Drunk Monkey Attacks With Knife

[Valasca]

Stop us if you’ve heard this one before: A monkey walks into a bar, drinks some rum, grabs a kitchen knife and begins chasing customers.

The drunk and belligerent monkey terrorized customers in a Brazilian bar in the eastern state of Paraiba on Feb. 5.

Firefighters were called to remove the monkey before it hurt any patrons.

“It was a bar oversight that ended with the monkey drinking some rum and taking the knife,” Fire Lt. Col. Saul Laurentino told aRede, a Brazilian news site.

The monkey was only out for male patrons, Laurentino said, leaving the women alone.

 

[Keepalowprofile]

Bastard.

 

[LurkinLion]

I don't know. If I was kept as a pet and trotted out to amuse drunk bar patrons, I know I'd grab the first knife I could reach and do a lot more than threaten. I think the monkey was actually pretty reasonable.

 

[sum bitch]

Jesus I'm scared of him/her without a knife.Why would they let the animal drink booze?That is so stupid.

 

[rod2pop]

Shit, looks like that little fucker knows how to use that thing. And maybe even enjoy it.

Monkeys and knives don't mix. Monkeys and booze don't mix. Monkeys and women don't mix, otherwise you'd see them in beastiality videos. It's usually a dog or horse.