VeggiesLos Angeles, CA — A 59-year-old woman was charged with murder Thursday after allegedly beating her boyfriend to death with an assortment of canned vegetables.

According to authorities, Linda Clarene Jackson bludgeoned her boyfriend, 59-year-old David Ruiz, in the head, while he was in her home earlier this week.

Jackson allegedly used a can of peas, a can of carrots and a can of chicken broth in the attack, claims Ricardo Santiago, a spokesman for the LA County DA. Ruiz died as a result.

Jackson’s motive, aside from being pissed the hell off, apparently, is unclear at this point.

Jackson’s scheduled arraignment on Thursday was postponed to Friday when she experienced a medical emergency, Santiago said. It is expected that her bond will be set at a hefty $1 million.

If convicted, she’s looking at life behind bars.…

Los Angeles, CA – Yongda Huang Harris, 28, was detained and arrested at LAX airport on Friday after customs officials found a cache of weapons and gear in his checked baggage and on his body that might come in handy in say, I dunno, a horrific attack?

Harris is a naturalized U.S. citizen of Chinese descent.  He makes his permanent home in Boston, though he has been living in Japan.  Last week, he was traveling from Kansai, Japan to Los Angeles via Inchon, Korea.  It is believed that his final destination was Boston, but considering what he was carrying, who knows?

Harris was singled out by a customs agent for a secondary inspection based upon the fact that he was wearing a bulletproof vest.  When asked if he had anything to declare, Harris mentioned that he had a knife.  Full inspection of the bag revealed a smoke grenade capable of filling a 40,000 cubic foot space with smoke, four leather-coated blackjack billy-clubs, a collapsible baton, a full-face respirator, several knifes, a hatchet, body bags, a tyvex biohazard suit, various masks, duct tape, hand cuffs, leg irons, flex cuffs, oven mitts and cooking tongs.…

Los Angeles – I would have used one our really lame headlines like “THE DEL TACO MASSACRE!” like we usually do with stories like this, but CBS news beat me to it. The massacre they are referring to happened on Saturday afternoon when Jimmy Schlager walked inside a California Del Taco and opened fire on his 29-year-old stepdaughter and her family. Schlager murdered her husband, Alex Trujillo, and her 6-year-old son Adrian. He shot her 10 times and her other 5-year-old son twice but miraculously, they are both currently alive. They have undergone surgery at the hospital where their conditions have improved. No motive for the attack has been reported yet, and Schlager isn’t saying much these days as he died hours after turning the gun on himself. What is being reported is that Schlager was married to the victim’s mother at one time, but she had died several years ago. Schlager has a criminal record consisting of assault with a deadly weapon and a restraining order, but without knowing the details of those charges they hardly hint at someone being able to murder children while they eat a friggin’ burrito.…

whisperswing posted a story in the forums about LA investigators needing some help identifying the naked body of a woman that was found lying on the freeway. Police say that she was thrown from a moving vehicle and currently do not know if she was killed and then dumped onto the freeway, or if she died as a result of being thrown out of a vehicle. She has a tattoo on the middle of her upper back with the names “Kenaya,” “Faith” and “Morgan” surrounded by stars. Source – KTLA

Los Angeles, CA – After being convicted of killing 12-year-old Robin Samsoe in 1979, Rodney James Alcala was twice sentenced to death. Both convictions were eventually overturned. The first conviction in 1980 was overturned because the court ruled that his past crimes — a 1972 conviction of raping and beating an 8-year-old girl and a 15-year-old girl, plus the molesting of another child — were improperly allowed. Then in 2001, the second conviction was overturned on grounds that Alcala’s lawyers should have been allowed to introduce a psychologist’s testimony casting doubt on a witness’ claim of amnesia and that his attorney did not present alibi witnesses. Now Alcala is back for a third shot at the needle. This time authorities have added four other murders to his repertoire. Alcala’s DNA has been identified in the murders of Jill Barcomb, 18; Georgia Wixted, 27; Charlotte Lamb, 32; and Jill Parenteau, 21. These women were murdered, sexually assaulted, beaten and strangled between 1977 and 1979.…

Woman To Doctor: ‘My Vagina Is Falling Out’

November 9, 2009 at 3:00 am by  

Kenmore, Washington – Ever read a headline that just makes you read the article attached to it even though you just know it isn’t a real good idea? Yeah, this story was mine. I had just enjoyed some Dragon Age and was eating a ham sandwich when I cam across an article about a woman whose insides were falling out of her through her vagina. Normally a story like that is one where I read it, gag, tell my co-workers about it and then try to scrub it out of my brain. But in this case the woman, 39-year-old Allison Henry, is being very candid about her medical condition and goes into full detail of what happened to her in hopes that she can help other women. The link to the full article is after the jump, but fellas, it includes things like this: “I was referred to a pelvic floor specialist. She took a look and said, ‘Holy crap — your vagina is falling out of your body, and it’s dragging your bladder and your rectum along with it!

Jeffrey Graybill Wants Your Man Juice

October 7, 2009 at 3:31 am by  

Phoenix, AZ – A word of warning to all of my Demon friends that possess a peter – please, take a minute to study the mugshot attached to this story. If you, or any of your manly body parts, have had any contact with the beastly oaf, authorities in Arizona and California would like to have a word with you. Furthermore, if you allowed this man to give you a thorough physical and make off with a smidgen of your semen in the hopes of getting some cash, well, you’re screwed! (Literally and figuratively). The man’s name is Jeffrey Graybill, but those who have been screwed may know him as Dr. Robert Richardson. Graybill allegedly set up an ad on Craigslist offering to pay Caucasian and Latino suckers men between the ages of 18 – 25 as much as $4,000 to be sperm donors for stem cell and/or other research. And wouldn’t you know it? He got ’em to bite – hook, line, and sinker. …

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