In The Mean Time...

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OREM, Utah – There’s dumb and then there’s dumber. Hopefully, the dumb-ass pictured to the left gives up his life of crime because after this little stunt, it is obvious the guy’s belt does not go through all the loops. Reason #1: This last week, John White stole two cell phones from a convenience store. Reason #2: White accidentally left a slip of paper with an address written on it. Reason #3: White later flags down a police car and asks for directions to the address on the said paper. The officer he flagged down just happened to be on his way to check that same address for a lead on the robbery. When the officer noticed John White matched the description a store clerk gave of the thief, White was arrested. The officer found both of the stolen phones on White as well as a small amount of marijuana. Police say charges are pending. I am pretty sure what they are, but I will wait and update them when they become available.…

Punxsutawney, PA – …you end up lockin’ lips with road kill. Donald Wolfe, 55, was reportedly trying to revive a dead possum Thursday afternoon right before he was arrested and charged with public intoxication.

One witness reported seeing Wolfe “kneeling before the deceased animal and gesturing as though he were conducting a séance.” When that didn’t work, Wolfe tried mouth-to-mouth. Try as he might, that critter was beyond help – it wasn’t just playing possum, it had already been dead for quite some time before Wolfe stumbled across it.

I don’t know if you’ve ever had the pleasure of tripping over a dead possum, but speaking from experience, I can tell ya those little bastids have an aroma that is rank beyond compare. I wouldn’t get close enough to poke a dead one with a stick, let alone get close enough to suck face with it.

They are so absolutely vile, buzzards won’t even snack on them after they expire. I shudder for the guy, and as soon as I get this story up, I’m gonna go gargle a mouthful of Listerine in his honor.…

Who Beat The Crap Out Of Little Evie?

March 27, 2010 at 7:22 am by  

Enid, OK – The phone rang in Robert Gamble’s house at 9:00 Wednesday morning – it was his daughter, Amanda Gamble. She had called to tell him his granddaughter, 22-month-old Evie, had been injured and she needed his help. Amanda told her father she woke that morning to find Evie’s head extremely swollen and bruised. Robert rushed to his daughter’s home and when he arrived, I’m positive his heart broke into a million tiny pieces. “When she opened the door she had the baby in her arms, and the baby’s head was hugely swollen,” Robert said. “Her eyelid was swollen shut, and she held out her arms and said, ‘Papa.'” Robert rushed the two to the emergency room and asked hospital staff to call law enforcement. According to Robert, “Evie’s ear was bent down because her head was so swollen on the left side,” and she had what appeared to be knuckle marks on the back of her ear. Her shoulders and neck were bruised. Evie must have tried her hardest to fend off the monster who attacked her – she had defensive wounds on the left side of her hand.…

MIDDLETOWN, Conn. – Police raided the home of Thomas Way, 22, and Kristian Augeri, 23, searching for drugs. Reports say aside from drugs and guns, they also found a digital camera with some interesting video on it. Police say the video shows their 3-year-old son holding a glass bowl and trying to light it with a lighter. While he does this, Thomas sits beside him while Kristian films. Both of them laughing. The boy never gets the bowl lit, but police say he can be seen inhaling and coughing. The couple now sits in jail facing charges that include risk of injury to a child, the boy is staying with relatives. Augeri’s father, a long-time member of the Middleton police department, must be so proud. But what takes this story to even higher levels of retardation, are the comments made by Way’s sister, Stephanie.…

BLOOMINGTON, Minn. – In one month, Mall of America has been the scene of three falling deaths. Two of these deaths involved falls from the mall’s parking garage. The third happened inside the mall on Wednesday when 21-year-old Dakota Rey Kohler-Lander climbed over the 4th story railing of the rotunda and fell (or jumped). Police were approaching him after responding to a report of a man with a knife. He was alive after the plunge, with a faint pulse, but died at the hospital from multiple blunt injuries. Why Dakota did this is currently unknown, but it is being reported he missed a court date that day to face one count of rape in the third degree. This charge stems from allegedly having consensual sex with a 16-year-old girl. The parents of this man sure are getting shit on – last June, Dakota’s 17-year-old twin brothers were killed in an ATV accident. On Father’s Day no less.…

Yuma – A 20-year-old father was arrested the other day after his 14-month-old son got to experience drowning in sewage. On Wednesday, police and rescue workers were called out to a residence on a report of a child drowning. Turns out 14-month-old Aiden Lee Bailey had been left outside to play while his parents went inside. Unfortunately for the kid, he fell into an open cesspool being used by an RV on the property. Rescuers were not able to revive Aiden, and after interviewing the parents, Michael Wilson was arrested and booked into the Yuma County Jail on one count of hindering prosecution – which I think simply means that he lied about the events that happened. A medical examination revealed Aiden’s core body temperature at a level that suggests he had been in the hole for longer than previously thought. The boy’s mother, Crystal Baily, 20, has not been arrested but charges have been forwarded to the county attorney, including child negligence.…

St. Louis, MO – An investigation into the online activities of 47-year-old Kenneth Kyle began back in December of 2009 when authorities discovered someone used a computer at his address to send 100 child porn images to an undercover FBI agent on a peer-to-peer file-sharing service. The discovery led to a search of his San Francisco home on March 10, while he was out of the country. Authorities found evidence of child pornography on his home computer and Kyle was arrested upon his return to the states on March 15. On March 19, federal prosecutors charged Kyle with transportation of child pornography. Information on Kyle’s computer then led authorities to Ballwin, Missouri. There, they arrested Tessa Van Vlerah – a 20-year-old college student and single mother of a 13-month-old child. Authorities believe Van Vlerah not only assisted Kyle in the molestation of her child, but participated as well. And the FBI has the pictures to prove it. Kyle allegedly made several trips to Missouri over the past year where he and Van Vlerah would go to motels to sexually assault the baby.…

Bad Grandma Pimped Out Granddaughter For Coke

March 25, 2010 at 10:57 am by  

Saginaw, MI – I have very few, but very fond memories of my grandmother. Though she passed when I was six, I can still recall warm cookies, soft hugs, and the smell of her perfume. When Angela Blackwell’s granddaughter looks back on the time she spent with her grandma, she’ll probably be doing it from the therapist’s couch. Grandma has a monkey on her back – cocaine. And grandma is willing to do anything to get her fix, even if it means pimping out her 10-year-old granddaughter. The child would be dropped off at grandma’s house every weekend. Grandma would then take the child to her drug dealer’s house. Once there, granny got her drugs and the dealer, 67-year-old Johnnie Griffin, got a piece of the child. The alleged assaults, which started in September and ended in February, were discovered while police were investigating reports of similar crimes against Griffin. Granny is in jail, but Griffin is nowhere to be found. …

Arthur Goodwin Plotted To Have Child Killed

March 25, 2010 at 9:42 am by  

Avondale, OH – Holed up in the Gray Bar Hotel since February, Arthur Goodwin has had plenty of time on his hands to plan and scheme. Accused of rape, he allegedly sought out a hitman to ‘take care of’ his accuser. The price: $5,000. The method: Hit and run. His intended victim: The 10-year-old girl he’s accused of raping, repeatedly, over a two day period in January. The ‘hitman’ informed authorities of Goodwin’s plan to rid the earth of the child and her mother – the only witnesses to the rape charges. Authorities found documents that outlined Goodwin’s scheme – the child’s home, daily schedule and movements were mapped out. Goodwin wanted the hitman to run over the child as she walked to school. How the child’s mother was supposed to meet her end hasn’t been reported. On the child rape charges, a total of five counts, Goodwin had attempted to plead not guilty by reason of insanity. Based upon this new information, it has been determined that Goodwin is of *ahem* sound mind.…

Scorned Boyfriend Gets Sh*tty

March 25, 2010 at 8:48 am by  

Muncie, IN – Relationships are so bi-polar…one day it’s all happiness, love and joy…the next it’s all head-butting, name-calling and shit smearing. It’s during a break-up that a person’s true self shines through. Take Brett McDonald, for instance. Scorned, he allegedly broke into his girlfriend’s apartment last Saturday and ransacked the place. Still unsatisfied, he took his temper tantrum to another level and smeared his own shit all over the walls. Seems to me his true self is a tad psychotic. The girlfriend returned to the apartment in the middle of Brett’s little pity party and was attacked as she collected her children from the babysitter in a neighboring apartment. While she was holding her toddler daughter, Brett allegedly headbutted the woman in the face, breaking her nose. Psycho coward that he is, he ran away before the cops showed up. The cops caught up with him on Monday – he was hiding beneath a pile of clothing in his wife’s closet. Yeah, dude is a keeper. …

Kurt PetersenModesto, California – We got an update on a story we blogged last year about a group of Juggalos who beat 54-year-old William August as he walked in Graceada Park with his girlfriend and two daughters.

After being arrested for their roles, prosecutors announced that they were going to charge the four as if they were gang members which would have the charges carrying much heavier sentences. On Monday, Brandon Ferrell, 19, Kurt Petersen, 23, Larry Williams, 20, and Joshua Huggins, 18, pleaded no contest to a felony charge of assault likely to produce great bodily injury in addition to a gang enhancement.

Ferrell and Huggins have served their year and will be released from jail while Petersen has a few months left on his sentence. But poor Williams…well that guy got seven years in state prison because he has a previous conviction under the state’s “three strikes” law.

I do not think most people believe that fans of ICP are gang members, and feel there a handful of adjectives that are much more fitting.…

Coral Springs, FL – I’ve been here at the Dreamin’ Demon for a couple of years now, and even before I found a home here, I had been true crime fanatic for years – devouring the most heinous of crime novels by the dozen. I’d like to say that nothing surprises me anymore, but then I sit at my computer and hit the web and realize I ain’t heard the half of it. Monday afternoon, just a little after 4:00 p.m., a 50-year-old woman was walking down the sidewalk when a young boy hit her from behind. She said she felt the boy try to pull down her sweatpants – when she turned around to confront him, he hit her again. She started to chase the boy and got hit one more time for good measure. The 12-year-old suspect was arrested and charged with attempted sexual battery. When my male kidlet was 12, girls were still infested with cooties and sex was just something he joked about with other boys on the playground.…

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