Denver, CO — It’s my day off and I promised not to write anything today and enjoy some time away from the computer. But after reading Jaded’s testicle torture story, I figured I would wash some of that imagery out of my head with an update on a story less heinous, but as equally disgusting. Plus, it includes a hilarious artist’s rendering of the crime to go with it.

The other day I posted a story about a man who was caught hiding in the tank of a portable toilet at the Hanuman Yoga Festival. The unidentified man was able to get away, probably because he was covered in feces, but tips from witnesses lead police straight to 30-year-old Luke Irvin Chrisco, aka Skye Oryan (Facebook).

He had gotten himself in trouble earlier in the day while panhandling at a gas station, and he matched the description of the man in the portable toilet. Chrisco is now being held for investigation of unlawful sexual contact and criminal invasion of privacy and will remain in jail until he is able to post his bonds, which total around $2500.…

Denver, CO — If you are the the feces-covered man who got busted hiding in the tank of a portable toilet at the Hanuman Yoga festival, police would like to have a word with you.

A woman using the toilet at the festival got a surprise when she lifted the lid and noticed something moving around in the tank. She quickly exited and asked a man nearby to investigate. He did, and reported seeing a man in the tank covered with a tarp.

Security was summoned and they waited outside the toilet for a few minutes before He Who Walks Amongst The Turds finally exited. He was described as a very tall man in his 20s, barefoot, shirtless and covered in shit. They tried to detain him, but he was able to get away.

One witness told police he believed the man was a transient who goes by the name of “Sky”

Boulder police are not sure exactly what the man was doing down there, but he will be charged with criminal attempt to make unlawful sexual contact once they find him. …

Aurora, Colorado — A mother has been charged with child abuse after police say she was on Facebook blissfully unaware her 22-month-old daughter’s head had just been crushed by a van in their apartment’s parking lot.

Karen Pena, 30, told investigators that she told her toddler, Laniece Fletcher, to go outside and play in their yard while she chatted away on Facebook doing whatever dumb shit people do all day on Facebook.

Her daughter ended up wandering into the parking lot and was accidentally struck by a van which takes disabled children to a local hospital. Fletcher was rushed to the hospital where she died the next day of skull fracture.

Investigators would find there was no wonder the girl wandered out of the yard she was instructed to play in as it contained a broken gate, a can of lighter fluid and a paddling pool with five inches of water in it. The only thing the yard needed to complete its death trap motif would have been a registered sex offender and a pack of pissed-off pit bulls.…

FORT COLLINS, Colo. — Police said Nathan Engle, 24, died on Monday after he was punched in the face by 24-year-old Terance Dejuan Wilson at about 1:40 a.m. Saturday.

Engle’s uncle was with him when it happened and says there was no confrontation between his nephew and Wilson – his nephew just happened to walk between Wilson and another man. When he did, Wilson turned and delivered a sucker punch to Engle’s face causing him to fall and strike his head on the pavement.

Engle, the father of three children, would last two days before dying from blunt force head injuries. Wilson was initially charged with assault, but the charges will more than likely be upgraded now that the coroner has determined Engle’s death was a homicide.

Wilson is no stranger to police, having past convictions for harassment, false imprisonment, assault, resisting arrest and vandalism. If convicted for Engle’s death, this will be Wilson’s fourth stint in prison. He served one year for check forgery in 2007, one year for attempted escape in 2006, and two years for attempted robbery in 2003.…

DENVER, CO — Police need your helping finding the man accused of abducting an 8-year-old girl last Thursday then sexually assaulting her before dropping her off at a gas station.

The girl was with her 11-year-old friend trying to catch a chihuahua that had gotten loose from its yard. They chased the dog into an alley where they met a man in a white van. He called the kids over to help him put something in a dumpster, but ended up throwing the girl into the van instead before reversing out of the alley.

Her friend ran away and notified his babysitter what had happened who then notified police. For almost two hours there were no signs of the girl until she was dropped off at a gas station three miles from where she had been taken. At first the news reports were that she had been released unharmed, but on Friday it was revealed that this was not the case. In the time the man had the girl, he had sexually assaulted her.…

WESTMINSTER, Colo. — Here’s a story that plays out like a scene from a horror movie. A man breaks into a home while a mother and son cower in a closet, the entire incident captured on a 911 call.

Teresa Middleton was outside of her home when she noticed a suspicious man staring at her from across the street. She felt uneasy so she went inside and locked her front fddoor. Shortly after, the man was trying to kick in that door. Middleton grabbed her teenage son and retreated into a closet inside a second floor bedroom. She then called 911.

You can listen to the call by clicking here, but if for some reason you cannot play the file, here’s a transcript from

“He’s getting in now! …Hurry! Hurry, he’s getting in,” the woman said on the 911 tape.
“Ma’am, we’ve dispatched officers,” the dispatcher said. “I’m just keeping you on the phone, OK?”
The woman relayed to the dispatcher as the man kicked in the garage door.

CASTLE ROCK, Colo. — Continuing the trend of Xtreme late-term abortions, a mother in Colorado is facing murder charges after being accused of killing her two children before attempting to kill herself. No real shocker that she failed at that last part.

Kelli Lynn Murphy, 41, called 911 Monday morning to report that she was going to kill herself. When the dispatcher asked whether there were any children in the home, Murphy replied: “They are in heaven.” Ruh-roh.

Police in the area arrived within minutes and once inside the home they found the dead bodies of 9-year-old Liam and his sister, 6-year-old Madigan, inside their bedrooms. Murphy was suffering from self-inflicted injuries to her wrists.

On Sunday, a welfare check had been performed at the home at the request of the husband, but no one is reporting what happened during the visit aside from Castle Rock Police Chief Tony Lane saying it “related to this.” How Liam and Madigan died has not been released, but Lane stated they showed no signs of physical injuries.…

COLORADO SPRINGS, CO — Some breaking news out of  Colorado where a police officer arrested on child pornograpy charges earlier this month has been re-arrested and charged with sexually assaulting students at the school where he worked as the resource officer.

Police say Joshua Carrier, 30, was arrested last week after an investigation in March that started when the department’s Internet Crimes Against Children Unit received information that Carrier may have purchased child pornography online. On Thursday, Carrier was rearrested after police gathered more evidence suggesting that Carrier had unlawful sexual contact with multiple minor children.

During a news conference it was revealed that several male students on the Horace Mann Middle School wrestling team accused Carrier, the school resource officer and wrestling coach, of inappropriately touching their private areas at school when he told them he was checking for ringworm.

This pleases the mother of one of the alleged victims. “It feels great to know that my son and all these other children will have their day in court and justice and they will be able to see this man put behind bars,” she said, adding that it was safe for other possible victims to come forward.…

Grand Junction, CO – When she’s not out sweeping beauty pageants with her classic good looks and charm, 39 year-old Dianeth Pittman enjoys (allegedly) beating the tar out of her 4 year-old daughter.

When first questioned, Pittman apparently stated that another child had struck her daughter with a ‘Barbie barbecue pit’, which I’m surprised to learn is actually a thing that exists. I wonder how PETA feels about this…

Apparently, though, Pittman changed her tune Thursday and stated she had tripped her daughter after a telephone conversation with her husband left her angry. The child fell, she said, and was injured as she hit a kitchen counter on the way down.

The child, however, told someone that it didn’t end there. Pittman allegedly picked the child up by the arms and bounced her skull off the wall a few times. According to court papers, a pediatrician who examined the girl stated she was ‘at substantial risk of disfigurement’ and ‘substantial risk of death.’ Before the May 4th incident, the girl also stated Pittman branded her with a hot knife on at least one occasion and threatened to do so again is she acted up or told anyone.…

DENVER — A mother is facing child abuse charges after video surfaced of her encouraging her teen daughter as she was fighting her alleged bully.

Maria Plazola says the fight was the only resource they had left in an attempt to stop the bullying her daughter, Vanessa Casillas, has endured for the last two years. The fight that got Plazola in legal trouble was actually the second fight involving Casilla caught on video and then posted on-line.

The first fight happened earlier when her daughter and her bully arranged to trade blows at a local park, but the bully ended up sending a friend instead. The friend was much bigger than Casillas, as you can see in the following video, but Casillas didn’t back down and scrapped with the girl anyway — and lost.

But after the fight was posted online, the girl that was supposed to fight Casillas began calling her and demanding a fight that she promised she would actually show up to. So Casilla, showing a set of cojones larger than most men I know, met the girl at the park and entered into a second brawl in front of 20 Montbello students as well as Plazola, who can be heard in the video telling her daughter to “Beat her up!…

Aurora, CO  – Aurora Police Officer Michael Mangino has a lot of explaining to do.  The resource officer for several Aurora schools gets to tell a judge why he took butt shots of a girl in his elementary school DARE class, why he had videos of himself doing the nasty in his patrol car, and why he made underage girls he arrested take naughty pictures of themselves with his cell phone.

Officer Mangino, 50, was busted this week after a fifteen-year-old runaway from California filed a complaint alleging “inappropriate conduct”.   Mangino apparently arrested the girl, and then coerced her into sending him naked pictures of herself – some of which he apparently stored on his cell phone.  Um, really, Officer Mangino?   You make girls put underage porn on your cell phone?  That’s just… not intelligent.

Mangino allegedly told the runaway teen that he “has all the girls he arrests take photos for him”, according to police affidavit reports.  Probably also not the brightest move in the world.  But since Mangino is the second Aurora school resource officer to be arrested since December, I’m guessing they’re scraping the bottom of the barrel for cops already.…

Colorado Springs, CO – Did you think it was suspicious that it took Casey Anthony three months to finally report her daughter missing? What about a couple who never informed authorities that their two adopted sons went missing in 2001 and 2003? That’s not suspicious AT ALL, is it?

A search for two boys who haven’t been seen for as long as ten years has been launched in Colorado. On January 22nd, the El Paso County Sheriff’s Office received a report about a suspicious incident regarding the disappearance of Austin Bryant. When police went to investigate, they found that Austin was indeed missing and hadn’t been seen since  sometime between 2003 and 2005. He was 7 years old in 2003. As investigators continued their work, they discovered that a second child–Edward Dylan Bryant–also had been missing for quite some time. He disappeared in 2001, at the age of 9.

Here’s the real kicker… adoptive parents Edward and Linda Bryant never reported either of the children missing. I am immediately thinking the worst in this situation and hoping this new media attention will shed some light on what happened to Austin and Edward.…

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