Lynne SpauldingSan Francisco, CA – A woman who went missing from her hospital room was found dead 17 days later in one of the hospital’s stairwells.

On September 19th, 57-year-old Lynne Spaulding was admitted to San Francisco General Hospital, apparently for complications from a bladder infection. Her family says she was frail and thin when admitted, and were worried about her condition. Hospital staff were supposedly checking on Spaulding every 15 minutes due to her “frail condition and confused mental state,” which sounds a bit more serious than a simple bladder infection. Although, some sources are saying the medication the hospital had her on was making her disoriented.

The hospital said they last saw Spaulding in her fifth floor room at 10:15 am on September 21st, and that her condition had improved. A nurse checked on her fifteen minutes later and she was gone. When her boyfriend and two friends came to visit Spaulding shortly after, they were told she’d gone missing. Her family filed a missing persons report after the San Francisco Sheriff’s Department and hospital staff conducted, what they believed to be, a thorough search of the hospital.…

St. Louis, MO – An investigation into the online activities of 47-year-old Kenneth Kyle began back in December of 2009 when authorities discovered someone used a computer at his address to send 100 child porn images to an undercover FBI agent on a peer-to-peer file-sharing service. The discovery led to a search of his San Francisco home on March 10, while he was out of the country. Authorities found evidence of child pornography on his home computer and Kyle was arrested upon his return to the states on March 15. On March 19, federal prosecutors charged Kyle with transportation of child pornography. Information on Kyle’s computer then led authorities to Ballwin, Missouri. There, they arrested Tessa Van Vlerah – a 20-year-old college student and single mother of a 13-month-old child. Authorities believe Van Vlerah not only assisted Kyle in the molestation of her child, but participated as well. And the FBI has the pictures to prove it. Kyle allegedly made several trips to Missouri over the past year where he and Van Vlerah would go to motels to sexually assault the baby.…

Teef Thief On The Loose In San Francisco?

November 30, 2009 at 11:18 am by  

San Francisco – Demonites, meet 32-year-old Elena Aronson. This pretty lady claims that back in April, some random dude who had been sitting next to her on the Muni attacked her and stole her teeth. Right out of her mouth. According to Elena, she was riding the bus to work on April 6th when the man next to her “fixed his gaze on her teeth.” “I want them,” the random guy allegedly said. He repeatedly told her that “her teeth were beautiful – like the moon and stars.” Feeling uncomfortable, Elena got off at the very next stop. The next thing she knew, she was kneeling on the ground bleeding from her mouth – her two front teeth, gone. Elena states that she spent the next two days recovering in the hospital. A police report was made at the time of the supposed incident, but according to Elena, it took weeks for her memory to return – and even then, she couldn’t remember the man following her off the bus or the attack.…

BART Officer Breaks Window With A Drunk’s Face

November 24, 2009 at 11:26 am by  

San Francisco – Speaking of crazy fuckers in subways. Check out this raw video from the Bay Area Rapid Transit station Saturday evening when an officer slams an unruly, drunk asshole’s face through some glass. I know it was accidental, but it looks badass.

San Francisco, California – In what has come to a shock to everyone, gunfire erupted at a hip hop concert. Nine people where shot outside of San Francisco’s Regency Ballroom Sunday night after leaving the sold out “House of Soul” concert put on by the hop and R&B radio station KMEL. Two groups got into a fist fight that escalated to one or more individuals breaking out the firearms and wounding nine people in the crowd. All are expected to live, but the shooter has not been apprehended or identified. I doubt police are getting much help from witnesses as I am sure no one saw anything. Interesting promo poster, though. Prophetic, even. Ya know, I liked concerts better when they simply ended with Christians handing out pamphlets. I’ve never had as much fun spitting as I did back then.…

Review: Pig Hunt

September 24, 2009 at 8:56 pm by  

John’s uncle passed away recently, leaving him with a large chunk of land that him and his friends plan to use for a few days of camping and pig hunting. But their weekend of booze, boar and guns gets ruined rather quickly – and not just because John tainted the testosterone-laden circle jerk by bringing his hot girlfriend along with them. The further they get into the woods in hunt of their elusive prey, they find that there are a lot of really strange things in these neck of the woods. Along with the unpredictable, country-fried Tibbs brothers the hunting party also run into mutilated emus, homicidal rednecks, marijuana fields, naked Hippie Cult Girls with their machete wielding leader, and the local legend -a 3000 lb, man-eating black boar named The Ripper. Check out the trailer and my thoughts after the jump…

William Pious Likes To Cook

September 11, 2009 at 9:10 am by  

San Francisco, CA – I was in the kitchen a few days ago frying up a batch of chicken. Being somewhat accident prone, I fear the kitchen. I mean, that’s where I keep all the stabby stuff and other implements of pain. (ie: hot stuff, poisonous stuff that makes your eyes burn and nose run, heavy slippery stuff labeled ‘vegetables’ that inevitably end up squashing toes, etc.). Anyway, as my breasts were turning a delicious golden brown, I lifted the lid to check for done-ness and shit started popping. Hot oil was flying everywhere – I couldn’t escape. A teaspoon sized oil blop came my way and splattered all over my foot. I’m sure the scream could be heard for miles and the crying lasted for hours. Blisters instantly formed and the damn thing still hurts. That’s just one itty, bitty part of my body – I couldn’t imagine having that kind of pain spread out. To imagine 30% of my body burned and blistered by hot cooking oil is terrifying.…

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