North Dakota Mother Killed Her Three Children Before Killing HerselfMan Accused Of Trying To "Barbecue" Sex Offenders At Florida MotelDrunk Mom Gets Kicked Out Of School Play, Assaults Officer, Floods Jail CellBoy, 10, Electrocuted While Hiding In Dryer During Hide-and-seekMan Charged With Incest After Fathering Baby With 20-Year-Old DaughterWoman Accused Of Forcing Oral Sex On A Cable RepairmanBoy Accidentally Killed At Elementary School After His Head Was Crushed By Room PartitionWoman Who Stole $1.2 Million From Job Kills Herself Hours Before SentencingWoman Missing Since Mother's Day Presumed Dead, Suspect ArrestedCouple Charged After Their 5-Year-Old Daughter Found Dead In Storage Locker

In The Mean Time...

Daily Bites

May 27, 2010 at 5:00 pm by  
  • Well, I want to thank me for all the hard work I did today. I did an amazing job and I don’t know what I would do without me. Thanks, me, I am a true gentleman and a scholar. Maybe later I will show me my appreciattion with a nice steak and a handjob. Until then, here are a few stories I didn’t have time to get to.
  • JACKSONVILLE BEACH, Fla. – Floridians continue to show true class after Jacquelyn Tinsley was involved in a hit and run where she slammed her van into a car carrying three people. She drove home and forced her 15-year-old son to take the van away so she could report it stolen – which she did. Florida cops, used to this kind of retardation by now, were not buying it. The teen finally admitted the truth and told police where the van was. His mother was arrested, but still spouted her innocence and blamed her son. “Absolutely not. It was all his fault. I had nothing to do with it,” Tinsley said.

LA CENTER, Wash – Police Sgt. Jerry Lester was eating lunch at the Palace Casino when security officers approached him and informed him that a little boy was sitting in a Lincoln Navigator in the parking lot. They paged the 3-year-old boy’s mother and before long, 32-year-old Valerie Tran came outside drunk and just couldn’t understand what the big deal was. She didn’t understand why they were upset at her leaving her kid in a car with no food, spoiled milk and a soiled diaper while she gambled…for thirteen hours. I mean, she would come out of the casino and check on him ever few hours or so. Like, gosh! Cops gave the kid a teddy bear and some fresh clothes while casino employees brought him some water and a PB & J. Child protective services took the boy and charged Tran with leaving a child unattended in a vehicle — a gross misdemeanor that carries a maximum sentence of two years in jail and a $1,000 fine. Anyone find a pic of her and I’ll send you a pair of my underwear I was about to give to Goodwill (nevermind, Coyote wanted ’em more than anyone).…

Kyleigh Ann SousaTEMPE, Ariz – I think that Jaded and FlamingFox have run off to Vegas together. So until they get back, it looks like you are stuck with me today. Tempe police need help trying to track down and arrest the jackass who couldn’t even perform a simple purse snatching without killing a woman.

Kyleigh Ann Sousa, a 21-year-old ASU student, was approached by a heavyset man in a newer model silver Chrysler 300 on Wednesday morning. The driver reached out and grabbed her purse before driving off. Sadly, Sousa’a arm became entangled in her purse strap and she was dragged a few feet before hitting her head on the pavement. She would die from her injuries later that night.

Sgt. Steve Carbajal stated that there were witnesses to the incident, but no one got a good look at the driver, described as a Hispanic with a heavy build, driving a silver, four-door Chrysler 300. Anyone with information is asked to contact Tempe police at 480-350-8311 or silent witness at 480-WITNESS.

Not that it makes anyone else’s death less tragic, but man she was ridiculously hot.…

Man Charged After Hanging His Dog

May 27, 2010 at 8:56 am by  

HAWTHORNE, Calif. – What are the odds that I would have two stories today featuring dogs peering out from behind bars? Who cares. This story does not involve a pit bull raping kids in a day care, but rather a pit bull who was saved after neighbors observed its owner abusing it. Neighbors heard the yelps of pain and screaming coming from the home of 19 year old Ricardo Salvador Plascenia. When one went to investigate, they witnessed Plascenia slam a 50 pound pit bull, named Mary Jane, onto the concrete. He then punched and kicked Mary Jane before treating her like some kind of flag; hoisting her onto a pole by her choke chain. By time police got there the dog had been taken down, but luckily one of the neighbors captured the entire event on cell phone video. Plascenia was arrested Monday and booked on charges of animal cruely and cultivation of marijuana. Mary Jane was taken to the Carson animal shelter where she will eventually be put up for adoption.…

Ravyn1965 posted a story in our forums out of Long Branch, New Jersey about a 20-year-old volunteer youth adviser who they say sexually assaulted a teen boy. Craig Reeves was arrested on Thursday for allegedly engaging in sexual acts with a 14-year-old boy he met while volunteering as a youth adviser. He also pretended to be a young woman on MySpace, using photos of nude young women to solicit photos of young men. Source: App.com

SEMINOLE, Fla. – Since I don’t want people thinking I am out to get pit bulls or something, here is a story involving Mickey – a 6-year-old 95-pound male Rottweiler-German shepherd mix. The other day Mickey went batshit insane for a currently unknown reason. Richard Blackey is currently in serious condition suffering from bites to his arms, chest and neck after his pet dog turned on him. Melissa Howell, Blackey’s girlfriend, stated that Blackey had returned to their bedroom with a plate of food when she heard him yelling and the dog growling. Next thing you know, the dog was eating Blackey. She said that even as Blacey was crawling out of the bedroom, Mickey continued his assault. She tried to intervene, but the dog bit her as well. She was finally able to trap the dog in a bedroom and call police. The dog was taken by Pinellas County Animal Services. Howell told officers that Blackey has had Mickey since he was a puppy and that Mickey had bitten Blackey a few years back.…

CROSBY, Minn – We did some dumb shit in school, but this is one fad I can never remember doing. It looks as if male youths find entertainment in punching other unsuspecting males in the groin. I am not sure if this took off because of some of the repressed homosexual antics of the Jackass crew, but whatever the reason, this practice has cost a boy a family jewel. As 14-year-old David Gibbons changed classes at Crosby Ironton High School, his testicles were assaulted by a punch from another student. The next day he woke up in excruciating pain. Before long, his right testicle was snipped and dangling from the forceps of a surgeon. The Gibbons are scheduled to meet with Crow Wing County Attorney Don Ryan to find out if the student that did the nutcracking can be criminally charged. At risk of sounding like an old man screaming from the other side of the generation chasm, I have to ask, “WHAT IN THE FUCKING FUCK IS THIS SHIT?!

The Daily Bites

May 26, 2010 at 4:08 pm by  
  • I guess it’s a good day when there isn’t much bad news to report. Here are a couple other stories that were floating around today.
  • BURRELL TWP., PA – Two teenage census workers were assaulted by a 43-year-old man who wanted them OFF HIS GODDAMN LAWN!! Timothy Cowan has been accused of chasing the two off his property and then following them in their vehicle. When the teens, an 18-year-old male and a juvenile female, ran off the road, Cowan reached in and grabbed one teen around the neck and threatened to punch the girl in the face.
  • LOUISVILLE, KY – 50-year-old Glen B. Altman was arrested after witnesses observed him masturbating in full view of children at a food mart. He then went outside by a pay phone and continued to jack off because I mean, once you’ve started you might as well finish – it’s not like the charges get worse at that point. He’s a handsome guy, you should check out his mugshot. He has also been in trouble for this kind of thing before, having been charged with indecent exposure at least three times before and two counts of stalking.

Harrison Twp., PA – James Histand, 54, was driving along in his Subaru station wagon Sunday evening and somehow managed to get his vehicle stuck in some muck. A most helpful and friendly neighbor, 62-year-old Patrick McNally, came to his rescue with his Ford pickup. After a bit of heaving and hoeing, McNally freed the grocery getter from the mud. Once both vehicles were back on solid ground, McNally laid down on the road to unhook the chain connecting the vehicles. As he was doing that, Histand hit the gas – running over his helpful and friendly neighbor’s face with his left front tire. Police said Histand then called 911 and drove away, only to return on a tractor 20 minutes later. Why a tractor? I have no friggin’ clue, but police believe alcohol was probably a factor. After Histand returned to the scene, he was arrested and charged with two counts of driving under the influence of alcohol or drugs and “numerous summary offenses.” McNally was transported to the hospital for moderate injuries to his face and has since been released.…

OHIO – A chemistry teacher at Madison High School has resigned after admitting he tried to solicit a 13-year-old girl over the Internet. 58-year-old Robert Fickenscher has been accused of using his home computer to try and talk the teen girl, who was actually an undercover officer, into meeting him at a motel for sex in exchange for wine coolers. Reports are that Fickenscher sent sexually explicit webcam videos, including some of him wearing women’s underwear and performing a striptease. I’m sure that last act must have really been the highlight of that undercover officer’s day. Fickenscher plead guilty to one count of criminal attempted unlawful contact with a minor and one count of criminal use of a computer. Since he is a teacher and didn’t anally rape an infant on a stack of dead kittens while praising Satan in the middle of a classroom full of children, he had been on paid leave since he was charged in November.…

Yet another great forum post from Whisperswing! According to authorities, 25-year-old Gayle Kelson boarded a city bus with her toddler early Saturday morning and after positioning the child’s stroller on the bus, took off – leaving 2½-year-old Gabrielle behind. The bus driver yelled after the woman, something along the lines of “Hey! Hey you! You forgot your kid!” but Kelson paid him no mind and just kept walking. The driver radioed police and the woman was apprehended a short time later and placed under arrest. So far, there is no explanation as to why she chose a city bus as a toddler dumping ground. Source: WSVN

Oklahoma City, OK – Police responded to the Petro truck stop Saturday morning after witnesses reported seeing a “black male in a maroon SUV trying to pimp out two very young girls.” One truck driver told police that while he was parked in the lot, a 16-year-old girl knocked on his door and asked him if “he wanted some company.” Officers stopped the SUV in the parking lot and found Michael Blackmon, 42, and Wendolyn Ward, 36, inside the vehicle with six children, ages 9 to 17. According to authorities, Ward is mother to four of the children and aunt to two. Blackmon’s relationship to Ward and the kids hasn’t been confirmed. Both Ward and Blackmon were placed under arrest on suspicion of promoting juvenile prostitution and both being held on $2,000 bail. All six kids were turned over to DHS. Police state that it is unclear whether any of the children, aside from the 16-year-old, were being used as prostitutes. Huh. When my kidlets and I are looking for a little weekend entertainment, we usually head to the amusement park – the truck stop is soooo yesterday… …