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Man Accused Of Trying To Eat Neighbor’s Face Off

January 23, 2014 at 5:49 am by  

Bath Salt ZombieStPetersburg, FL — No, this is not a repeat….

Authorities claim 18-year-old Brandon Davis, apparently high on some sort of synthetic drug, attacked his neighbor early Sunday morning, biting the man on his face, hands and neck while yelling something about eating the man’s eyeballs.

The victim, 54-year-old Nick Sorace, told police he heard a commotion at about 2:00 a.m. Sunday, and when he looked out the window to see what all the fuss was about, he witnessed Davis beating a dog.

“He thought the dog was the devil,” Sorace said. “And then the next thing he sees is me, illuminated — and all of a sudden, I’m the devil.”

Davis apparently kicked in Sorace’s front door, chased a woman through the house and out the back door, then returned. He started beating and biting Sorace, continuing with his “You’re the Devil” spiel.

“He broke a flower pot over my head, he was sticking me in the neck with pieces…he stuck his thumb all the way in my eye socket and he just ripped my mouth and he bit my face.…

Argument Over Radio Station Leads To Stabbing

January 22, 2013 at 6:28 am by  

Willie BrownSt. Petersburg, FL — Yeah, you know this one is all about the mugshot, baby…

The handsome gent to the left, 58-year-old Willie Brown, was jailed Wednesday after police say he stabbed his roomie several times during an argument over a radio station.

According to police, Brown and his roommate, 72-year-old Abraham Shedrack, got into a verbal altercation after disagreeing about which radio station to listen to.

Investigators say the spat at the Palace Mobile Home Park quickly turned violent that evening, with Brown leaving at least 10 new holes in Shedrack’s body before it was over.

Why, yes, alcohol was a factor. Well, alcohol and whatever it is in the water supply out there that makes people ugly and batshit crazy.

Shedrack was taken to Bayfront Medical Center with life-threatening injuries, officials said.

Brown was booked in the Pinellas County Jail and is being held without bail. He has been charged with attempted first-degree murder.

While researching this story, I came across another link referring to a second stabbing in the same mobile home park… same night, damn near the same time.…

St. Petersburg, FL – Your daily dose of “totally batshit crazy” comes to you courtesy of Danielle Harkins, 35, a literacy teacher at Lealman and Asian Neighborhood Family Center, and yet-to-be-certified loon.  Harkins gathered a group of seven teens, all of Asian descent and former students of hers, to an area near a pier in St. Pete just before dusk on Saturday.

She allegedly built a small fire and informed the group that they needed to release their demons by cutting themselves.  They were then told that they were required to burn the wounds to prevent said demons from returning.  What’s ridiculous about this is that she believes demons can only exit the body through a wound.  Personally, I release mine wound-free and daily in the bathroom, usually after my morning coffee.  But then, maybe that’s why they’re always returning.  Pesky demons.  I’m new to bizarre religious zealotry, so that might explain my gross ignorance on the topic.

“Obviously, it’s very strange,” said St. Petersburg police spokesman Mike Puetz. “The motivations for the ritual are very unknown to us.”  Previously, I was under the impression that motivations were either simply “known” or “unknown,” but Mr.…

Severed Leg Found In December Identified

March 28, 2012 at 8:39 am by  

Plant City, FL – The owner of a severed leg that washed up in St. Petersburg, FL in December has finally been identified through DNA testing.  Until recently, all authorities knew was that it belonged to a heavy-set individual, likely female (as it was clean-shaven), and that it didn’t appear to be an accidental loss.  The leg was found on December 27th by a Canadian family who were renting a residence in the area.

As detectives now know, the leg belongs to one Kelly Moriarty, 37.  I’m going to go ahead and assume that she’s no longer with us, and not just happily hopping around somewhere; that the amputation wasn’t some cockamamie plan to lose weight.

The Bradenton woman was last seen at Doris Carter’s house in Plant City.  Carter, 61, who lived with her daughter, has reportedly been romantically involved with Moriarty for the past two years.  The couple was last seen on December 16th.  On the morning of December 17th, Carter’s daughter woke to find the couple, and Moriarty’s car, gone. …

St. Petersburg, FL – Police say two suspects, both armed with guns and a knife, forced their way into a woman’s home as she was arriving home from work late Monday evening. Once inside the residence, the robbers reportedly bound the woman’s 15-year-old son with duct tape before ransacking the home in an apparent search for drugs and/or money. At some point during their two hour stay, the home invaders allegedly forced the woman to melt butter and pour it over her chest. *blinks* Fortunately, the butter had cooled somewhat before coming into contact with her skin. Police don’t believe the melted butter thing was meant to be any sort of sexual threat, but was meant to be intimidating. Silly me, I thought that’s what the guns and knives were for!  Before making their escape, the alleged butter bandits bound the woman in duct tape and made off with an AK-47, a Glock 36 and a couple of iPods. Police say another family was taken hostage in the area less than 24 hours earlier.…

St. Petersburg, FL – Elroy McConnell was on vacation with his family and decided to treat his three sons to a “guys night out” Saturday evening. After taking in a movie, the four were heading back to their rented beach house early Sunday morning, when they were all taken out by an alleged drunk driver. Police say an intoxicated Demetrius Jordan may have been traveling at a high rate of speed when he blew through a red light and slammed his Impala into McConnell’s Ford Fusion, sending the car and its passengers into a large support beam boasting 7-11’s gas prices. The McConnells, 51-year-old Elroy, 28-year-old Elroy III, 24-year-old Nathan and 19-year-old Kelly, were pronounced dead on the scene. A father and his three sons, two of them fathers themselves, gone in the blink of an eye. Just. Like. That. Demetrius, 20, his 20-year-old male passenger were both transported to the hospital with serious injuries. I hope to hell the fucker lives – I hope he’s physically mangled and in constant agony, but I hope he lives to pay.…

St. Petersburg, FL – Vladimir Struk was jealous of his step-daughter’s pit bull mix, Barry. Because he felt the dog was “living better than him,” he allegedly wrapped a zip tie around the dog’s neck and strangled it to death before tossing it in the trash can. Struk claims the 13-year-old dog was given meat to eat – meat that should have been given to him. According to police, “while the dog was screaming, Struk held it down so it could not get away and could not find anyone to help it.” Officers later found the animal in a trash bin, with the zip tie still present on his neck. Struk also threatened to kill his entire family in the same manner. It is believed that Struk may be suffering from mental issues. Noooo…really? Ya think? The 57-year-old man is being held on charges of animal cruelty and bail has been set at $10,000.…

St. Petersburg, FL – This is Joseph Rezendes. Don’t let his boyish good looks fool you, the dude is a real badass. He terrorizes the elderly and can totally whoop a double amputee’s ass, people. Yep, he’s a real tough guy. According to police, Rezendes first accosted an elderly woman at her front door late Saturday night and robbed her of the $8 she was holding in her hand before running off. About 5 minutes after that, he came across a double amputee sitting in a wheelchair and, without provocation, proceeded to beat the snot out of the guy, repeatedly punching him in the face. The victim was left with a swollen and scratched up face. Knowing that, one can only hope the bruises, scratches and scrapes on Rezendes’ face were caused by an officer repeatedly dragging the fucker across the pavement. When Rezendes was caught, he told the arresting officers he would apologize if police would just let him go. I bet’cha the little puke even shed a tear or two.…

American Idol Could Be Hazardous To Your Health

January 28, 2010 at 7:06 am by  

St. Petersburg, FL – While watching an episode of American Idol in their motel room last Tuesday, Cynthia Bettis-Ware, 52, and her boyfriend, 47-year-old Kevin Johnson, had some sort of disagreement over something that happened on the show. Johnson, hoping to end the squabble, turned the channel. Ware, however, wasn’t finished with her tirade and continued running at the mouth. When she failed to put a cork in it, Johnson decided to just retire for the evening and the poor sap turned his back on the angry woman. Tsk, tsk. Someone wasn’t paying attention in class – the first thing they teach you at man school is to never turn your back on a pissed off crazy lady. Johnson awoke to find Ware standing over him with a 10″ butcher knife. Ware was still pissed off and feeling stabby. She stabbed her lover five times in the back and twice in the chest. And at some point during the melee, scalded him with hot chocolate. Johnson stripped her of the knife and beat feet out of the room.…

Nicholas Marks Is A Worthless Little Bitch

January 27, 2010 at 7:36 am by  

St. Petersburg, FL – Nicholas Marks, 20, is an unemployed and ungrateful little bastid who has been moochin’ off his cancer-stricken 83-year-old grandma for far too long. Despite her illness, the woman works five days a week to support her snot-nosed bratty grandson and is repaid not with kindness, but with threats and abuse. Last Sunday, Marks called police to report that he was beaten by his father’s girlfriend and pushed by his grandmother. While investigating his claims, police discovered that Marks is the abusive one and has been mentally and physically abusing his grandmother for nearly a year. The alleged abuse includes repeated insults directed at his grandmother and the screaming of vulgarities; repeated pokes to grandma’s arm; repeatedly fucking with the remote and changing channels while grandma was watching TV. On one occasion, grandma accidentally stepped on the brat’s foot and ended up knocking her head on a wall after he pushed her. On Sunday, after another argument over the TV, grandma retreated to another room, only to be followed by a yelling and screaming Marks.…

Hugh Thompson Annoys Women At Wal-Mart

January 27, 2010 at 6:37 am by  

St. Petersburg, FL – What is it about Wal-Mart that makes some men totally lose all sense of morals and rationality? We have many stories here at the Dreamin’ Demon about men who stalk the aisles and bathrooms of Wal-Mart with the sole intent of ruining someone’s day to appease their own sick and twisted desires. Is it the lighting? The crowd? The odor? Really, I’d love to know. Let’s add Hugh Thompson to the ever-growing list of Wal-Mart miscreants. Hugh, a registered sex offender, was arrested after he was caught annoying and harassing women at a Wal-Mart Supercenter. According to authorities and video surveillance, Hugh appeared to be “wandering” aimlessly through the store for about 30 minutes, but he wasn’t doing any shopping. What he was doing was trying to garner the attention of female shoppers by “continuously zipping and unzipping his pants” after approaching or walking past them. According to police, it seemed as though he was waiting for the women to turn around and catch him with his pants unzipped.…

Billie Vercellona Is A Drunken Moron

June 20, 2009 at 8:55 am by  

St. Petersburg, FloridaPolice received a call around midnight on Friday from Kimberly Crone, who said she was following a motorist who was driving erratically. Before the call to 911 had even ended, the erratic driver plowed into Ted Manooch’s truck, which was parked in front of his house. The driver hit the parked vehicle with enough force to slam it right into the house. After the accident, Kimberly said she jumped out of her car and heard a baby crying. “I tried to break the window, but I couldn’t break it with my hand.”

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