Chicago, IL — Last week we had a story about a family getting kicked off a JetBlue flight because of an unruly toddler, now we got an American Airlines flight attendant getting kicked off her plane because of a possible mental breakdown.

Passengers on flight 2332 got a bit of a FINAL DESTINATION moment Friday morning when one of the flight attendants could be heard over the intercom speaking in and out of Spanish, stating that if the plane took off it was going to crash.

“She made two comments, that if we didn’t go back to the gate we would crash,” said passenger Stephen Termunde. “It was almost like she was talking, and didn’t know the PA was on.”

Other flight attendants tried to get the intercom phone out of her hands and even enlisted the help of some first class passengers. One of those passengers said it took about five people to restrain her.

“I grabbed her arms, there were about four of us, I guess, five of us, including the flight attendants who actually sat her back down in my seat,” Kevin Ritch said.…

Staten Island, NY — Police say a New York woman suffocated inside a clothing drop box after she climbed inside to steal donated clothing.

Yesterday around noon, 51-year-old Melissa Mazzeo climbed into the large metal box located on the side of Victory Superette and Bagels. When she tried to get out, karma paid a visit and the box’s door swung down on her neck.

A witness heard Mazzeo’s screams and ran inside the bagel shop for help. When one of the shop’s employees went out to assist, he found poor Mazzeo unresponsive with her head and hands sticking outside the box.

“Two hands and a head, that’s it, just out the door,” the man said. “Not a sight to see.”

Mazzeo must have really been wedged in there because she stayed that way for a few hours. Neither police or rescue workers were able to free her until someone came and removed the lock.

A spokesperson for the New York Police Department said Mazzeo has a history of stealing clothing from the donation boxes and often had a shopping cart and a hook she used to remove the donated clothes.…

Boston, MA – Dr. Colette Vieau and her family, a husband and two young daughters, had boarded a JetBlue flight back to Boston from the luxurious island of Turks and Caicos when they were told to get off.  The reason?  Their two-year-old, Natalie, was throwing a fit and refused to be seated.

In a courageous show of force, the girl’s parents finally managed to wrangle the beast and restrain her with a seat belt, holding her in place.  Dr. Vieau, who states her family were never belligerent, angry or screaming, then said to a flight attendant, “We have them seated.  Can we go now?”

It was at that point that the flight attendant informed them the pilot had already decided, for the safety of all customers and crewmembers on board, that the family be removed from the plane.

JetBlue released a statement explaining the pilot came to this decision because the family “did not comply with crewmember instructions for a prolonged time period.”

There were no more flights that night, and the family reports that they spent $2,000 for a hotel and new flights. …

Nantes, France — An unidentified Frenchman from the rural village of Vern d’Anjou is suing Google after having been photographed by a Street View camera while peeing in his garden.

The photo (seen here), taken in November 2010, subsequently appeared on the Google maps website.  When the man discovered his photo online, he was understandably p… outraged.

“Everyone has the right to a degree of secrecy,” his lawyer, Jean-Noel Bouillard, told news reporters.

It was reported that the man thought that he was hidden from view by a closed gate as he urinated but, despite this, the elevated camera of the Google Street View vehicle was able to capture his image over the gate. The man – whose face and nearby license plate were blurred in the photo to hide his identity – claimed in the lawsuit that he was still recognized and that the photograph made him ‘the laughing stock’ of his village of 3000 residents.

The excruciating taunts that the man has been forced to endure presumably include questions such as “Why did you feel the need to hide behind a locked gate to pee in the first place?” and “Why did you not turn toward the camera upon realizing that you had the opportunity – nay, privilege – of peeing in full view of the world?” The hiding of public urination is seen as very suspicious in France.…

Sofa King Banned

March 2, 2012 at 10:15 am by  

Northampton, UK – The UK furniture retailer Sofa King came under fire when an advertisement in a local newspaper – using their 9-year-old slogan – drew complaints from three readers.

From it’s early beginnings, Sofa King has taken pride in the particular way that they do business. Customers were assured that the prices they were paying were not just low – they were Sofa King low! …and the delivery wasn’t just fast – it was Sofa King fast!

But, alas, an era has ended… The recent review by the UK Advertising Standards Authority (ASA) stemming from the reader’s objections resulted in one inescapable conclusion – their slogan is Sofa King offensive that it should not be used.

“The ASA noted that the phrase ‘Sofa King Low’ used the advertiser’s company name – but considered that it could be interpreted as a derivative of the swear word ‘f***’, which consumer research had found to be a word so likely to offend that it should not be used in ads at all, even when it was relevant to the name of a product,” the industry watchdog group explained.…

Munich, Germany – Remember your shock and dismay when, as a teen, you first ran across the strap-on that your mom used on your dad? If so, you have an idea of the trauma that has been caused to a 15-year-old German girl who – while flipping television channels – saw her parents on a program about swingers and sex clubs.

After reportedly stumbling upon the television program, the girl had the displeasure of seeing her mother wearing stockings and suspenders in a cage with her father nearby dressed as Batman while holding a sex toy. The resulting ’emotional upset for their daughter’ prompted the couple to file a lawsuit against the German station RTL for ‘massive damages.’

An inquiry established that the production company responsible for producing the report for RTL was supposed to pixelate the couple’s faces – but reportedly ‘forgot.’ “Forgot,” of course, is television industry shorthand for “the pixelation process is really difficult with a donut in one hand and your johnson in the other.”

Despite the hard evidence, the parents were disappointed when told by the presiding judge that, in order to proceed with the lawsuit, the girl would have had to appear in court to testify and describe her shock – further deepening her trauma.…

Virginia Beach, VA – When April Portis brought her 11-month-old, Jahmai, to Virginia Beach, VA to meet his grandparents for the first time, she expected the elegant splendor that only a Motel 6 can provide. Sadly, lurking behind the attentive wait-staff, the fine appointments, and seductively ornate decor was a dark side…

While the family was in their rented accomodation, the grandmother reportedly notice that the child – who is teething – had a spoon of unknown origin in his mouth.

“She looked at it and she’s like ‘look at this,'” Portis said. “I took it from her [and] the back of the spoon was all burnt up and [on] the top of the spoon was the residue from the cocaine on it.”

Portis called police who tested the spoon for cocaine. With the spoon testing positive, our jittery teether was then rushed to the hospital.

After returning from the hospital, Motel 6 executives dutifully refunded Portis the fee for that night and moved the family to another room. In a clear demonstration of their commitment to excellence, the new room was thoroughly inspected by one of the establishment’s personnel in the presence of the family.…

Hope Mills, NC – Sheriff’s deputies were called to a North Carolina McDonald’s restaurant in response to a report of a customer blocking the drive-up window. Deputies say that they arrived to find Evangeline Marrero Lucca, 37, blocking the window while engaged in a stand-off with employees.

According to employees, the incident began with Lucca pulling up to the drive-up window without first ordering from the order screen and after bypassing the payment window. According to Debbie Tanna, a Sheriff’s Office spokeswoman, Lucca instead attempted to order her food directly at the pick-up window.

“She did not want to wait in line,” Tanna said. “They told her she had to go around and wait like everybody else did and place her order that way, that they weren’t set up at that window to take her order or take her money. … She wasn’t having any of that.”

“The woman refused to move her vehicle and became confrontational with the employees,” Tanna added.

Witness/Customer Anthony Rich said the employee at the payment window told him the woman frequently comes to the restaurant and cuts in line.…

Huntington, WV – A Marshall University student has filed suit in Cabell County Court seeking compensation for injuries suffered in the unfortunate aftermath of an anal bottle rocket launch gone awry.

Louis Helmburg III claims that on May 1, 2011, he attended an Alpha Tau Omega house party with his girlfriend. At about 1:30 a.m., Helmburg says Alpha Tau Omega member Travis Hughes “decided that it would be a good idea to shoot bottle rockets out of his anus.”

The lawsuit says that, “instead of launching, the bottle rocket blew up in [Hughes’] rectum” causing Helmburg to be “startled,” “jump back,” subsequently fall off the balcony where the failed launch occurred. Helmburg then became “lodged between the deck and an air conditioner unit adjacent the deck.”

Helmburg’s lawsuit claims that “firing bottle rockets out of one’s own anus constitutes an ‘ultra-hazardous’ activity,” a claim that clearly ignoring the thousands – nay, tens of thousands – of successful anal bottle rocket launches occurring on college campuses each year worldwide.

The lawsuit names The Alpha Tau Omega Fraternity Inc., of Huntington, West Virginia, and Travis Hughes, as defendants exposed to strict liability.…

New York, NY – Susanna Barrett, pageant mother of 5-year-old “Toddlers & Tiaras” star Isabella Barrett, has filed a $30 million libel suit against three media outlets in which she claims that their reporting tried to ‘sexualize’ her youngster’s performance in an online video.

In response to the kindergartner’s ‘innocent’ rendition of the LMFAO song “I’m Sexy and I Know It,” Barrett claims that, The Huffington Post and London’s Daily Mail all “brazenly attempt to sexualize” the girl by “claiming she was gyrating in a nightclub and singing about her sex appeal.”

While the child was singing the song in a nightclub, and the song is a first person account of the singer being sexy, Barrett points out that her daughter does not, in fact, understand “sexiness.” Consequently, the media’s portrayal of her daughter’s performance as ‘sexy’ is, well, just crazy talk!

Not only that… the lawsuit points out that the youngster could not have been gyrating because “she was sitting down.” Well, duh, clueless media outlets!

The video can be seen below this article, if you would like to experience the mother’s outrage for yourselves.…

Charleston, SC — Some passengers on a Carnival cruise to the Bahamas had their vacation altered when one of their fellow passengers died after he jumped over a second floor railing and landed in the ship’s lobby.

Not a lot of information on what led to the 26-year-old tourist taking the fatal plunge while the Fantasy was docked in Nassau last Friday night, but one news article is calling it a suicide.

Another article has passengers on the ship saying there were multiple rumors floating around, including the man was despondent after losing money while gambling. Another report says the man fell after trying to jump from one floor to another.

Whatever the reason, the man’s last images were a depressing blur of white women with braided hair, neon, glass and marble as witnesses say he never regained consciousness after landing, and was later pronounced dead at the scene.

The ship departed Charleston, South Carolina on Wednesday for a five-day Bahamas cruise, but the Saturday trip to Freeport was cancelled as police continued their investigation.…

It all happened so fast, I barely had time to write about it let alone get my hands on one of these winners. Within two days of posting it to their webstore, Disney took it back down. Let me explain.

I came across this Pitchfork article the other day and nearly spit out my lunch. Without reading the details of the article and only seeing the image of the shirt I guffawed uncontrollably, more than mildly in shock as to what I was seeing. Disney had paid tribute to Ian Curtis, the lead singer of Joy Division who hung himself in 1980. In a sicker twist, without looking much more into the matter, Disney had unwittingly paid tribute to the Nazis.

All of this by ape-ing the cover of their Unknown Pleasures album which was released in 1979. Once music sites started sprouting up with the glaring contradiction to Disney’s “happiest place on earth” motif, they hastily removed it from their site and stores. A representative from Disney said “As soon as we became aware there could be an issue, we pulled it from our shelves and our online store to review the situation further.”

You’d think it was a far stretch but it’s not.…

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