guys complain about your wives not getting into it, and this guy does his TABLE? I bet his wife probably pointed out the ceiling cracks while he was doing her! Out loud!

  • Angel

    This story gives a new meaning to the phrase ‘dead fuck’, doesn’t it? You guys complain about your wives not getting into it, and this guy does his TABLE? I bet his wife probably pointed out the ceiling cracks while he was doing her! Out loud!

  • Angel

    This story gives a new meaning to the phrase ‘dead fuck’, doesn’t it? You guys complain about your wives not getting into it, and this guy does his TABLE? I bet his wife probably pointed out the ceiling cracks while he was doing her! Out loud!

  • Angel

    This story gives a new meaning to the phrase ‘dead fuck’, doesn’t it? You guys complain about your wives not getting into it, and this guy does his TABLE? I bet his wife probably pointed out the ceiling cracks while he was doing her! Out loud!

  • Angel

    This story gives a new meaning to the phrase ‘dead fuck’, doesn’t it? You guys complain about your wives not getting into it, and this guy does his TABLE? I bet his wife probably pointed out the ceiling cracks while he was doing her! Out loud!

  • Angel

    This story gives a new meaning to the phrase ‘dead fuck’, doesn’t it? You guys complain about your wives not getting into it, and this guy does his TABLE? I bet his wife probably pointed out the ceiling cracks while he was doing her! Out loud!

  • Angel

    This story gives a new meaning to the phrase ‘dead fuck’, doesn’t it? You guys complain about your wives not getting into it, and this guy does his TABLE? I bet his wife probably pointed out the ceiling cracks while he was doing her! Out loud!

  • dammitall

    Don’t laugh. That slut temptress table will be after YOUR husbands, next!

  • dammitall

    Don’t laugh. That slut temptress table will be after YOUR husbands, next!

  • dammitall

    Don’t laugh. That slut temptress table will be after YOUR husbands, next!

  • dammitall

    Don’t laugh. That slut temptress table will be after YOUR husbands, next!

  • Angel

    Hey, y’all, sorry I haven’t been on much this weekend, but hubby is home for a couple of days, and I’ve been kinda busy perfecting my table impersonation skills. Pretending to be a picnic table takes lots of practice, y’know? 😀

  • Angel

    Hey, y’all, sorry I haven’t been on much this weekend, but hubby is home for a couple of days, and I’ve been kinda busy perfecting my table impersonation skills. Pretending to be a picnic table takes lots of practice, y’know? 😀

  • Angel

    Hey, y’all, sorry I haven’t been on much this weekend, but hubby is home for a couple of days, and I’ve been kinda busy perfecting my table impersonation skills. Pretending to be a picnic table takes lots of practice, y’know? 😀

  • bornagainpagan

    table fucking – I’m just pissed off that I never thought of it. Apparently the whore-table has been charged as an accessory, but the cops don’t think it will stand up in court (would you, after a reaming like that?)

  • bornagainpagan

    table fucking – I’m just pissed off that I never thought of it. Apparently the whore-table has been charged as an accessory, but the cops don’t think it will stand up in court (would you, after a reaming like that?)

  • bornagainpagan

    table fucking – I’m just pissed off that I never thought of it. Apparently the whore-table has been charged as an accessory, but the cops don’t think it will stand up in court (would you, after a reaming like that?)

  • bornagainpagan

    table fucking – I’m just pissed off that I never thought of it. Apparently the whore-table has been charged as an accessory, but the cops don’t think it will stand up in court (would you, after a reaming like that?)

  • bornagainpagan

    table fucking – I’m just pissed off that I never thought of it. Apparently the whore-table has been charged as an accessory, but the cops don’t think it will stand up in court (would you, after a reaming like that?)

  • WryBread

    Don’t laugh. That slut temptress table will be after YOUR husbands, next!

    Wow! That thought makes me glad I’m unmarried! I can imagine the fine table rolling into our living room, waving one slender leg in the air — and it’s got four legs! How can a mere woman compete?

  • WryBread

    Don’t laugh. That slut temptress table will be after YOUR husbands, next!

    Wow! That thought makes me glad I’m unmarried! I can imagine the fine table rolling into our living room, waving one slender leg in the air — and it’s got four legs! How can a mere woman compete?

  • WryBread

    Don’t laugh. That slut temptress table will be after YOUR husbands, next!

    Wow! That thought makes me glad I’m unmarried! I can imagine the fine table rolling into our living room, waving one slender leg in the air — and it’s got four legs! How can a mere woman compete?

  • WryBread

    Don’t laugh. That slut temptress table will be after YOUR husbands, next!

    Wow! That thought makes me glad I’m unmarried! I can imagine the fine table rolling into our living room, waving one slender leg in the air — and it’s got four legs! How can a mere woman compete?

  • WryBread

    Don’t laugh. That slut temptress table will be after YOUR husbands, next!

    Wow! That thought makes me glad I’m unmarried! I can imagine the fine table rolling into our living room, waving one slender leg in the air — and it’s got four legs! How can a mere woman compete?

  • WryBread

    Don’t laugh. That slut temptress table will be after YOUR husbands, next!

    Wow! That thought makes me glad I’m unmarried! I can imagine the fine table rolling into our living room, waving one slender leg in the air — and it’s got four legs! How can a mere woman compete?

  • WryBread

    Don’t laugh. That slut temptress table will be after YOUR husbands, next!

    Wow! That thought makes me glad I’m unmarried! I can imagine the fine table rolling into our living room, waving one slender leg in the air — and it’s got four legs! How can a mere woman compete?

  • WryBread

    And another thought, when the umbrella is in the patio table it means they are having sex. Never knew this before. I wonder what other pieces of furniture are copulating around me.

  • WryBread

    And another thought, when the umbrella is in the patio table it means they are having sex. Never knew this before. I wonder what other pieces of furniture are copulating around me.

  • WryBread

    And another thought, when the umbrella is in the patio table it means they are having sex. Never knew this before. I wonder what other pieces of furniture are copulating around me.

  • WryBread

    And another thought, when the umbrella is in the patio table it means they are having sex. Never knew this before. I wonder what other pieces of furniture are copulating around me.

  • WryBread

    And another thought, when the umbrella is in the patio table it means they are having sex. Never knew this before. I wonder what other pieces of furniture are copulating around me.

  • WryBread

    And another thought, when the umbrella is in the patio table it means they are having sex. Never knew this before. I wonder what other pieces of furniture are copulating around me.

  • WryBread

    And another thought, when the umbrella is in the patio table it means they are having sex. Never knew this before. I wonder what other pieces of furniture are copulating around me.

  • WryBread

    And another thought, when the umbrella is in the patio table it means they are having sex. Never knew this before. I wonder what other pieces of furniture are copulating around me.

  • bornagainpagan

    And another thought, when the umbrella is in the patio table it means they are having sex. Never knew this before. I wonder what other pieces of furniture are copulating around me.

    News just in: local man found heavy petting with an outdoor setting. When questioned about his bizarre fetish, he replied ‘ She’s a standup girl who’s served me for years. She’s been in the shade of her man-umbrella for too long and wanted to experience the feeling of meat that hadn’t been pre-cooked on the barbie. I showed her.’

    On a more serious note, wouldn’t thrusting it into a metal pole “chafe” somewhat? That couldn’t have been comfortable/pleasurable. Oh, what do I know, maybe he was “under the influence” of something.

    Maybe he likes to dry-fuck. As to chafing, there are any number of lubricants available. I once knew a librarian in a prison who said she would often get requests from prisoners for hard back books, didn’t matter what subject. When they were returned the binding hole would be smeared with butter and cum – yep, fucking the spine of books. Love with always find a way.

    I would suggest to him that – given the poor size of his man-jewels – that he start wearing those napkin holders as a cock ring – make that steel cunt biatch really feel it!

  • bornagainpagan

    And another thought, when the umbrella is in the patio table it means they are having sex. Never knew this before. I wonder what other pieces of furniture are copulating around me.

    News just in: local man found heavy petting with an outdoor setting. When questioned about his bizarre fetish, he replied ‘ She’s a standup girl who’s served me for years. She’s been in the shade of her man-umbrella for too long and wanted to experience the feeling of meat that hadn’t been pre-cooked on the barbie. I showed her.’

    On a more serious note, wouldn’t thrusting it into a metal pole “chafe” somewhat? That couldn’t have been comfortable/pleasurable. Oh, what do I know, maybe he was “under the influence” of something.

    Maybe he likes to dry-fuck. As to chafing, there are any number of lubricants available. I once knew a librarian in a prison who said she would often get requests from prisoners for hard back books, didn’t matter what subject. When they were returned the binding hole would be smeared with butter and cum – yep, fucking the spine of books. Love with always find a way.

    I would suggest to him that – given the poor size of his man-jewels – that he start wearing those napkin holders as a cock ring – make that steel cunt biatch really feel it!

  • bornagainpagan

    And another thought, when the umbrella is in the patio table it means they are having sex. Never knew this before. I wonder what other pieces of furniture are copulating around me.

    News just in: local man found heavy petting with an outdoor setting. When questioned about his bizarre fetish, he replied ‘ She’s a standup girl who’s served me for years. She’s been in the shade of her man-umbrella for too long and wanted to experience the feeling of meat that hadn’t been pre-cooked on the barbie. I showed her.’

    On a more serious note, wouldn’t thrusting it into a metal pole “chafe” somewhat? That couldn’t have been comfortable/pleasurable. Oh, what do I know, maybe he was “under the influence” of something.

    Maybe he likes to dry-fuck. As to chafing, there are any number of lubricants available. I once knew a librarian in a prison who said she would often get requests from prisoners for hard back books, didn’t matter what subject. When they were returned the binding hole would be smeared with butter and cum – yep, fucking the spine of books. Love with always find a way.

    I would suggest to him that – given the poor size of his man-jewels – that he start wearing those napkin holders as a cock ring – make that steel cunt biatch really feel it!

  • bornagainpagan

    And another thought, when the umbrella is in the patio table it means they are having sex. Never knew this before. I wonder what other pieces of furniture are copulating around me.

    News just in: local man found heavy petting with an outdoor setting. When questioned about his bizarre fetish, he replied ‘ She’s a standup girl who’s served me for years. She’s been in the shade of her man-umbrella for too long and wanted to experience the feeling of meat that hadn’t been pre-cooked on the barbie. I showed her.’

    On a more serious note, wouldn’t thrusting it into a metal pole “chafe” somewhat? That couldn’t have been comfortable/pleasurable. Oh, what do I know, maybe he was “under the influence” of something.

    Maybe he likes to dry-fuck. As to chafing, there are any number of lubricants available. I once knew a librarian in a prison who said she would often get requests from prisoners for hard back books, didn’t matter what subject. When they were returned the binding hole would be smeared with butter and cum – yep, fucking the spine of books. Love with always find a way.

    I would suggest to him that – given the poor size of his man-jewels – that he start wearing those napkin holders as a cock ring – make that steel cunt biatch really feel it!

  • bornagainpagan

    And another thought, when the umbrella is in the patio table it means they are having sex. Never knew this before. I wonder what other pieces of furniture are copulating around me.

    News just in: local man found heavy petting with an outdoor setting. When questioned about his bizarre fetish, he replied ‘ She’s a standup girl who’s served me for years. She’s been in the shade of her man-umbrella for too long and wanted to experience the feeling of meat that hadn’t been pre-cooked on the barbie. I showed her.’

    On a more serious note, wouldn’t thrusting it into a metal pole “chafe” somewhat? That couldn’t have been comfortable/pleasurable. Oh, what do I know, maybe he was “under the influence” of something.

    Maybe he likes to dry-fuck. As to chafing, there are any number of lubricants available. I once knew a librarian in a prison who said she would often get requests from prisoners for hard back books, didn’t matter what subject. When they were returned the binding hole would be smeared with butter and cum – yep, fucking the spine of books. Love with always find a way.

    I would suggest to him that – given the poor size of his man-jewels – that he start wearing those napkin holders as a cock ring – make that steel cunt biatch really feel it!

  • bornagainpagan

    And another thought, when the umbrella is in the patio table it means they are having sex. Never knew this before. I wonder what other pieces of furniture are copulating around me.

    News just in: local man found heavy petting with an outdoor setting. When questioned about his bizarre fetish, he replied ‘ She’s a standup girl who’s served me for years. She’s been in the shade of her man-umbrella for too long and wanted to experience the feeling of meat that hadn’t been pre-cooked on the barbie. I showed her.’

    On a more serious note, wouldn’t thrusting it into a metal pole “chafe” somewhat? That couldn’t have been comfortable/pleasurable. Oh, what do I know, maybe he was “under the influence” of something.

    Maybe he likes to dry-fuck. As to chafing, there are any number of lubricants available. I once knew a librarian in a prison who said she would often get requests from prisoners for hard back books, didn’t matter what subject. When they were returned the binding hole would be smeared with butter and cum – yep, fucking the spine of books. Love with always find a way.

    I would suggest to him that – given the poor size of his man-jewels – that he start wearing those napkin holders as a cock ring – make that steel cunt biatch really feel it!

  • bornagainpagan

    And another thought, when the umbrella is in the patio table it means they are having sex. Never knew this before. I wonder what other pieces of furniture are copulating around me.

    News just in: local man found heavy petting with an outdoor setting. When questioned about his bizarre fetish, he replied ‘ She’s a standup girl who’s served me for years. She’s been in the shade of her man-umbrella for too long and wanted to experience the feeling of meat that hadn’t been pre-cooked on the barbie. I showed her.’

    On a more serious note, wouldn’t thrusting it into a metal pole “chafe” somewhat? That couldn’t have been comfortable/pleasurable. Oh, what do I know, maybe he was “under the influence” of something.

    Maybe he likes to dry-fuck. As to chafing, there are any number of lubricants available. I once knew a librarian in a prison who said she would often get requests from prisoners for hard back books, didn’t matter what subject. When they were returned the binding hole would be smeared with butter and cum – yep, fucking the spine of books. Love with always find a way.

    I would suggest to him that – given the poor size of his man-jewels – that he start wearing those napkin holders as a cock ring – make that steel cunt biatch really feel it!

  • bornagainpagan

    And another thought, when the umbrella is in the patio table it means they are having sex. Never knew this before. I wonder what other pieces of furniture are copulating around me.

    News just in: local man found heavy petting with an outdoor setting. When questioned about his bizarre fetish, he replied ‘ She’s a standup girl who’s served me for years. She’s been in the shade of her man-umbrella for too long and wanted to experience the feeling of meat that hadn’t been pre-cooked on the barbie. I showed her.’

    On a more serious note, wouldn’t thrusting it into a metal pole “chafe” somewhat? That couldn’t have been comfortable/pleasurable. Oh, what do I know, maybe he was “under the influence” of something.

    Maybe he likes to dry-fuck. As to chafing, there are any number of lubricants available. I once knew a librarian in a prison who said she would often get requests from prisoners for hard back books, didn’t matter what subject. When they were returned the binding hole would be smeared with butter and cum – yep, fucking the spine of books. Love with always find a way.

    I would suggest to him that – given the poor size of his man-jewels – that he start wearing those napkin holders as a cock ring – make that steel cunt biatch really feel it!

  • bornagainpagan

    And another thought, when the umbrella is in the patio table it means they are having sex. Never knew this before. I wonder what other pieces of furniture are copulating around me.

    News just in: local man found heavy petting with an outdoor setting. When questioned about his bizarre fetish, he replied ‘ She’s a standup girl who’s served me for years. She’s been in the shade of her man-umbrella for too long and wanted to experience the feeling of meat that hadn’t been pre-cooked on the barbie. I showed her.’

    On a more serious note, wouldn’t thrusting it into a metal pole “chafe” somewhat? That couldn’t have been comfortable/pleasurable. Oh, what do I know, maybe he was “under the influence” of something.

    Maybe he likes to dry-fuck. As to chafing, there are any number of lubricants available. I once knew a librarian in a prison who said she would often get requests from prisoners for hard back books, didn’t matter what subject. When they were returned the binding hole would be smeared with butter and cum – yep, fucking the spine of books. Love with always find a way.

    I would suggest to him that – given the poor size of his man-jewels – that he start wearing those napkin holders as a cock ring – make that steel cunt biatch really feel it!

  • bornagainpagan

    And another thought, when the umbrella is in the patio table it means they are having sex. Never knew this before. I wonder what other pieces of furniture are copulating around me.

    News just in: local man found heavy petting with an outdoor setting. When questioned about his bizarre fetish, he replied ‘ She’s a standup girl who’s served me for years. She’s been in the shade of her man-umbrella for too long and wanted to experience the feeling of meat that hadn’t been pre-cooked on the barbie. I showed her.’

    On a more serious note, wouldn’t thrusting it into a metal pole “chafe” somewhat? That couldn’t have been comfortable/pleasurable. Oh, what do I know, maybe he was “under the influence” of something.

    Maybe he likes to dry-fuck. As to chafing, there are any number of lubricants available. I once knew a librarian in a prison who said she would often get requests from prisoners for hard back books, didn’t matter what subject. When they were returned the binding hole would be smeared with butter and cum – yep, fucking the spine of books. Love with always find a way.

    I would suggest to him that – given the poor size of his man-jewels – that he start wearing those napkin holders as a cock ring – make that steel cunt biatch really feel it!

  • Angel

    I wonder what other pieces of furniture are copulating around me.

    All I have to say is, I wouldn’t piss off the cutlery block in the kitchen, if I were you – it might send it’s offspring to get you!

  • Angel

    I wonder what other pieces of furniture are copulating around me.

    All I have to say is, I wouldn’t piss off the cutlery block in the kitchen, if I were you – it might send it’s offspring to get you!

  • Angel

    I wonder what other pieces of furniture are copulating around me.

    All I have to say is, I wouldn’t piss off the cutlery block in the kitchen, if I were you – it might send it’s offspring to get you!

  • Angel

    I wonder what other pieces of furniture are copulating around me.

    All I have to say is, I wouldn’t piss off the cutlery block in the kitchen, if I were you – it might send it’s offspring to get you!

  • Angel

    I wonder what other pieces of furniture are copulating around me.

    All I have to say is, I wouldn’t piss off the cutlery block in the kitchen, if I were you – it might send it’s offspring to get you!

  • Angel

    I wonder what other pieces of furniture are copulating around me.

    All I have to say is, I wouldn’t piss off the cutlery block in the kitchen, if I were you – it might send it’s offspring to get you!

  • Angel

    I wonder what other pieces of furniture are copulating around me.

    All I have to say is, I wouldn’t piss off the cutlery block in the kitchen, if I were you – it might send it’s offspring to get you!

  • Angel

    I wonder what other pieces of furniture are copulating around me.

    All I have to say is, I wouldn’t piss off the cutlery block in the kitchen, if I were you – it might send it’s offspring to get you!

  • Old Man Metal

    A table? That wacky bastard’s liable to do anything! They’ll have to put him in a bare cell. Can’t even give him a drain in the floor or it’ll be “sexy time”.

  • Old Man Metal

    A table? That wacky bastard’s liable to do anything! They’ll have to put him in a bare cell. Can’t even give him a drain in the floor or it’ll be “sexy time”.

  • Old Man Metal

    A table? That wacky bastard’s liable to do anything! They’ll have to put him in a bare cell. Can’t even give him a drain in the floor or it’ll be “sexy time”.

  • Old Man Metal

    A table? That wacky bastard’s liable to do anything! They’ll have to put him in a bare cell. Can’t even give him a drain in the floor or it’ll be “sexy time”.

  • Old Man Metal

    A table? That wacky bastard’s liable to do anything! They’ll have to put him in a bare cell. Can’t even give him a drain in the floor or it’ll be “sexy time”.

  • Old Man Metal

    A table? That wacky bastard’s liable to do anything! They’ll have to put him in a bare cell. Can’t even give him a drain in the floor or it’ll be “sexy time”.

  • Old Man Metal

    A table? That wacky bastard’s liable to do anything! They’ll have to put him in a bare cell. Can’t even give him a drain in the floor or it’ll be “sexy time”.

  • Old Man Metal

    A table? That wacky bastard’s liable to do anything! They’ll have to put him in a bare cell. Can’t even give him a drain in the floor or it’ll be “sexy time”.

  • michelle

    Damn, I can’t quote on any one comment. Too many hilarious ones…
    You know there is arbophilia. A sexual attraction to trees, often leading to sexual intercourse.
    Was the said whore table made of wood?

  • michelle

    Damn, I can’t quote on any one comment. Too many hilarious ones…
    You know there is arbophilia. A sexual attraction to trees, often leading to sexual intercourse.
    Was the said whore table made of wood?

  • michelle

    Damn, I can’t quote on any one comment. Too many hilarious ones…
    You know there is arbophilia. A sexual attraction to trees, often leading to sexual intercourse.
    Was the said whore table made of wood?

  • michelle

    Damn, I can’t quote on any one comment. Too many hilarious ones…
    You know there is arbophilia. A sexual attraction to trees, often leading to sexual intercourse.
    Was the said whore table made of wood?

  • michelle

    Damn, I can’t quote on any one comment. Too many hilarious ones…
    You know there is arbophilia. A sexual attraction to trees, often leading to sexual intercourse.
    Was the said whore table made of wood?

  • michelle

    Damn, I can’t quote on any one comment. Too many hilarious ones…
    You know there is arbophilia. A sexual attraction to trees, often leading to sexual intercourse.
    Was the said whore table made of wood?

  • michelle

    Damn, I can’t quote on any one comment. Too many hilarious ones…
    You know there is arbophilia. A sexual attraction to trees, often leading to sexual intercourse.
    Was the said whore table made of wood?

  • akika666

    Yeah, the table was asking for it. Whatta slut. Hanging around all the time, spreading its hole for any Tom, Dick or Arty. I’m not saying it was loose, but you could stick an UMBRELLA up there.

    I wonder if he jacked to the Porch n Patio website.

  • akika666

    Yeah, the table was asking for it. Whatta slut. Hanging around all the time, spreading its hole for any Tom, Dick or Arty. I’m not saying it was loose, but you could stick an UMBRELLA up there.

    I wonder if he jacked to the Porch n Patio website.

  • akika666

    Yeah, the table was asking for it. Whatta slut. Hanging around all the time, spreading its hole for any Tom, Dick or Arty. I’m not saying it was loose, but you could stick an UMBRELLA up there.

    I wonder if he jacked to the Porch n Patio website.

  • akika666

    Yeah, the table was asking for it. Whatta slut. Hanging around all the time, spreading its hole for any Tom, Dick or Arty. I’m not saying it was loose, but you could stick an UMBRELLA up there.

    I wonder if he jacked to the Porch n Patio website.

  • akika666

    Yeah, the table was asking for it. Whatta slut. Hanging around all the time, spreading its hole for any Tom, Dick or Arty. I’m not saying it was loose, but you could stick an UMBRELLA up there.

    I wonder if he jacked to the Porch n Patio website.

  • akika666

    Yeah, the table was asking for it. Whatta slut. Hanging around all the time, spreading its hole for any Tom, Dick or Arty. I’m not saying it was loose, but you could stick an UMBRELLA up there.

    I wonder if he jacked to the Porch n Patio website.

  • aspartame

    Yeah, the table was asking for it. Whatta slut. Hanging around all the time, spreading its hole for any Tom, Dick or Arty. I’m not saying it was loose, but you could stick an UMBRELLA up there.

    OMFG!!!!

    just FYI diet pepsi BURNS when blowing it out of your nose!

  • aspartame

    Yeah, the table was asking for it. Whatta slut. Hanging around all the time, spreading its hole for any Tom, Dick or Arty. I’m not saying it was loose, but you could stick an UMBRELLA up there.

    OMFG!!!!

    just FYI diet pepsi BURNS when blowing it out of your nose!

  • aspartame

    Yeah, the table was asking for it. Whatta slut. Hanging around all the time, spreading its hole for any Tom, Dick or Arty. I’m not saying it was loose, but you could stick an UMBRELLA up there.

    OMFG!!!!

    just FYI diet pepsi BURNS when blowing it out of your nose!

  • aspartame

    Yeah, the table was asking for it. Whatta slut. Hanging around all the time, spreading its hole for any Tom, Dick or Arty. I’m not saying it was loose, but you could stick an UMBRELLA up there.

    OMFG!!!!

    just FYI diet pepsi BURNS when blowing it out of your nose!

  • aspartame

    Yeah, the table was asking for it. Whatta slut. Hanging around all the time, spreading its hole for any Tom, Dick or Arty. I’m not saying it was loose, but you could stick an UMBRELLA up there.

    OMFG!!!!

    just FYI diet pepsi BURNS when blowing it out of your nose!

  • aspartame

    Yeah, the table was asking for it. Whatta slut. Hanging around all the time, spreading its hole for any Tom, Dick or Arty. I’m not saying it was loose, but you could stick an UMBRELLA up there.

    OMFG!!!!

    just FYI diet pepsi BURNS when blowing it out of your nose!

  • aspartame

    Yeah, the table was asking for it. Whatta slut. Hanging around all the time, spreading its hole for any Tom, Dick or Arty. I’m not saying it was loose, but you could stick an UMBRELLA up there.

    OMFG!!!!

    just FYI diet pepsi BURNS when blowing it out of your nose!

  • WryBread

    … I once knew a librarian in a prison who said she would often get requests from prisoners for hard back books, didn’t matter what subject. When they were returned the binding hole would be smeared with butter and cum – yep, fucking the spine of books. Love with always find a way.

    Jailhouse lovers of literature?
    Wonder if any have formed a hardback-only book club?
    And I just suggested that a friend donate her old books to a prison. Didn’t have any idea of what I was really doing! Ugh.

    All I have to say is, I wouldn’t piss off the cutlery block in the kitchen, if I were you – it might send it’s offspring to get you!

    But what would their offspring be? Pieces of sandpaper?

  • WryBread

    … I once knew a librarian in a prison who said she would often get requests from prisoners for hard back books, didn’t matter what subject. When they were returned the binding hole would be smeared with butter and cum – yep, fucking the spine of books. Love with always find a way.

    Jailhouse lovers of literature?
    Wonder if any have formed a hardback-only book club?
    And I just suggested that a friend donate her old books to a prison. Didn’t have any idea of what I was really doing! Ugh.

    All I have to say is, I wouldn’t piss off the cutlery block in the kitchen, if I were you – it might send it’s offspring to get you!

    But what would their offspring be? Pieces of sandpaper?

  • WryBread

    … I once knew a librarian in a prison who said she would often get requests from prisoners for hard back books, didn’t matter what subject. When they were returned the binding hole would be smeared with butter and cum – yep, fucking the spine of books. Love with always find a way.

    Jailhouse lovers of literature?
    Wonder if any have formed a hardback-only book club?
    And I just suggested that a friend donate her old books to a prison. Didn’t have any idea of what I was really doing! Ugh.

    All I have to say is, I wouldn’t piss off the cutlery block in the kitchen, if I were you – it might send it’s offspring to get you!

    But what would their offspring be? Pieces of sandpaper?

  • WryBread

    … I once knew a librarian in a prison who said she would often get requests from prisoners for hard back books, didn’t matter what subject. When they were returned the binding hole would be smeared with butter and cum – yep, fucking the spine of books. Love with always find a way.

    Jailhouse lovers of literature?
    Wonder if any have formed a hardback-only book club?
    And I just suggested that a friend donate her old books to a prison. Didn’t have any idea of what I was really doing! Ugh.

    All I have to say is, I wouldn’t piss off the cutlery block in the kitchen, if I were you – it might send it’s offspring to get you!

    But what would their offspring be? Pieces of sandpaper?

  • WryBread

    … I once knew a librarian in a prison who said she would often get requests from prisoners for hard back books, didn’t matter what subject. When they were returned the binding hole would be smeared with butter and cum – yep, fucking the spine of books. Love with always find a way.

    Jailhouse lovers of literature?
    Wonder if any have formed a hardback-only book club?
    And I just suggested that a friend donate her old books to a prison. Didn’t have any idea of what I was really doing! Ugh.

    All I have to say is, I wouldn’t piss off the cutlery block in the kitchen, if I were you – it might send it’s offspring to get you!

    But what would their offspring be? Pieces of sandpaper?

  • WryBread

    … I once knew a librarian in a prison who said she would often get requests from prisoners for hard back books, didn’t matter what subject. When they were returned the binding hole would be smeared with butter and cum – yep, fucking the spine of books. Love with always find a way.

    Jailhouse lovers of literature?
    Wonder if any have formed a hardback-only book club?
    And I just suggested that a friend donate her old books to a prison. Didn’t have any idea of what I was really doing! Ugh.

    All I have to say is, I wouldn’t piss off the cutlery block in the kitchen, if I were you – it might send it’s offspring to get you!

    But what would their offspring be? Pieces of sandpaper?

  • Angel

    But what would their offspring be? Pieces of sandpaper?

    Maybe a blade with a ‘woody’?

  • Angel

    But what would their offspring be? Pieces of sandpaper?

    Maybe a blade with a ‘woody’?

  • michelle

    Damn, I can’t quote on any one comment. Too many hilarious ones…You know there is arbophilia. A sexual attraction to trees, often leading to sexual intercourse.Was the said whore table made of wood?

    I said “wood”. LMFAO!

  • michelle

    Damn, I can’t quote on any one comment. Too many hilarious ones…You know there is arbophilia. A sexual attraction to trees, often leading to sexual intercourse.Was the said whore table made of wood?

    I said “wood”. LMFAO!

  • tutkill

    http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Art%20Price%2C%20Jr.

    Someone entered Art, Price Jr. as a term for having sexual relations with out door furniture. LOL

    Who did it???

  • tutkill

    http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Art%20Price%2C%20Jr.

    Someone entered Art, Price Jr. as a term for having sexual relations with out door furniture. LOL

    Who did it???

  • Baubn Myknaub

    I hope the table was of the age to consent!

  • patrickdh10

    I wonder if the barbecue grill got in on the action.

  • Just checking out your old posts about sexually abused furniture