In The Mean Time...

Hey, wondering where we went? No worries, we are just changing format and conducting some testing before we flip the switch. For now, you can get all of our new stuff by clicking here.. We aren't quite ready to switch quite yet, but the end result will be a continuous flow of dark and often day-wrecking content from our regular authors as well as other members. It's a work in progress and we are still working on some design and function stuff, but the updated content is now coming through.

Stranger Danger!

December 11, 2009 at 11:05 am by  

Santa Fe, NMThe 10-year-old child ran into Sweeney Elementary School last Friday with a frightening story – she told the school secretary that she had missed her bus that morning and had to walk to school. The child said she was crossing the street when she saw a SUV parked in the lane. She thought it was suspicious and she immediately felt threatened. “I saw a man coming out of the car, really fast,” she said. She said the man started to chase her – she ran fast and ran hard, screaming all the way to school (about 100 yards). She described the bad man as having a dark complexion and a nose ring. A school counselor driving to work that morning observed the suspect walking back to his dark-colored SUV. A description of the suspect and his vehicle was broadcast – tips started coming in, leading police to a suspect fitting the description. It looked like they had their man……

NORTH STONINGTON, Connecticut – Earlier we posted an article about a body police found burning on the side of the road.

This body has been identified as Rebecca Koster.

The 22-year-old was last seen on video in the Butcher Boys Bar and Grill in Holbrook around 3:30 a.m. Friday.

She is seen leaving the bar with her boyfriend, Dan Mayor, 28. An autopsy was performed on Saturday and her death was ruled a homicide.

Police had received a 911 call regarding a brush fire but when firefighters arrived on the scene, they found a blaze about 10 ft off the road containing human remains so badly damaged they could not tell the gender.

Now it is being reported that someone used her missing phone to send out some sick text messages.

The first message came at 11:40 p.m. Sunday: “Dan has me tied up in a basement somewhere in Commack.”

On Monday Rebecca’s mother received another text police believe came from a parking lot near Northern Parkway in Happauge.…

William Cope Jr. Really Got His Drunk On

December 11, 2009 at 9:46 am by  

Louisville, KYWe’ve all done it – you get a drink or two past tipsy and do something to make a total ass of yourself, guaranteeing that you will be the butt of many future jokes. You know what I’m talking about, you get all obliterated on Mad Dog, get nekkid and cover yourself in peanut butter and raisins, arm yourself with a machete and an ice cream scoop and run through the neighborhood screaming “Where’s the beef?” just one friggin’ time and people just can’t seem to let it go. We’ve all done it at least once, right? Right? And speaking of drunken antics, please allow me to introduce old stink-face, William Cope Jr. After imbibing on who knows what for who knows how long, Cope found himself at a Kroger store. After urinating in one of the aisles, Cope found his way to the meat department where he opened up a few boxes of licorice candy, some cornbread stuffing, and several packages of steaks. When an officer approached and asked him what the hell he was doing, Cope, a slab of raw meat in each hand, answered, “Checking the texture of meat.” (After looking at that stink face mug, I can literally hear this guy in my head and it sounds more like this: ”Chicking zee texture of zee mit, you foo!”) Cope, who is also a registered sex offender, was arrested and charged with public intoxication.…

Kirkstall, Leeds – Annette Warden, 46, was with her husband and two kids watching “Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince” at the Vue Cinema. A group of kids were sitting in the same row and were being assholes. Texting, talking, all that crap. She asked them to be quiet and complained to the management twice. Upon leaving the theater, a car drove by and someone called her a “fucking slag”. Ignoring the insult, she and her family went inside a nearby restaurant to eat. After sitting down with their backs to the door, the kid who had been a part of the rowdy group and who had insulted her walked in and proceeded to pour a bottle of bleach over her head. Warden was taken to the hospital where she had injections to freeze her eyes and had saline solution poured into them.She was not seriously injured. Her 6ft 3in-tall attacker was apprehended and charged with assault and grievous bodily harm with intent. He has admitted to the former charge, but denies the latter.…

Students Overdose On Cough Medicine At School

December 10, 2009 at 3:17 pm by  

COOPER CITY, FloridaA few dumbass kids from Pioneer Middle School learned a valuable lesson when they accidentally overdosed on cold medicine. On Wednesday two 8th grade students and a 7th grader were taken to area hospitals, another 7th grader was sent home, after taking 6 to 12 times the recommended amount of cold medicine containing dextromethorphan. “The initial information is that one child brought the pills to school,” said BSO spokesman Mike Jachles. “Another, possibly two children might have stolen them from a retail store before school today.” Broward Sheriff’s Officials said charges could be filed against the teens, if they are found to have stolen the pills. Kids trust me on this one…if you are hell-bent on getting fucked up and nothing is gonna stop you, just go buy some weed. This cold medicine bullshit is as stupid as sniffing glue or enjoying Jaded’s favorite past-time of huffing gasoline.…

Night Train Murders (1975)

December 10, 2009 at 2:47 pm by  

MARIETTA, Georgia – On Wednesday, Gloria Valazquez was watching as her daughter, 5-year-old Karla Campos, was getting off her school bus after attending a day at Mountain View Elementary. Without warning, 82-year-old Edith M. Anderson passed the stopped bus on the right, ran up onto the curb and into the grass stricking Karla. Anderson kept on going. Karla was rushed to Scottish Rite Hospital, where she later died. Anderson, who is free on bond, now faces vehicular homicide charges. Let me tell you…two of the worst kind of drivers I experience on a daily basis are people from South Carolina and old people. In fact, they are almost indistinguishable. If I happen to come across an elderly person from South Carolina it’s like watching a scarier version of Mr. Magoo.…

Bow Chicka Wow Wow 101

December 10, 2009 at 10:09 am by  

Brooklyn, New York – A janitor at James Madison High School in Midwood witnessed French teacher Cindy Mauro, 33, and Alino Brito, 29, a married Spanish instructor, naked with each other inside an empty classroom. The janitor, Robert Colantuoni, decided not to do what most hetero males would do in that situation and simply toss one off in the hallway and then write a letter to Penthouse. Nope, he went and told school officials. Since then, both women have been removed from the classroom and sent to Education Department “rubber rooms” while they’re investigated for misconduct. Lawyers for the women said they both “categorically deny the salacious allegations.” Both teachers were very popular among students and a Facebook Group has been created in support of the two teachers which I have joined. Also, if the two are guilty of the accusations or not, let me go on record and state that I strongly encourage all hot teachers to please think of the children and partake in this activity at every opportunity.…

Bad Santa

December 10, 2009 at 9:21 am by  

PARMA, Ohio – I figured some jackass would pull something like this eventually. On Wednesday, a 12-year-old girl was walking down the street when 46-year-old Anthony Russo came out of the bushes – dressed in full Santa attire. He told the girl to come over to him, which she refused and continued walking. Russo followed her and grabbed her arm. The girl pulled away only to have Russo grab her a second time. The girl then went inside a nearby business and informed the owner of what the creepy Santa was doing. Russo left the scene on a transit bus. Police caught up to him a little while later still wearing the Santa Claus clothing including a sack filled with candy canes and a unicycle with Christmas decorations on it. Russo is currently in the Parma jail, no charges have been announced.…

Do NOT Touch This Dude’s Ass

December 10, 2009 at 7:48 am by  

Jefferson, WI – A picture is worth a thousand words – but a picture of a dude sporting a neck tattoo that says, “Nothing To Lose?” Well, you can pretty much sum that up in just two words – “Future convict.” It’s like, inevitable. After some random chick grabbed his ass in a bar, Andrew Wirth totally lost his shit. Last Saturday, off-duty officer Jennifer Luick, 37, and her boyfriend, Gregg Peters, 40, were hanging out at Vinnie’s Rock Bottom Bar in Jefferson. Jennifer and a friend were having a blast – drinking, dancing, and jokingly playing grab-ass with other bar patrons. Jennifer happened to goose the wrong guy, Andrew Wirth, and he took offense to that. Wirth, who was at the bar with his date, said something that offended Jennifer after she goosed him. Whatever he said to her must have stuck with her because as she was leaving the bar with Gregg later that evening, she mentioned something about Wirth being a real jerk. Well, that offended Gregg and the two turned around and re-entered the bar.…

This week on Dexter, Arthur Mitchell, a.k.a. The Trinity Killer (John Lithgow) and Dexter (Michael C. Hall) engage in a cat and mouse game of leverage. All the while, Dexter is scrambling to clean up mess after mess, recklessly juggling the many identities he has assumed. Deborah (Jennifer Capenter) finally comes to know without doubt who shot her and killed her lover. Reporter Christine Hill (Courtney Ford) is put under immense heat, but still protects her father – Trinity – only to find out he wants nothing to do with her. Rita (Julie Benz) confesses her transgression with the neighbor to Dexter and is taken aback with his reaction. And finally, Dexter is caught off guard when Arthur comes in to the lion’s den, compromising Dexter’s secret life in a big bad way. The pieces are now in place for what should be an explosive finale. As always, if you aren’t caught up, BEWARE OF SPOILERS!…

Elliot Lash Took A Flying Leap

December 9, 2009 at 10:01 am by  

Nashville, TN – Elliot Lash, 26, was working as a pediatric nurse for a doctor in Nashville. Last Thursday, he was in his 6th day on the job when he put down his stethoscope, walked off, and jumped off of the four-story building’s parking deck. Written on Lash’s hand was the name and phone number of a Murfreesboro detective. Lash was under investigation for child sexual abuse and about to be arrested. It seems his wife had started up his computer one day and found some things that disturbed her. Mrs. Lash called the cops. On the computer were hundreds of images and video of kids performing sexual acts. Homemade DVDs were also found. Some of the videos were of Lash and a child. According to the arrest warrant, one video showed Lash removing a child’s pants and spanking and rubbing the child’s behind for approximately 20 minutes.  Police are still sorting it all out to determine who all the victims may be and if some of it was downloaded off the internet.…

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