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Andrew KentTEMPE, AZ – Andrew Kent is facing assault charges after the 21-year-old jackass tossed vodka into a bonfire at an Arizona State University frat party, severely burning two teenage girls.

One of the victims is a 17-year-old high school student from California who was at ASU on a recruiting trip, the other is an 18-year-old female ASU student. Both girls were invited to a party at a fraternity house located off campus.

According to Tempe Sgt. Michael Pooley, the party had been going on since Friday and there were about 300 people present and a lot of underage drinking going on.

According to witnesses, the teen was standing next to a a bonfire when Kent, a junior at ASU and a member of the Sigma Phi Epsilon fraternity, threw a vodka bottle into a bonfire. The resulting explosion set the two teen girls on fire.

Both teens suffered 2nd and 3rd degree burns as a result. The 17-year-old sustained severe burns to her legs, while the 18-year-old sustained serious burns from the back of her shoulder to the back of her legs.…

Victoria SolizMESA, AZ – A woman accused of trying to drown her 3-year-old in a puddle says on the day of the incident, she was just following the orders of Jesus Christ.

According to court documents, a man called police to report he was investigating a child screaming when he saw 30-year-old Victoria Soliz on her knees pushing a toddler’s face into a puddle in is front yard. The man told police he told Soliz to stop, but she just moved to a larger puddle and shoved the child’s face in it several more times. She then started giving the toddler what appeared to be CPR.

When officers arrived on the scene, they found the Soliz’s 3-year-old shivering from the cold and wearing water-soaked clothing. Soliz was taken into custody while her son was taken to the hospital to receive medical treatment.

While in custody, Soliz was also taken to the hospital where she told doctors she’d been using meth to self-treat her schizophrenia, but that it was “Jesus” that told her to “drown” her son.…

Jason LondonScottsdale, AZ — Jason London, the actor best known for his role as Randall “Pink” Floyd in DAZED AND CONFUSED, was arrested after getting his ass kicked by some bouncers at an Arizona club, and produced one of the most hilarious celebrity mugshots I have seen since Nick Nolte’s. He also allegedly shit his pants on purpose, but we’ll get to that in a second.

The 40-year-old was with his wife at the Martini Ranch nightclub in Scottsdale, Arizona when he reportedly sneezed on a bouncer. When the bouncer asked for an apology, London punched the man in the face.

This led to London being ejected from the club and getting his face rearranged in the process. When police arrived, London became even more belligerent and shoved one of the paramedics who had arrived to treat him.

London then had some choice words for the police when they arrested him for disorderly conduct and assault. “Guess what faggot? I fucking love this. I fucking own you guys so hard,” London reportedly yelled at the officers.…

Woman Arrested After Son Is Found Zip-Tied To Pole

January 28, 2013 at 3:20 am by  

Jaica RowleyMesa, AZ — Jaica Rowley, 36, was arrested on charges of child abuse last week after police say she zip-tied her 11-year-old son to a pole in the backyard so she could run errands.

Police responded to Rowley’s home after a neighbor called authorities to report what sounded like a boy being hit by a woman.

When police arrived at the home, they found the child sitting with his arms and legs around a porch support post with his hands and feet zip-tied together. Officers saw some blood on the boy’s hand and on the porch.

“The zip ties were too tight, and he was complaining,” said police spokesman Detective Steve Berry. “Through using scissors, or something like that, to cut them off, she managed to cut his finger as well.  That didn’t apparently stop her from re-zip tying him to the pole.”

Rowley told the officers that while she was tying the kid up, he began complaining that the zip-tie was too tight. Compassionate woman that she is, she cut it off to relieve the pain, accidentally cutting his pinky finger in the process.…

NoNookieChandler, AZ — A sexually frustrated woman was taken into custody Sunday after allegedly threatening to kill her husband because he wouldn’t give her any nookie.

Gloria Pratt, 53, reportedly called police to complain that she and her husband of two years were no longer having sex and she was upset, dammit.

When police arrived at the home that evening, they met with an allegedly intoxicated Pratt, who repeated the complaint. I’m guessing she didn’t explain the reasoning behind the man’s refusal to give her dick.

It was quite apparent that a crime had not been committed by either party, so the officers wished the couple good luck and left the home.

About a minute later, the responding officers glanced at the couple’s living room window and witnessed Pratt screaming “do something!” at her husband as he reclined on the couch.

According to police, Pratt then yelled, “I’m going to kill you!” before walking off to the kitchen. You know, where the pointy and poisony shit is stored….

The officers then had reason to arrest Pratt – they knocked on the couple’s door and detained her.…

Jodi AriasPhoenix, AZ — Jodi Arias is currently on trial, facing the death penalty after brutally murdering Travis Alexander, her one-time boyfriend. Everybody seems to be fascinated with this case, mainly because of the woman accused. She’s easy to hate, admittedly, but I’m not writing this because of her, but because of Nancy Grace. I’ll get to that in a second.

Arias, 32, met Alexander at a work conference six years ago. Arias claims that the two were madly in love, but Alexander’s friends and family say the man tried to break of the relationship after only a few months of dating, stating Arias was too jealous and not marriage material. In the months after the break-up, Arias allegedly began stalking Alexander and, according to his family, slit his tires and sneaked into his house.

In 2008, Alexander was found dead in his shower. He had been stabbed 27 times, had his throat slit, and had been shot in the head. Arias professed her innocence claiming she was not in the house at the time Alexander was killed, adding there was no way she could have murdered Alexander.…

Phoenix, AZ — An Arizona mother of five has been charged with child abuse after she took her 6-year-old daughter to a McDonald’s for ice cream, and then abandoned her there.

Police say 23-year-old Lucy Parra took her daughter, Everlyn, to a Mcdonald’s Wednesday evening so the girl could go in and purchase an ice cream. When the girl returned to the parking lot, she could not find her mother and her mother’s car was nowhere to be found.

McDonald’s employees say the girl was visibly upset over having been abandoned and that they ended up calling police after 15 minutes of searching for Parra. While waiting for police, McDonald’s employees said they fed the girl in the office and tried comforting her. “She was really hungry. She said she had not ate all day since school lunch,” the employee said.

Officers were still on the scene when Parra came back to the restaurant 40 minutes later. Employees say she appeared intoxicated, claiming she never left the parking lot. The employee says that’s bullshit, as there were only four cars in the lot when they were out looking for her.…

GILBERT, AZ – A woman in Arizona was so angry over Obama winning the presidential elections that she ran down her husband with her vehicle after an argument over his not voting.

According to the police report, 28-year-old Holly Solomon got into an argument with her husband regarding Barack Obama winning a second term.  Holly feels that Obama is the blame for her family’s ills, and is now looking at four more years of struggling.

Aside from blaming all of those who voted him in, she also blamed the people who did not vote at all; her husband included. Witnesses say the couple had been yelling at each other as they sat inside a Jeep SUV, but when Daniel got out of the vehicle, Holly lost her goddamn marbles.

“He got out of the car and she was screaming at him. And he started walking away and she started driving in circles around him and she wouldn’t let him go so finally he took off to try to get away and she ran into him,” a caller told a 911 dispatcher.…

Mesa, AZ – Derrick Doba, a certified public accountant, had his laptop stolen out of his office on September 14th while his wife was performing an unattended backup to an online service.

When he heard the door to the office open, he assumed it was his babelicious wife, Christiana, so he didn’t investigate.  However, about ten minutes later, she came in and asked where her computer was.  That’s when he realized that the sound he’d heard a few minutes prior had not been her, but a thief.

The Dobas filed a police report, but began an investigation of their own.  It just so happens that they had installed remote control software on that laptop which would allow them to log in and control the machine from any other computer.  When Mr. Dobas initiated a remote control session, he discovered that someone was actually using the stolen computer at that time.

“The other individual on the other end didn’t really know what was happening and we started fighting over control of the cursor,” he said. …

Mesa, AZ – Laurie Lee Kelly, 43, is facing charges of child abuse after buying beer for two transients in exchange for their babysitting services while she went on a mission for anonymous sex.

Kelly, the ravishing natural blonde to the left, who is employed as an instructional assistant at Whitman Elementary in the Mesa Public School District, purchased some beer on Tuesday for two transients and asked that they watch her six-year-old daughter while she “went to make money.”

She did not know her new employees previously, but it’s probably a good bet that alcohol will make just about anybody a better caretaker, so kudos to her for thinking on her feet.

Kelly was gone for approximately four hours, leaving her daughter in the extreme Arizona heat without food or water, while she reportedly had sex with a couple of men.

“She left her kid with total strangers,” witness Ronald Baker said. “I’m glad that we’re honest and protective.”

“She’s beautiful. She was fun. We ran around the park. She’s a wonderful child,” witness Maureen Wilson told CBS 5 on Thursday.…

Tampa, FL – Jonathan Lane, 33, was arrested by Tampa police in July after he allegedly took a flight from Arizona for a sexual rendezvous with a physically-disabled 14-year-old girl.

Lane’s relationship with the girl reportedly began in June 2011 and quickly escalated when Lane began e-mailing her sexual explicit, vomit-inducing nude pictures of himself.

Lane then allegedly told the girl that he wanted to travel to her home to have sex with her.  This apparently was a-okay with her as she agreed to use her grandmother’s credit card to pay for his plane ticket.  Can you imagine stealing from your grandmother for a go at this loser’s schween?  I pray your answer is a resounding ‘no.’

As luck would have it, the girl’s father discovered e-mail correspondence between the two prior to Lane’s arrival.  He alerted Tampa police to the plan, and Lane was arrested upon his arrival.

Police report that Lane was fully aware of the girl’s age, that she was in a wheelchair, and that he had made his true intentions abundantly clear prior to leaving Arizona.…

Phoenix, AZ – Rebekah Mellon, 31, was arrested on July 31st in the shooting death of her husband, 46-year-old Donald Mellon Jr.  He was pronounced dead at the hospital, and now reports indicate that there is actual video of the murder taking place.  She is currently facing first-degree murder charges with bond set at $1 million, $1 million less than what prosecutors were suggesting.

There are a great number of things we don’t know about the relationship between Rebekah Mellon and her husband.  What we do know is that they are no strangers to domestic violence, although their previous incidents never resulted in any arrests.  Court documents also indicate that there is evidence that Ms. Mellon is an alcoholic.

Police responding to a 911 call of a domestic disturbance reportedly had to kick the door of the Mellon residence in to obtain entry at around 10 PM on the night of the shooting.  When they entered the house, they say they found Ms. Mellon sitting on the couch with a handgun beside her, wedged between the cushions. …


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