In The Mean Time...

Hey, wondering where we went? No worries, we are just changing format and conducting some testing before we flip the switch. For now, you can get all of our new stuff by clicking here.. We aren't quite ready to switch quite yet, but the end result will be a continuous flow of dark and often day-wrecking content from our regular authors as well as other members. It's a work in progress and we are still working on some design and function stuff, but the updated content is now coming through.

Sacramento, CA – I am not even ashamed to admit that I am very territorial when it comes to food – there are a few items in my house that you had better not even think about consuming. The punishment for snarfin’ down anything I have laid claim to (ice cream sandwiches, Goldfish crackers, pizza rolls, chocolate milk) is swift and severe and usually involves a spork. Which, in comparison to Chavonna Gough’s alleged brand of punishment, is actually pretty tame. When Chavonna surmised that her 16-year-old son ate the last pork chop, the bitch came unglued. First, without even thinking about all the starving kids over in Ethiopia and how much they might appreciate an omelette, Chavonna busted a couple of eggs over the kid’s head. Then she punched him in the face. She wasn’t done yet. She got her hands on a kitchen knife and chased the kid outta the house. Damn. Psycho much? The teen, who was taken into protective custody, is probably looking at years of therapy.…

Brandy Wellman Is A Real Bitch Of A Mother

September 25, 2009 at 9:10 am by  

Adrian, MI – What are the chances that we would be featuring two hambeasts hailing from Bizarro World on the same damn day? Pretty damn good. You may have already had the pleasure of meeting hambeast #1, Prisscilla Mechell – now let’s meet her kooky runner-up , 30-year-old Brandy Michelle Wellman. Brandy is in yo face this morning because she abandoned her pajama-clad 3-year-old daughter on the side of a busy highway in the middle of the night and claimed to authorities that “maybe she had been kidnapped from her bed.” Oh for the love of fucking ice cream sandwiches, why? …

Walking Stick +1 James Bondsteel 0

September 25, 2009 at 8:31 am by  

LARIMER COUNTY – A little over a week ago, two sisters-in-law were out on a hike along Signal Mountain Trail near the Comanche Peak Wilderness Area. As they were walking, A man wearing gray camouflage clothing and a face mask jumped out of the woods attacked them at knifepoint. “An assailant surprised them – jumped out from behind some trees and put a knife to one of the victim’s throats,Larimer County Sheriff Jim Alderden said at a news conference on Monday. “It was obvious from the statements that he made as well as from his actions that he intended on committing a sexual assault.” One of the women used her walking stick strike her friend’s attacker. When he turned on her, the other woman attacked him. The man then ran off. Roadblocks were set up and police began searching for the assailant reporting they had a person of interest that night. That person has now been arrested and identified as 38-year-old James Jud Bondsteel of Loveland.…

Oh No You Didn’t!

September 25, 2009 at 7:50 am by  

STAMFORD, Connecticut – I’m only posting this because it has a 6-panel mugshot. The actual crime wasn’t too bad I guess. Not condoning it or anything, but the visual in my head is kinda funny. On Wednesday night, people were singing karaoke at Bobby Valentine’s Restaurant. Six women started making negative remarks about a 25-year-old woman and her singing ability. One thing led to another and the woman ended up with a chipped tooth and bruises when the six women kicked, punched and pulled her hair before leaving. The women arrested were charged with assault, conspiracy to commit assault and breach of peace. Pics after the jump. …

Waco, TX – Prisscilla Mechell, 25-year-old wife and mother, had everyone believing she was going to squish out a kid any day. Actually, she was supposed to make that happen last Monday morning, after telling her family that she was scheduled to have labor induced. Oh, happiness and joy! One problem. Prisscilla miscarried about 4 months ago. Ut-oh! Her husband, daughter, family, and friends are all expecting to see a shiny new baby and Prisscilla couldn’t very well just conjure up an infant. Or could she? As luck would have it, a friend of hers had just given birth to a bouncing baby boy just a week ago – maybe she could just borrow that one, or something. …

Review: Pig Hunt

September 24, 2009 at 8:56 pm by  

John’s uncle passed away recently, leaving him with a large chunk of land that him and his friends plan to use for a few days of camping and pig hunting. But their weekend of booze, boar and guns gets ruined rather quickly – and not just because John tainted the testosterone-laden circle jerk by bringing his hot girlfriend along with them. The further they get into the woods in hunt of their elusive prey, they find that there are a lot of really strange things in these neck of the woods. Along with the unpredictable, country-fried Tibbs brothers the hunting party also run into mutilated emus, homicidal rednecks, marijuana fields, naked Hippie Cult Girls with their machete wielding leader, and the local legend -a 3000 lb, man-eating black boar named The Ripper. Check out the trailer and my thoughts after the jump…

VACAVILLE, Calif.While still being called an accidental shooting, an 8-year-old boy picked up a firearm, pointed it at his little sister and shot her in the head, killing her. Vacaville police continue to investigate the incident, trying to determine if anyone should be charged with a crime.  “It ‘s a tragic case of a sibling who picked up a firearm, thinking it was a toy, pointed it as his sister and discharged one round from the firearm, striking her in the head,” said Vacaville Police Sgt. Charlie Spruill. Officers removed four rifles and two handguns from the house but would not state if any of them were locked in the gun safe that was in the house, as required by California law. Both parents were home at the time of the shooting. …

Dog Fighting Ring At Home Daycare

September 24, 2009 at 11:18 am by  

CHICAGO, Illinois – A dog with its eye ripped out, a dog with a leg twisted backward and a dog with its lower extremities nearly ripped off its body. That’s just a taste of what police found during a raid on a Chicago home daycare. Seems as if it wasn’t just children the owner’s were caring for. In a garage attached to the back of the house, dog-fighting equipment was located. In fact, when police arrived on Tuesday, they found “a very aggressive” pit bull in the garage, with blood on the floor and along the sides of a car. “Also in the garage were syringes, medication, bite sticks and harnesses used in dog fights,” the sheriff’s office said in a release. “The chest of the dog found in that garage was shredded from a recent fight and its penis was bitten almost completely off.” Some video after the jump, as well as a link to the full article which should piss you off. Not only for what was being done to the dogs, but the danger they placed the children and surrounding community in.…

Police: Dane White Breaks Hooker’s Faces

September 24, 2009 at 11:02 am by  

DELRAY BEACH, Florida – Police have made an arrest in connection to a string of prostitutes getting there asses beat by a John. The beatings were so severe that most had facial bones broken. Police arrested 28-year-old Dane White and have accused him of beating at least 13 whores and believe there could be more. A multi-agency investigation was used to catch this guy, as he employed tactics that made it difficult for him to be identified. He allegedly picked up hookers from different areas and used different vehicles when he did it. These attacks have been going on for a year, and he was simply using the women as surrogates for his girlfriend. “He was currently going through a separation with his girlfriend.. and he loved her truly, he couldn’t harm her so to take out his frustration and anger he vented it on other people,” said Delray Beach Detective Gene Spano. How romantic. White’s bond was set at $250,000 dollars and more charges of sexual battery and aggravated battery are expected.…

Kermit, West Virginia “Unusual to see a refrigerator laying flat in the bed of a truck. You have to stand them up if you want to use them later, and that’s the only thing that caught all of our eyes,” states a co-worker – a guard at a coal company where Roger Stroud worked. They state Roger signed in at the guardhouse and then 31 minutes he split. Perhaps he was just stupid and didn’t know to stand that fridge upright. Perhaps he had purchased his lovely wife a new home and was moving things in to surprise her at suppertime. This may have all made sense had she not wanted a divorce and had he not used that cumbersome appliance as a means to hide her body.…

Darwin Claims Another One

September 23, 2009 at 10:19 am by  

Imperial, MO – James Looney used to be a grouchy old fart. Neighbors said the 40-year-old man always kept to himself and, at times, would scream at kids for daring to step on his lawn. All of that changed when he met his girlfriend, Kim Thompson, about a month ago. He moved her into his home and agreed to raise her 2-week-old son as his own. Shortly after setting up house together, Looney accepted a job as an over the road trucker – a job that would keep him away from his new family two to three nights a week. Concerned about his ready-made family’s safety while he was out on the road, Looney decided to school Kim on the importance of gun safety. Now, I couldn’t tell you much about guns and safety and all that happy crap – I’m more of a Louisville Slugger type of gal. But, right off the top of my head, I can name three rules of gun safety. #1. Always assume a gun is loaded.…

Gary Green Didn’t Want A Divorce

September 23, 2009 at 10:01 am by  

Dallas, TX – Most of us have been through it.  The end of a serious relationship or marriage.  You know, things didn’t work out and its time to cut your losses and split.  Some of us don’t part ways on good terms.  You know how it can be, your every waking minute is consumed with thoughts of revenge, plotting and scheming on how you can make them pay.  Wondering which cables belong to the brakes and exactly how much damage a brick to the back of the skull will actually cause.  Pondering exactly how tamper proof those pesky tamper proof seals are, and googling their drive from home to work every day.  You’ll show him that you don’t take these things lightly.  Besides, his taste in music and movies suck and he was lucky you ever gave him the time of day… Wait, what was I talking about?  Oh yeah, bad break-ups and thoughts of revenge.  Point is, we never do it.  As much as we want them to hurt, we once loved them and those pesky good memories always get in the way.…

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