Chicago, IL – Morning jogger Joseph Finley, 62, was reportedly left in critical condition after being bitten by two pit bulls over his entire body – including his legs, arms and face – police said.

The dogs, described by Chicago officials as unneutered adult males each weighing approximately 70 pounds, were reported to have attacked Finley on a popular south side Chicago jogging trail. One of the dogs was described as being chocolate brown in color and the other was described as being white with dark spots. The dogs were said to have had matching two-inch nylon collars.

Neighbor Stanley Lee opened an apartment window and heard Finley’s screams for help. When he looked out, he says he saw the two pit bulls attacking Finley.

“He was saying, ‘Help me, help me,’” Lee said. Lee grabbed a baseball bat and ran outside to try to chase the dogs away from the jogger. He said he hit the dogs repeatedly with the bat, but they would not release the man or stop their attack.…

Woman Scalped After Being Attacked By Two Pit Bulls

December 7, 2011 at 10:40 am by  

PUEBLO, Colo. — A woman in Colorado is in the hospital recovering after a pair of  pit bulls gave her a haircut.

The 60-year-old woman walking down the road Monday morning when she passed a house where two pit bulls resided. The two dogs chased after the woman after the male dog broke from his chain and the female escaped from her pen.

The woman was dragged for 15 feet by her hair and in the process of being mauled to death when a delivery driver showed up and stopped the attack. When the ambulance arrived, they found the woman’s scalp had become completely detached, and was lying on the ground. She was airlifted to the hospital along with her new wig where she’ll undergo several surgeries to repair the damage done to her head.

Police found the two dogs by following their footprints and had to use their mace when the dogs turned on them. The owner of the animals, Paul Rodriguez, was issued a summons and complaint for two counts of unlawful ownership of a dangerous dog.…

Pit Bull Advocate Killed By Her Pit Bull

August 15, 2011 at 4:26 pm by  

PACIFICA, CA — Police say a pregnant woman was mauled to death by the family pit bull inside her home on Thursday.

Her husband, Greg Napora, says the last time he saw 32-year-old Darla Napora was when he was leaving for work. She was sleeping in the bed with their two pit bulls — Gunner, a 2-year-old male and Tazi, a 6-year-old female.

When he returned home at around 12, he found Darla laying on the ground covered in blood with Gunner, also covered in blood, hovering near her body. Napora called 911 and wrestled Gunner into the backyard, receiving some hand injuries in the process. Paramedics tried to save Darla, but she died on the scene.

One neighbor described a horrific scene.

“He was in the driveway all frantic, yelling,” said Carlson, who lives across from the couple. “He had blood on his hands, blood on his shirt and blood down his pants.”

While paramedics tried to save Darla’s life, Gunner escaped from the backyard. When he approached them, police shot him multiple times, killing him.…

Alaska –– While I don’t know how I will die, I do know ways I won’t. Stories like the following are why I know I will never be mauled to a death by a grizzly while camping in Alaska.

Seven teens, ages 16 to 18, were on day 24 of a 30-day backpacking course in the Talkeetna mountains when they met a grizzly and her cub and well, things didn’t go so good. The group were participating in a National Outdoor Leadership School course that teaches students to be outdoor leaders with the experience and background to survive in the back country, with the ability to take others out into the Alaskan wilderness upon graduation.

Part of that training includes how to alert local wildlife, including bears, of their presence to give animals a chance to flee. The students said they did this as they crossed a river and came face-to-face with the bear and her cub, but this bear wasn’t going anywhere without taking a few faces with it. …

Guatemala City, Guatemala — Divine intervention is being credited for saving the life of Paul Oakey, a 20-year-old Mormon Missionary stationed in Guatemale.  This after he was attacked by evil zoo lions.  Let’s hope that someone is now praying he doesn’t repeat the galactically stupid behavior that got him into that mess.

While making the rounds at a Guatemalan Zoo, Oakey reportedly thought that a photo of him standing on top of the 6-foot tall wall surrounding the lion exhibit would make a pretty cool picture.  So he made what his father, Alan Oakey, described as a “judgement call” and climbed on up.  Awww heck [God forgive me], there was an inner cage.  What was the point of even having the cement wall?

“When Elder Oakey turned his back to the lions, they crept up on him,” Alan Oakey said.  A Mormon on a mission is an “elder” – even to his dad.

One lion reportedly reached through the cage and grabbed the missionary’s right leg, causing him to fall back against the cage.…

PUTNAM LAKE, N.Y. — We have a lot of suicide stories on D’D, but none that I recall were a suicide by snake. But some unanswered questions surrounding the death of a woman found dead in her home after succumbing to the poison from one of the most deadliest snakes in the world, has some close to the victim feeling she may have allowed herself to be bitten.

Aleta Stacey, 56, was a snake lover who kept 75 snakes in the home she shared with her boyfriend. One of these snakes was the extremely deadly Black Mamba, reportedly the fastest venomous snakes in the world that also delivers a bite with a mortality rate of 100% if not treated immediately with antivenom. Typically, a bite from one of these bastards means you have about 20 agonizing minutes to make sure your corpse is found wearing clean underwear.

On Tuesday, Stacey’s boyfriend found her dead in their bedroom. She had snake bites on her arm and the Black Mamba was loose from its enclosure that was usually secured with a padlock.…

KANSAS CITY, MO. — You guys remember that story we did earlier this year about the infant who lost seven fingers after a ferret chewed them off? Well now the parents of that kid have been charged with with felony child endangerment.

For those of you didn’t read about it, police were called to the home of Ryan and Carrie Waldo after receiving a call that their 4-month old had been attacked by the family’s pet ferret.

They told responding officers that while Ryan was asleep in his bed, and Carrie was asleep in a nearby chair, the ferret got into where the boy was sleeping and started chewing off all his fingers. By the time the couple heard their son’s cries, he only had three fingers left; two thumbs and a pinkie.

I had hoped that this was just a case of an animal getting loose in the house…hell, we’ve seen it here recently with a pair of raccoons. But this time it was worse than an infant being attacked by a loose animal while the parents slept.…

Palatka, FL — Roy McSweeney, a 74-year-old Florida man, was left in critical condition after his neighbor’s two dogs jumped the fence separating his property from hers and brutally attacked him in his own front yard.

“He was in his yard doing yard work when the dogs jumped over the fence and attacked him,” Putnam County Sheriff’s Capt. Johnny Greenwood said, adding that the fence was thin wire.

McSweeney had his right arm completely torn off by the dogs and his left arm shredded.  The dogs also reportedly mauled his face.  It was reported that McSweeney was rushed to a nearby hospital where he underwent hours of surgery trying to save his left arm.  He is currently on life support and friends and family are questioning if he can survive.

The animals, owned by neighbor Deanna Blitch, have been euthanized and their dead carcasses are being tested for rabies. Police described the dogs as being – brace yourselves – pit bulls or pit bull mixes.

No charges have been filed against the dogs’ owner.…

Angry Beaver Attacks Three Near Philly

June 6, 2011 at 4:19 am by  

Philadelphia, PA — Officials in Pennsylvania have reported that a beaver accused of attacking three people in the Pennypack Creek area last week has tested positive for rabies.

The first of two alleged attacks occurred on June 1 as a man and his wife were fishing. Authorities claim a large beaver first attacked the woman, biting her on the leg. When the husband tried to intervene, he was rewarded with a few puncture wounds to his chest and arms.

The very next day, a man and his child happened across a beaver doing whatever it is beavers do when they aren’t building dams and shit. The two reportedly observed the beaver for a minute before dad started poking at it with a fishing rod. The beaver apparently didn’t appreciate the unexpected invasion of it’s personal space and turned around and chomped down on the kid. Good thinking, dad…

The beaver blamed for both attacks was captured late Thursday evening and put down.

These attacks follow another reported beaver attack from back in April.…

Speedway, IN —  Authorities in Speedway received a call from a 24-year-old man (?) Thursday complaining he had been bitten by a kitty.

When police responded to the man’s desperate 911 call, the alleged attacker was still at the scene – tied to a tree.

The victim, identified as Craig Wyatt, told police he found the vicious little bastid hiding in a woodpile on his property. Wyatt said he grabbed hold of the kitten and, for whatever reason, tried to tie a string around it’s neck. The pussy, obviously one of those ‘no strings attached’ types, then allegedly lashed out, biting Wyatt on the thumb.

In his report, Officer Chris Helmer described the kitten as “very calm and nonaggressive unless it was provoked.” Furthermore, the kitten didn’t appear to be rabid, just unhappy at the prospect of being strangled.

One pussy was placed in a patrol car and removed from the scene, while the other was left with a puncture wound to the top and bottom of his wittle thumb.…

CLINTON, MD — Police had to shoot and kill an American Bull Dog the other morning after it jumped on a school bus and began attacking the children inside.

Prince George’s County police officials say the dog chased a kid onto the bus and began attacking him. When the kid ran off the bus, the bus driver did as well in an attempt to get the bulldog off of the boy. The kid ran back onto the bus only to have the dog follow him on again.

Some of the kids tried to push the dog away or kick him in the face. When a second kid ran off the bus, the dog followed and attack him. “I didn’t know what to do. I was running to the car, so I could get in, so I wouldn’t get bit, but he bit me,” said Mikhail.

By this time police and fire officials had arrived on the scene and the dog began attacking them. When the dog began attacking another kid who had just been dropped off at the bus stop, an officer pulled the dog away and shot it. …

Indianapolis, IN – A man trying to stop a pit bull from attacking a neighbor’s dog was accidentally shot and killed by his girlfriend.

This tragic story, another notable example of “no good deed goes unpunished,” began when 57-year-old Roosevelt Griffin heard a neighbor calling for help across the street as a pit bull viciously attacked her dog. Griffin ran over to help, along with his live-in girlfriend of 10 years, 49 year-old Carolyn Walker, who had also brought a gun.

While the couple were trying to stop the attack, the pit bull turned on Griffin. Walker took aim and tried to shoot the pit bull but tripped, accidentally shooting Griffin in the face. He would die a short time later at the hospital. Police have deemed the shooting an accident and do not plan on pressing any charges.

Friends and neighbors don’t blame Walker for Griffin’s death, but do blame the unknown owners of the pit bull that’s still on the loose. Griffin was described as a  good man who would do anything for anybody in the neighborhood and owned two pit bulls himself, probably explaining why he felt confident intervening in the first place.…

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