Petra HuffmireFULLERTON, CA — Before I get started with today’s terrible news, I thought I would provide you with some good news in the form of an update on Lester and Petra Huffmire.

In case you’ve forgotten, this is the couple who were arrested last year after it was discovered they’d been keeping two female relatives, ages 5 and 10, malnourished and locked inside a nasty trailer for three years while they played World of Warcraft.

The two girls stayed with the unemployed couple from May 21, 2010 to May 20, 2013, in their trailer at the Satellite Mobile Homes Estate. The girls were never allowed to go outside for any reason, and were not allowed to attend school.

Police visited the trailer after receiving multiple calls from concerned neighbors. What they found inside was a trailer full of filth. It was littered with stacks of trash, debris, mold, and feces. There were a pile of used condoms found under a stuffed teddy bear, the kitchen appliances were covered in mold and cobwebs, and the toilets did not work.…

Petra HuffmireFULLERTON, CA — Lester Huffmire and his wife, Petra Huffmire, have been accused of keeping two young female relatives malnourished and locked inside a nasty trailer for years while they played World of Warcraft all day.

It is being alleged that between May 21, 2010, and May 20, 2013, the couple lived in a mobile home at the Satellite Mobile Homes Estate and prevented the two girls, ages 5 and 10, from leaving the trailer for any reason, including attending school.

Police got involved after multiple calls from concerned neighbors. Grace McKee said she called officials more than once to report something weird was going on with her neighbors, the last time was 12 days ago. “I wish I had forced the issue years ago. They sorta said, ‘If you don’t see much, why should we come out?’ That sort of thing,” she said. “I wish I would have really, really insisted.”

Witness McKayla Smith said she briefly saw one of the girls as she stared at her through a window. …

ALBUQUERQUE, NM — It’s been awhile since we’ve had some World of Warcraft related news, but an 18-year-old man paid for a 12-year-old girl to fly over a thousand miles so that they could meet and have sex.

It all started eight months ago when Alex Trowell met an 11-year-old girl while playing World of Warcraft. The relationship soon graduated from casual talk in-game to sexting and plans to meet. So on New Year’s Day, Trowell started driving from Idaho to New Mexico to meet the girl, but his plans were thwarted when someone tipped off police who intercepted him and told him to turn around.

But you just can’t keep a good erection down and Trowell came up with a new plan after finding out that the girl, now 12, could fly on United Airlines without parental consent. He paid for her ticket and before long, the two were fooling around in the home Trowell lived with his grandparents. The plan was for the girl to live in the abandoned house next door until she turned 18, at which time the two lovebirds would get married.…

AINSWORTH, Neb. – Well this morning has started off great as I came into work to find that leftover Coke had eaten through an Arby’s cup on my desk. Please, please, no need for concern. I had my new, big breasted secretary clean it up very slowly. So let’s get on with some good news. An Amber Alert issued Wednesday was cancelled when 15-year-old Melody Rose Martin, reported missing from Nebraska, was found safe in Arkansas. She had been reported as abducted when her parents learned she was in the company of 30-year-old Robert F. Olney – a man she met playing World of Warcraft. Her parents figures out their daughter’s plan to run away with Olney because they had installed a keylogger on her PC. Her parents had already noticed problems with Melody, also known as Melody Gibbs, stemming from her seeming addiction to World of Warcraft. They claim she was spending up to 90-hours a week on the game, most of that time spent in the company of Olney’s character.…

Tampa – Middleton High School assistant principal, Lauren S. Tilo, has been arrested for sending a naked picture of herself to a 14-year-old boy. Police say the 30-year-old met the boy in February while playing World of Warcraft and were both aware of each other’s ages. In March, Tilo sent the teen a message from her cell phone with an image of herself in a “provocative and sexual pose.” The boy told a school guidance counselor about the picture on Wednesday. Why? Who knows. But it sucks for Tilo as she has been removed from her position at the school (with pay, of course because you know, she’s a teacher. Sometimes I wonder exactly what a teacher would have to do to be immediately fired with no pay. I actually create scenarios in my head that consist of teachers dressed as Hitler forcibly giving students a Dirty Sanchez or maybe a science teacher whipping out a male sex doll dressed to look like Jesus and having anal sex with it on his desk.

PORTLAND, Ore. – A 49-year-old woman from Portland met a 14-year-old boy from Tennessee back in July 2009 while playing World of Warcraft – one of the lamest goddamn games ever created, btw. The online chatting between the two eventually turned sexual in nature, with each sending the other nude photos of themselves. This led to Sallie Lawson Fifield being arrested at her home on Wednesday, charged with enticement and transfer of obscene material. But I am sure that this case will be treated without bias and the same as if this had been a 49-year-old man trading pictures of his cock for masturbation pics of an overweight, 14-year-old girl with self-esteem issues. Right? I’m not sure if I am more embarrassed for Fifield because she sent nudes of herself to a 14-year-old boy, or because she is playing WoW. It’s a toss up, actually. But stories like these do help solidify my belief that you will find no larger group of online cougars than you will find on World of Warcraft.…

MANATEE COUNTY, FL. – I really wanted to put this guy up last week, but I was sick and didn’t give a shit. But now I feel better and figure I would get him posted so 8 months from now family members will come on and tell us to “we aint god and aint got no write two judge.” Last Thursday, 27-year-old James Swan was drinking and playing “World of Warcraft” in a room he shares with some younger siblings. He was getting loud and belligerent so his mother, 50-year-old Hazel Summerall, came in and told him to keep it down. Swan responded by grabbing his mother by the hair and throwing her on the bed. He did the same to a younger brother. When his mother ran to the phone to call 911, things really got messed up.…

Robert Davison’s Ritual of Summoning, Fails

March 27, 2009 at 4:59 am by  

Salt Lake City, Utah –Parents, want to get it across to your teens that things, and people, on the internet aren’t always what they seem? Print out a picture of Prince Charming here, and tape it to your computer. That should be enough to scare any child away from a chat room. Robert Lavern Davison Jr., the nasty beast, is gracing the pages of the Dreamin’ Demon because he reportedly wanted to hook up with a 13-year-old girl.

The 48-year-old beast, also known as ‘Bear’,  likes to play World of Warcraft; hence the title. In June 2008, he started chatting with a 13-year-old girl during game play. The chatting then moved to instant messaging, where it became more and more sexual. Eventually, Davison sent the girl a cell phone and communicated with her that way. I have to believe that the girl had no idea what Davison really looked like. I have to believe it, or I won’t be able to sleep tonight.

On November 13, the girl’s mother called police to report her daughter didn’t make it to school.…


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