James WatsonARLINGTON, VA – Police arrested James Watson after he beat his roommate for using a permanent marker to draw a penis on his face while he was sleeping.

Watson, 31, fell asleep on his couch after a night of drinking. When he woke up at around 5:30 a.m., he became enraged when he found his roommate had drawn a dick on his face, and that it would not wash off.

Police say that Watson ran upstairs to the bedroom of the roommate he suspected of drawing the dick, and jumped on him while he was sleeping. After repeatedly punching the other man in the face, a third roommate managed to separate the two. According to police, the roommates admitted they often play pranks on each other when drunk.

A little over an hour after the assault, the beaten artist decided he was going to press charges and called police. The roommate paid for his dick move with extensive injuries to his face, including a swollen, bleeding eye, and was taken to the hospital.…

Caleb GordleySterling, VA – After sneaking out of his house to go drinking with friends, 16-year-old Caleb Gordley was shot to death a few hours later after he mistakenly entered the wrong home.

Police say after drinking with friends Saturday night, Caleb was dropped off at the upscale neighborhood he and his family had lived in for only a year. After hopping a fence at around 2:40 in the morning, Caleb entered a home he thought was his, but was actually his neighbor’s home two doors down.

The homeowner, Donald Wilder, was alerted to someone in his house after a security alarm was triggered when Caleb entered the home through a back window. Wilder called 911 to report an intruder, but ended up shooting Caleb as the teen made his way up the stairs to where Wilder and his family were sleeping.

The two homes are similar looking, especially in the back, and are located in a neighborhood populated by McMansions. Investigators feel that Caleb had no ill-intent when he entered Wilder’s home, but that his inebriated state had him confused as to what house he was entering.…

Matthew StrawnPORTSMOUTH, VA — Police in Portsmouth have charged 21-year-old Matthew Wayne Strawn with biting his 11-day-old son while the newborn was in an intensive care unit.

According to the reports, police officers were called to the Portsmouth Naval Medical Center on Feb. 1 for a report of possible abuse. Staff at the Naval Medical Center informed them that the newborn was with Strawn in a private hospital room away from the NICU so they could spend some time alone together and bond.

Sometime between 1:30 a.m. and 2:30 a.m., hospital staff said when they went into the room to check on Strawn and his son they noticed that the infant had visible contusions to his back and face. They immediately removed the newborn and called police.

After police interviewed Strawn, investigators believed he had bitten his son. Strawn was subsequently arrested and charged with one count of felony child abuse and one count of felonious assault. Strawn is currently free after being released from jail on a personal recognizance bond.

A restraining order was filed against Strawn, who works in an administrative position at the medical center, stating he is not allowed to get near his son.…

STAFFORD COUNTY, VA — A “mother” in Virginia is behind bars after her baby was found alone inside a motel room in an upside down car seat.

Police responded to a Motel 6 around 11 p.m. Monday after receiving a call from the motel regarding a baby that would not stop crying inside one of the rooms.

“When the deputies opened the door, they found a 7 to 8 month old baby girl, strapped in a child restraint seat, now the seat was upside down on the bed, which obviously caused the baby to scream, was in some discomfort,” Stafford County Sheriff’s Office Public Information Officer Bill Kennedy said. “When they turned the baby over, they found bruising and scrapes consistent with the restraints of the child safety seat.”

Aside from a crying baby upside down in a car seat, deputies also found a crack pipe sitting on a nightstand. What they did not find was the baby girl’s mother, 34-year-old Christine Clark. The infant was transported to the hospital where the girl was found to have cocaine in her system.…

MIDLOTHIAN, VA – A teacher has been fired after a former student shamed her all to hell on Twitter by revealing he had sex with her and backed up his claims with a series of nude photos and explicit text messages she’d sent him.

Justin Foster is a former student at Cosby High School in Midlothian, Virginia. The 18-year-old got drunk the other day and took to his Twitter with claims of some really big news to come. “Hahahaha oh man shit going down tonight please if you attend Cosby or used to please be on twitter it’ll be a treat” he posted Tuesday night. He wasn’t kidding.

What followed was a series of posts that contained nude photos of Anna Michelle Walters, a substitute teacher at Cosby High that Foster claims to have had sex with when he was a 17-year-old student there.

He also included a series of text messages between him and Walters that make it pretty clear that the two were involved in a sexual relationship. Aside from her telling Foster that by him having sex with her that he is the envy of his entire class, she also informs him that she had to adjust her vagina to accommodate his huge penis.…

Virginia Beach, VA – Kevin Bullock doesn’t like it when romantic relationships go awry.  We know this because he was convicted in 1986 for stabbing then-girlfriend Natalie Purdie 30 times with a pair of scissors when she refused to marry him.  She was in the hospital for a month and still suffers from migraines and vision problems and maintains that the attack ruined her life.  He received only four years suspended prison time for that offense, believe it or not.

In 1998, he was convicted of pummeling girlfriend Claudia Lawson-Wilson in her home after finding out that she had gone out with another man.  He received three years of suspended prison time in that case, according to online court records.  WTF, Virginia?

Bullock’s string of luck has ended, thankfully.

On Monday, Circuit Judge Glenn R. Croshaw sentenced Kevin Bullock, 50, to 35 years behind bars for an attack on the same women he beat up in 1998, Claudia Lawson-Wilson.

On December 10, 2010, Lawson-Wilson spotted Bullock when he showed up at her house unannounced. …

WINDSOR, Va — Police in Virginia have arrested four adults after a 15-year-old girl was tied to a tree then assaulted with eggs and beer. I always thought this was how people in Virginia took their weekly bath, but was surprised to find out that even in Virginia, this is illegal.

The incident happened back in April at the Big Bear Campground but Social Services, accompanied by police, went to interview the family after someone called to report the incident.

The teen was at the home when they arrived and learned that she had been tied to a tree with ratchet straps and had been assaulted with eggs and beer by her own family and neighbors.

According to a criminal complaint, 47-year-old Randel L. Miller put eggs in the girl’s shirt and shoved her against the tree, cracking the eggs. 48-year-old Loretta L. Miller poured two bottles of beer over the teen. The Millers are the teen’s legal guardians.

One of the Miller’s neighbors, 46-year-old Margaret J. Allen, admitted to spraying the teen in the face with a hose.…

CULPEPER, VA — The other day we had a commenter in one of our dog stories relay a story of someone shooting a dog after it had tried to attack a baby. It was a real hit with our resident animal lovers.

Coincidentally, we now have another story involving a dog who bit a baby, and an owner who shot it immediately afterwards. (*puts popcorn in microwave*)

An infant in Virginia hasn’t even been breathing air for a month when the family’s Jack Russell terrier decided to use the 20-day-old as a chew toy. The dog had gotten into the child’s bassinet while the mother took a nap.

Luckily the baby’s father returned home as the attack was in progress, but the dog had already bitten off the infant’s ear. The child was rushed to the hospital to treat multiple bite wounds to the buttocks and to have the ear sewn back on. The infant is currently in stable condition.

Lillian Leo, who raises and sells Jack Russell terriers, says she will not sell the dogs to families with small children.

FREDERICKSBURG, Va — The woman convicted of faking cancer to raise thousands of dollars for her treatment has been ordered to pay a $100 fine.

Martha Ann Nicholas pleaded guilty to two misdemeanor charges of obtaining money by false pretenses after prosecutors say she raised $1700 dollars selling “Cancer Sucks” T-shirts to family, friends, and strangers to help treat the stage-4 ovarian cancer she even didn’t have.

Authorities began investigating Nicholas in 2011 after they received a report that she was collecting donations based on a medical condition she hadn’t been diagnosed with. Nicholas was an active fund raiser for American Cancer Society and help raised $12,000 for the group, which the they say they received. What got Nicholas in legal trouble was the $1,700 that she raised for herself.

Aside from the $100 fine, Nicholas was also given a suspended sentence of a year in jail on each charge and ordered not to take part in any charitable causes. Her defense attorney added that his client had paid back the money she collected while also giving an explanation as to why she was faking having cancer.…

Virginia Beach, VA – When April Portis brought her 11-month-old, Jahmai, to Virginia Beach, VA to meet his grandparents for the first time, she expected the elegant splendor that only a Motel 6 can provide. Sadly, lurking behind the attentive wait-staff, the fine appointments, and seductively ornate decor was a dark side…

While the family was in their rented accomodation, the grandmother reportedly notice that the child – who is teething – had a spoon of unknown origin in his mouth.

“She looked at it and she’s like ‘look at this,'” Portis said. “I took it from her [and] the back of the spoon was all burnt up and [on] the top of the spoon was the residue from the cocaine on it.”

Portis called police who tested the spoon for cocaine. With the spoon testing positive, our jittery teether was then rushed to the hospital.

After returning from the hospital, Motel 6 executives dutifully refunded Portis the fee for that night and moved the family to another room. In a clear demonstration of their commitment to excellence, the new room was thoroughly inspected by one of the establishment’s personnel in the presence of the family.…

Ruckersville, VA — Not much info on this one yet, but police have apparently taken a 5-year-old boy into custody after the kid injured two children and one adult with an “edged weapon” in what neighbors are calling a dispute over a juice box.

Deputies responded to a Ruckersville mobile home park Monday afternoon to find the three suffering from non-life threatening stab wounds.

“I’ve heard of juveniles throwing temper tantrums, but I’ve never heard of anything like this before,” said Greene County Sheriff Steve Smith.

At least one victim is related to the child, but authorities have not revealed which one or the nature of that relationship. Nor have they confirmed whether the alleged stabbing occurred over a juice box.

The child was still in police custody Monday evening and is said to be undergoing some sort of evaluation.

Virginia Beach, VA – A selfless Virginia restaurateur, who reportedly took it upon himself to establish a personal college scholarship program to aid women in need, has pleaded guilty to sexual battery for… well… administering it.

Court testimony said that Henry Allen Fitzsimmons, 54, called his program the ‘Spencer Scholarship Program.’ It reportedly offered participants a chance ‘to go to college and better their lives.’ Court documents said that, sadly, none of the several women in the Spencer Scholarship Program ever began their college studies – as Fitzsimmons had deemed that they ‘were not yet ready.’ Five women filed criminal complaints against Fitzsimmons in April, saying – in effect – that the beatings from the Spencer Scholarship Program had left them with bruises and welts on their asses.

The women testified they were cash-strapped when they signed on to Fitzsimmons’ scholarship program. At the time of their “acceptance” into the scholarship program, the women were reportedly told that the program did not allow drinking alcohol and required the participants to phone Fitzsimmons.…

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