The Dreamin' Demon

The Pulpit of Doom will be Saturday 18 at 10:30 p.m. eastern, so stop by and shoot the shit with other members as we discuss the latest news. Be sure to check out our Youtube Channel and subscribe for notifications. The latest Pulpit of Doom podcasts can be found here.

Man Followed Teen Into Store Restroom, Beaten To Death By Girl's FatherFormer Star Of “The Dukes of Hazzard” Pleaded Guilty To Inappropriately Touching Two WomenMan's Body Found In Stone Pillar Outside California Grocery StoreBoy Dies After Eating Meth, Father Would Not Call 911Former SC GOP Director Claims He's Christ And God Told Him To Kill Mom’s DogFour Members Of Family Arrested After 15-Year-Old Found Living In Barn Eating Sticks And GrassMan Stabbed To Death At Daycare During Argument Over Handicap-Parking SpaceMan Accused Of Installing Hidden Camera In Bedroom Of Friend's DaughterMan Cut Off Employee's Penis And Threw It To Dogs To EatAngry Verizon Customer Drove Through Store, Phone Still Not Working

In The Mean Time...

Albuquerque, NM – The greasy looking douchebag to the left is 54-year-old Terry Barns. The vile scrote is accused of molesting an 8-year-old girl inside the iT’Z Family Fun Center on May 17. According to authorities, Barns had been wandering around the restaurant for a couple of hours before he cornered the girl, who was at the center on a school field trip, in a ball pit. He allegedly pinned her down and kissed her while he grabbed her butt and touched her inner thigh. When the girl ran away, police say Barns started stroking himself. Somehow, dude managed to exit the restaurant unscathed. Four days later, however, he was arrested after exposing himself to a young girl while masturbating in the toy aisle at a local WalMart. He was behind bars on that charge when authorities rearrested him for the nasty incident at iT’Z. Police say Barns matched the description of the assailant captured on surveillance video at iT’Z. …

Many thanks to Dakota Valkyrie for another informative forum post. According to authorities, after a domestic altercation with his girlfriend, 27-year-old Christopher Barney stabbed his 1-year-old son before using the same knife to repeatedly poke at himself. The baby didn’t survive the attack – unfortunately, Barney did. He’s listed in critical condition at UNM Hospital. Source: Taos News

Sugar Mill, GA – Not much on this one yet, but as it stands, 31-year-old Jason Finley is being charged with aggravated animal cruelty after he allegedly beat four puppies to death with a shovel. Though Finley admits he killed the animals, he says he only did so because their owner couldn’t afford to care for them – police believe he did it out of revenge. Apparently there was a brutal altercation with the puppies’ owner and her boyfriend just days before the puppies were found buried in a shallow grave on Finley’s property. It is believed the pups had been dead and buried for at least three or four days before they were found. Finley has already posted $44,800 bond and has been released from Gwinnett County Jail. Yep…nothing says “FUCK OFF” quite like a pit full of dead puppies. Way to go, asshole.…

The tawdry tale of Kelly Malkemus was introduced into our forums by the lovely Dakota Valkyrie. According to police, when the 41-year-old man was apprehended by an off-duty officer in a residential neighborhood, he was wearing nothing but a fleece vest and was carrying a towel and container of Vaseline. Police aren’t sure why he was running through the ‘hood half-nekkid, but there have been reports of a peeping tom in that area. Source: The Star Press

When I mentioned in the forums that I just didn’t have the stomach to watch the video related to this case, forum member redsaid stepped up and wrote the following. Welcome to the FP, redsaid, and thanks. ~Lizard

Plains City/Marysville, OH – A video from animal rights group Mercy for Animals (warning: visiting their Web site takes you directly to the video) shows the true-life horrors of just being a cow in the presence of 25-year-old Billy Joe Gregg, Jr., who was mebbe learnin’ hisself how to become a cop by beating cows and calves with crow bars, stabbing them with pitchforks, and punching them with his fists. The video clearly shows this fine gentleman picking up a very young calf and throwing it to the ground and then stomping on its head. Then the heartless fuck kicks it in the mouth while its down. Good experience for a cop. You know those brand-new baby cows are such a threat to society! “Enough!” you say? Not for Billy Joe.…

RIVERHEAD, N.Y. – Magicians give me the creeps. I like a good magic trick or illusion, but the magician who performs them always comes across as…I dunno…off. You ever met a professional magician? If you have, you know what I’m talking about. I’m sure there are some perfectly normal people out there who decided to take up magic as a living who are just as normal as someone who spends their free time posting about people being murdered. Maybe. But even if there is, 52-year-old Bob Infantino isn’t one of them. Once known as “Long Island’s Favorite Magician,” he just pleaded guilty to 44 counts of unlawful surveillance and 64 counts of possession of child pornography. He was busted using a hidden camera to videotape women and children in his home photography studio. Unless he manages to make himself vanish into thin air, he is expected to spend 5 to 15 years in prison where he may resume his magic with a new act that includes dicks disappearing into his ass.…

GRESHAM, Ore. – Back in October, 1-year-old Ariana Magathan was being cared for by her grandmother, Carolyn Bellamy, when 911 was called by someone reporting that the little girl had fallen out of bed and was knocked unconscious. She died four days later, just shy of her 2nd birthday. But medical examiners were not buying the story. The injuries Ariana suffered were not consistent with a fall out of a bed, and more consistent with someone playing bongos on it with their fists. “The Medical Examiner has described the cause of death as violent blunt force trauma to the head. It has been agreed that the injury is not consistent with a fall out of bed,” Sgt Rick Wilson with the Gresham Police Department said. So on Wednesday a grand jury indicted Bellamy on felony murder and manslaughter charges. On Thursday, police arrested Bellamy at her home and put her in jail without bail.…

LILBURN, Ga. – In a true testament to just how much I suffer for my art, I have decided NOT to go to the new, hip club that’s opening tonight, an opening I was getting paid a pretty good amount to show up to. No, I have decided that there were too many interesting stories floating around today and I’m gonna post about them in a D’D Friday Night Extended Edition. Starting with the story out of Georgia about the kid who had a balloon full of bleach tossed on him as he walked home from school. Seems as if the town has a yearly ritual at the end of every school year in which the middle schoolers are harassed by the high schoolers. Normally harmless bullshit, but this year there was a turd in the punchbowl. Well, three of them to be exact. 14-year-old Miguel Mesa was walking home from Lilburn Middle School with his friends when they were hit by the bleach ballons thrown by some teens in a van.…

Minneapolis, MN – Investigators are calling it one of the worst cases of child abuse they have ever seen. A 6-year-old boy was viciously beaten because he supposedly misbehaved at school. When interviewed by authorities, the child said “my daddy whooped my butt.” His “daddy” isn’t his daddy at all – he’s mommy’s boyfriend. According to authorities, 37-year-old Troy Lamont Clay tied the child to a pole in the basement and flogged him 60-100 times with an electrical cord. And the child’s mother, 30-year-old Jacquelyn Wander Williams, just sat there and watched. “Mom was right there, she sat down, watched it happen and did not lift a finger to stop it, nor did she lift a hand to give this kid first aid, didn’t bring him to the hospital, didn’t treat him,” said Minneapolis police Lt. Greg Reinhardt, head of the department’s child abuse unit. There was bruising from the child’s neck down to the top of his butt. “When the child was brought to the hospital and they did an exam, the doctor looked at his back and there wasn’t a square inch of the child’s back that didn’t have a mark on it.” He went on to say the beating was barbaric, like something out of the dark ages.…

ATLANTA, GA. – Keenon Aampay Hall, once named Teacher of the Year at a Gwinnett County high school, has resigned from her position one day after an investigation began over allegations she had an ongoing affair with a 17-year-old student. The student went to school officials after Hall gave him a failing grade. He told them that he and the 29-year-old English teacher began their sexual relationship after he went to her to get help with his homework. He told them that the relationship lasted around six months and involved sex in motels, other people’s houses and even a classroom. But when he refused to get her pregnant, things turned bad. “But what made Keenon Hall mad at me is the fact that I would not give her a baby and I said ‘no, I will never’ and that night she began crying because of how mad she was,” the student said. “She took me home and never said anything else to me.” Well aside from her taking him from an A to an F in English.…

NASHVILLE, Tenn. – Thursday should have been a great day for Evan Smalley, 8, and his sister Nadia, 10, seeing as it was their last day at Bordeaux Elementary before beginning summer vacation. But the pair missed their school bus that morning and began walking to school a little over a mile away. As they passed one of the houses along the road, a Chihuahua and a Beagle mix began barking at them. Frightened, the siblings ran out into the road where they were struck by a 40-year-old woman driving a 2003 Pontiac Grand Prix. Both children were taken to Vanderbilt Children’s Hospital in critical condition. The owner of the two dogs, 59-year-old Lottie Berry, has been charged for not having the dogs secured and not having their vaccinations up to date. GODDAMN CHIHUAHUA AND BEAGLE MIXES! While the media focuses on pit bull attacks, these little bastards are out there under the radar, trying to kill the future of America. Seriously, I hope the kids pull through and this incident ends up as nothing more than a story they will be re-telling to friends for many, many years.…

Police: Mom Blows .39 With Three Kids In Car

May 28, 2010 at 8:17 am by  

Mahwah, NJ – Georgette Massi, 36, is accused of driving drunk with three children in her car. And not just a little drunk, Demonites – Massi had a BAC of .39 – nearly 5 times the legal limit. Jesus! At that level, I’d be way past puking and incapacitated and into a coma of sorts. She was pulled over Wednesday afternoon for swerving and driving at a low rate of speed. When the officer made contact with her, he noticed she had two flat passenger tires, her breath was rather boozy-smellin’ and there was a nearly empty whiskey bottle on the front seat of the vehicle. Also inside the vehicle were three sobbing children – her two children, ages 1 and 6, and a 6-year-old family friend. When the officer asked the children why the tires were flat, they told him Massi said she hit a bump. He believes she may have done one helluva curb check. The children were handed over to family members and Massi was taken to the tank.…