In The Mean Time...

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RIO RANCHO, NM – The 6-year-old girl found dead in her home’s garage was naked from the waist down and had damage to her genitals.

Ariana Jade Romeo was found dead on Saturday morning inside her home’s garage, which was also a makeshift bedroom described as being in “total disarray” by police.

Her body was in bloody sheets on a piece of foam that was acting as a mattress. The girl was not wearing pants or underwear and there was damage to her genitals.

Lying nearby was a marijuana pipe and prescription medications.

How the girl died has not been released, but search warrants stated police were looking for items that could be used to strangle or beat someone.

Neighbors say the girl lived at the home with her mother and older kids were often seen going in-and-out of the home. She had only been living at the home for a short time.

While no one has been arrested at this time, here’s some interesting information regarding the man who owns the home, 63-year-old Winston Scates.…

BEAUFORT, SC – A high school teacher allegedly had sex with two students over spring break after using Google to search if it was legal to do so.

Brittany Whetzel is too impatient for her own good. And a bit slutty to boot.

The 28-year-old Battery Creek High School English teacher recently fell down the increasingly common rabbit-hole of wrongful relations between teacher and student.

Well, in her case, it’s ‘students’ with a terminal ‘s’, as in “so your friend is pretty cute, too.”

Whetzel, who had been working for the school district in Beaufort, South Carolina since 2016, had apparently had the hots for one of the students for a while now, telling some co-workers how handsome he was and sharing her hopes to one day have “beautiful babies” with him.

A bit optimistic on her part, and for more than one reason.

She knew that this nefarious need could get her in trouble; she told friends that she couldn’t wait until June 3rd, when the student would graduate, so that “she could do whatever she wanted,” including putting the aforementioned buns in her oven with the help of his baby batter.…

SAN DIEGO, CA – A father in California got the satisfaction of beating on the man accused of molesting his 3-year=old daughter before police arrived and took the neighbor to jail.

The incident happened Saturday morning after a man found his 3-year-old daughter standing in his living room partially undressed.

When he asked her why she was not in bed, she told him a man from next door had taken her out her bedroom window and touched her inappropriately.

Her father took her next door and told her to point out the man who had molested her. She pointed at their neighbor, 46-year-old Francisco Diaz, a man well-known to the family.

“I talked to him every day. I gave him money,” the girl’s father said. “Everyone in my family is comfortable with him. I can’t believe it.”

Understandably upset, the girl’s father started arguing with Diaz and the argument quickly turned physical. The two men were still fighting when police arrived and had to separate them.

Diaz was arrested and is being held without bail on charges of kidnapping, threat to cause death, lewd and lascivious acts with a minor and sodomy with a minor.…

STATESVILLE, NC – Police have arrested a man after he hired a 14-year-old girl to do yard work then offered her money to see her naked.

Salesmen call it the foot-in-the-door technique. You get someone to make a small concession, and that makes it easier for you to get them to agree to a bigger concession later.

Douglas Jackson, 61, of Statesville, NC, must have been watching Glengarry Glen Ross recently.

When an enterprising 14-year-old girl agreed to do yard work for pay, he had that perverted foot in the doorway.

After letting her work up a good sweat, he pushed a hard sell: more pay for more services.

Specifically, Santa Claus here wanted her to shuck off them sweaty skivvies, ’cause she so sexy.

The unnamed young lady slammed the door right on that ol’ cloven hoof.

The incident was reported to local authorities on August 3rd, and Jackson was arrested for the indecent proposal. He was held under a $50,000 bond on a single felony charge of indecent liberties with a child.…

NEW ORLEANS, LA – A man has been jailed after he chased down a man who stole his wallet and then beat him to death.

It started out as a hot, sunny morning in New Orleans this past Friday, but it would soon turn stormy in a bit of subtle foreshadowing.

Edwin, whose last name was not released, and may not even be known, was out spare-changing.

As any pro will tell you, the ability to size people up quickly is an important part of effective begging. Some people are a soft touch, and you want to focus your efforts on them. Some people would just assume see you starve, and they’re not worth your time.

If you intend to mix a little larceny in with your bumming, reading people properly becomes even more important: a matter of life and death vs. mere efficiency.

Edwin was a little off Friday morning.

He approached a man wearing a Pantera shirt and asked for a dollar, then snatched the wallet out of the man’s back pocket and ran.…

LANCASTER, CA – The body of a man was found after he died a horrible death inside a stone pillar outside a California grocery store.

On Monday, police pulled over a man suspected of driving a stolen vehicle. The man fled on foot and the officers were unable to locate him.

That was until Saturday when his decomposing corpse was found inside a stone pillar outside the WinCo Foods grocery store.

Turns out that when the man ran from police he made his way inside the store and on to the store’s roof.

Access to the inside of the store’s stone pillars can be reached from there and the man either fell or climbed into one of the pillars.

On Saturday, a manager at the store smelled a foul odor coming from that pillar and thought it was a sewage issue.

The plumber that was hired to check it out called police after he knocked away some of the pillar’s stone and saw a man’s leg and tennis shoes.

“I’ve never seen anything like this before,” sheriff’s Lt.…

TROY, NC – A woman taking a walk in her North Carolina neighborhood was reportedly mauled to death by two pit bulls.

When the 66-year-old woman did not return home after her routine walk, her husband went out with neighbors looking for her.

When they were unable to find her they called 911. Responding police and emergency personnel would find her body along an unused road in her housing development.

According to reports, it looked as if the woman had been attacked by a dog so police immediately began searching the surrounding area.

Eventually they “located two pit bull dogs with physical evidence reflecting the dog’s involvement.

The dogs’ owner agreed to release the dogs to animal control so they could be euthanized and tested for rabies. Medical examiners also wanted to study the dogs’ jaw sizes.

As of Saturday, the case remained a death investigation and not a criminal investigation.

“This is a very tragic event, which has deeply affected the family, friends, deputies, and first responders,” Montgomery County Sheriff Chris Watkins said.…

DENVER, CO – Police have taken a 16-year-old girl into custody in connection to the death of a 7-year-old boy who was found dead on Tuesday.

Jordan Vong was reported Monday afternoon after he went missing in his neighborhood. Police searched a 20-block radius but did not find the boy until Tuesday night.

That’s when police searched the family’s home and found Vong’s body. Police are not releasing any details regarding how the boy died, but did say the body was carefully hidden.

“It was intentionally concealed, and it took some time to find it,” said Joe Montoya, division chief of investigations.

The next morning, a 16-year-old girl was taken into custody on suspicion of first-degree murder after police said they found evidence connecting her to Vong’s death.

She is being held without bond and will be formally charged on Aug. 14.

Police have not released her identity because she is a juvenile and have not stated her relationship with Vong.

Interesting to note, however, was Montoya’s description of Vong’s family when he stated they were “cooperative to a point.”

GoFundMe page has been created to help raise money for Vong’s funeral.…

CAYCE, SC – A man in South Carolina called police to his home to help him find his missing bag of meth.

I always thought Officer Friendly was a myth- some fairy tale they told you in elementary school, like Santa Claus, or the Easter Bunny, or the Honest Politician.

Turns out Officer Friendly is real. A meth-head in Cayce, SC met him.

When the unnamed 24 year-old, who is a strong contender for Dumbest Criminal of 2018, went to indulge in his favorite narcotic this past Sunday, he was mortified to find that his meth was missing.

He could have taken this development as a warning from the Good Lord Above not to speed on Sunday, but he didn’t.

He could have run amok and gotten all stabby with the other denizens of his lair (the most popular response to missing meth), but he didn’t.

He could have even gone out and bought more meth. Nope.

You’d never guess what he did in a million years if the headline didn’t give it away.…

DELRAY BEACH, FL – The shooting of a 10-year-old boy has been linked to a decades long feud between three Florida families, say police.

Everyone has heard of the Hatfields and the McCoys.

The two families, who lived by the Big Sandy River along the modern-day border of Kentucky and West Virginia, engaged in a bloody 19th-century feud that lasted almost thirty years.

This feud is a well-known part of American folklore, and has become synonymous with internecine, interfamily hillbilly warfare. It ended with dozens killed and wounded on both sides of the affair.

It’s the kind of thing that you read about and think “Stupid hillbillies! I’m so glad we’ve evolved beyond that as a culture.”

Not in Florida, baby!

Florida has its own modern-day Hatfield-McCoy Feud, and while it takes place in an urban setting, the Northwest and Southwest neighborhoods in Delray Beach, it is just as bloody and just as stupid as the original.

Partisans siding with three longstanding Delray Beach families have been fighting since a 2009 nightclub dust-up, the cause of which no one even remembers any more, except for the vague recollection that there was a diss involved.…

TAMPA, FL — A man got so angry during a political disagreement that he drove to the other man’s house and shot him in the ass.

It happened Monday night after 44-year-old Brian Sebring and 46-year-old Alex Stephens got into a political argument that seems to be the norm these days.

Sebring was not happy about Stephens’ messages, nor did he like the threats Stephens was allegedly sending him.

So instead of blocking him or calling police to report the alleged threats, Sebring made the totally rational decision to visit Stephens at his house two miles away. Armed with a Glock and an AR-15.

After pulling into Stephens’ driveway and honking his horn, Stephens came out of his house to confront Sebring.

Sebring responded by pulling out his Glock and firing at Stephens, hitting the man in the thigh and the ass. Sebring then turned himself in to police.

Stephens was taken to Tampa General Hospital with non-life threatening injuries while Sebring was arrested and charged with aggravated battery with a deadly weapon and carrying a concealed firearm.…

HOUSTON, TX – A man masturbating while riding a bicycle was shot by a woman after he tried entering her home.

This must be the week of The Masturbators.

First we have a homeless guy in SC whipping his weasel at a 13-year-old-girl whose denser-than-lead mother left her home alone with him while she went to the store.

Now word comes out of Texas about a crazed masturbating bicyclist running amok in a Houston neighborhood.

That takes some serious coordination. This guy is a pro.

About 5:15 PM on Tuesday, around the time normal, productive members of society are coming home from a long day’s work, this assclown was freewheeling around the Golfcrest neighborhood, popping wheelies and copping feelies. On himself.

He was really enjoying himself, too, and who wouldn’t be! The refreshing rush of the breeze on his inflamed johnson, the delirium of the love tugs blurring his vision to a delightful kalidoscopic dazzle, the lyrics to his own special pervert’s version of Freebird soaring through his head.

Feelin’ GOOD, man.…

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