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Vero Beach, FL — This lovely young lady was jailed last week after allegedly slashing her live-in boyfriend’s face with a knife because he wasn’t in the mood for nookie.

Police were called to the home 27-year-old Katherine Nieves Tavarez shares with her boyfriend, Amaury Vazquez Carrero, early Thursday morning, and were greeted by a bloodied Tavarez at the door. No, the blood wasn’t hers.

While speaking to Tavarez, the officer noticed Carrero, with blood on his face, drop to the floor. When the officer asked the man what happened, Carrero replied, “She hit me with a knife! I can’t see!”

According to Carrero, Tavarez, who had been drinking that day, made it crystal clear that she was looking to get a little. Carrero, however, was apparently on a different page. Denied, several times over, Tavarez proceeded to throw a bitch fit. At that point, Carrero says, he retreated to the patio.

He told police a screaming Tavarez was hot on his heels, armed with a large, silver kitchen knife.…

ST ALBANS, WV – Police have arrested a man after he huffed spray paint then beat his mother over the head with a spatula.

Glenn Allen Casdorph loves paint. His mother? Maybe not so much.

About 10:45 PM last Thursday, September 13th, police in St. Albans, West Virginia were dispatched to a residence in reference to a domestic incident involving injuries.

That’s cop-speak for “Glenn’s up to his old tricks again.”

When they arrived, officers found Glenn Allen Casdorph, 30, AKA “Casdorph the Destroyer,” AKA “Squirrel,” sitting on a bench in the front yard, brandishing a steel bar and besmeared with copious amounts of silver spray-paint.

It is a well-known fact to connoisseurs of spray paint that the silver and gold varietals have both the best bouquet and the best buzz. And Casdorph the Destroyer is no novice when it comes to huffing paint.

Having dealt with Casdorph multiple times in relation to his predilection for solvent abuse, his condition was probably not surprising to responding officers. And given his history of responding violently to anyone who attempted to curtail his illicit love of fluorocarbons, what they found in the house probably didn’t surprise them either.…

FORT PIERCE, FL – Police in Florida arrested a man for giving his girlfriend a “wet willy” during an argument.

Ah, Florida Man. You are crude, violent and shameless, bereft of common sense and common decency, and inevitably oh-so-entertaining.

And you are prone to stick your willy where it doesn’t belong.

Sometimes it’s an underaged orifice, sometimes it’s just an unreceptive one. Sometimes it’s a knothole in a fence or even a dead animal.

Sometimes it’s not even really a willy.

St. Lucie County, Florida denizen Joseph Jean Sireci, 47, took domestic abuse into the realm of the ludicrous in a quintessential Homo floridius manner.

On August 15th, Sireci’s better half came home from a long day at work to find him laying on the living room floor, unshaven and stinking of booze, drunk as a blind weasel and just as testy.

Sources don’t specify, but I imagine she had something to say to his worthless ass. He definitely had something to say back.

She would later tell authorities that Sireci was “arguing with her and being rude,” so she decided to take the kids and go to a friend’s house.…

MOUNT VERNON, WA – Police arrested a man after he admitted to cutting off his girlfriend’s head in front of their 3-year-old daughter because God told him to.

Vanessa Cons, 27, and Timothy Hernandez, 32, lived together with their 3-year-old daughter at the home of Hernandez’s parents.

On Sunday Hernandez’s parents left to go to church. When they returned a few hours later they were greeted by a horrific site.

Cons was lying dead on the floor with her decapitated head positioned on her back like some kind of macabre art exhibit.

The couple called police to report what they had found while also letting them know their son and his daughter were not at the home.

When police arrived they found that, aside from having her head sawed off, Cons had also suffered multiple stab wounds to her back, neck and to the back of her head.

A butcher knife was found in the sink with a clean blade but with blood and hair on the handle.

Police would locate Hernandez with his daughter at the nearby Cascade Mall, where Hernandez would readily admit that he was responsible for killing Cons.…

FUQUAY-VARINA, NC – Police serving an eviction order at a home had to call firefighters equipped with hazardous-materials because of the intense smell of shit and piss inside the house.

There’s stink, and then there’s stank.

Stink is “it smells like something died.”

Stank is “it smells like something crawled up in an unwiped ass, took a shit, and died.”

Just ask the poor bastards who had to evict a less-than-fastidious female from her dogshit-defiled domicile in good old Fuquay-Varina, North Carolina.

Police went to remove a 50-year-old tenant from a house on Monday morning and encountered an odor so malevolent and vile that they had to execute a tactical retreat and call for backup.

The small house contained no furniture, but what it lacked in chattel it more than made up for in critters.

Specifically, it contained “14 dogs, eight cats, two rabbits and two ferrets” and enough animal waste to hold the cops at bay indefinitely.

They said “fuck it.”

Firefighters wearing haz-mat gear were required to extract the animals from the house; Wake County Animal Control officers wouldn’t get any closer than the yard.…

FOREST CITY, NC — No charges will be filed against the 15-year-old girl who shot and killed her mother’s abusive boyfriend.

Who wants to end the week on a happy note?

I do! I do!

Steven Kelley is such an asshole, he had to leave Indiana.

He had active domestic violence protection orders on his sorry ass from two different women in two different states, and I guess they made things pretty hot for him. So he loaded up the truck and he moved to Forest City. N.C., that is.

Of course, you can’t be a wife-beater without a wife, so Kelley brought along his new punching bag, girlfriend Chandra Nierman, 44, and her kids: a 12-year-old son and 15- and 16-year-old daughters. He should have left the kids in Indiana.

Changes in latitude, changes in attitude? Yeah, right. Different state, same old shit. He was up to his old tricks in no time.

Constant threats became action on August 4th, when Kelley started beating on Nierman and fired off a couple of rounds inside the house to make his point.…

HOUSTON, TX – Two children cried and begged for their lives as their father brutally murdered them before calling his wife to say he’d left her a present.

On Saturday, Sabine Ntongo dropped 8-year-old Marcel Ndossoka and 1-year-old Anna-Belle Faith Ndossoka at their father’s apartment.

Ntongo had recently separated with the children’s father, 61-year-old Jean Pierre Ndossoka, after six years of marriage.

She was leaving the children with Ndossoka so he could visit with them while she went to work.

Later that day, Ndossoka began calling his estranged wife at her job, telling her he’d killed their kids and that he’d left her a present at his apartment.

When police arrived and made entry into Ndossoka’s apartment, they found his two children on his bed with their throats slit.

Officers also found a bloody knife and a note written by Ndossoka in which he states Ntongo would be the one to “carry the burden” of her children’s souls.

Ndossaka wasn’t at the scene when police arrived but was found the next day in his car suffering from a self-inflicted, but not life-threatening, gunshot wound.…

TYSONS CORNER, VA — A mother has been arrested after she shot her two daughters, killing her 5-year-old and critically injuring another.

On Sunday night, a 911 call was made by 33-year-old Veronica Youngblood who stated she had just killed her two daughters.

When Fairfax County police officers arrived at her apartment they did not find Youngblood but did find her two daughters had been shot.

One of the girls, 5-year-old Brooklynn Youngblood, had been shot in the head and was pronounced dead at the scene. Her old sister was still alive and rushed to the hospital where she is in critical condition.

A short time later a was made to 911 from an acquaintance of Youngblood’s who told the dispatcher that Youngblood arrived at their residence and that there was “cause for concern.”

When police arrived at that location they found Youngblood as well as the gun they believe was used to shoot her two daughters.

Youngblood was arrested and charged with murder. She’s currently being held at the Fairfax County Adult Detention Center without bond.…

LEXINGTON COUNTY, SC – Police say the former leader of the South Carolina Republican Party killed his mother’s dog because he is Jesus Christ and God commanded him to.

Meet Todd Kincannon. He’s bat-shit crazy.

He used to be a mover and a shaker. At one point, the 37-year-old South Carolina man was the executive director of the SC Republican Party. Now he’s the reborn son of a vengeful, dog-smiting god.

His downhill slide has been ongoing for a few years. In April of 2015, he was arrested for criminal domestic violence when he got a bit nutty during an altercation with his wife.

Ashley Griffith told authorities that the two began arguing during the car ride home from an unspecified event on March 26th of that year, when a profanity-laced tirade, complete with homicidal threats, caused Griffith to “fear for her life.”

Growing even angrier, Kincannon began to drive erratically at high speed, running red lights and scaring Griffith so badly that she began shouting to other motorists for help and even tried to exit the vehicle while it was moving.…

LAS VEGAS, NV — Police have arrested to teen brothers after they say the siblings stabbed and bludgeoned their mother to death as she fought for her life.

On July 30, a man from Idaho called police and asked them to perform a welfare check at the home of 46-year-old Dawn Liebig.

The man said he could not get in contact with her and that he did not trust the woman’s two adopted sons who lived with her.

When deputies arrived at the woman’s home they talked with her two sons, 17-year-old Dakota Saldivar and 17-year-old Michael Wilson. They initially told police they had no idea where their mother was and that she had disappeared.

Police were skeptical and decided to question the teens further. It was then the teens changed their story. Their mother was, in fact, dead.

She was suicidal, see, and the brothers said she asked them to stab her to death. One of the teens took police to a shallow grave that contained Liebig’s body while the other took police to the hidden murder weapons.…

CHANDLER, AZ – A man in Arizona has been arrested after he allegedly slit his 89-year-old grandmother’s throat because he was tired of caring for her.

Early Sunday morning, 30-year-old Brandon Smith called 911 to report his grandmother was not breathing and looked like she had been beaten up.

When officers arrived at the apartment Smith shared with his grandmother, they found 89-year-old Helen Smith stabbed to death inside a bathroom.

Brandon had already left the scene before police arrived but was taken into custody shortly afterward. According to police (and his booking photo), Brandon was under the influence of drugs and\or alcohol.

Police say Brandon told them that he was frustrated that he was the only one in the family taking care of his grandmother, who suffered from dementia.

That morning, Helen had urinated on herself so Brandon took her to the bathroom for a shower. Agravated, Brandon slapped his grandmother so hard she fell unconscious in the tub.

Not wanting his grandmother to live like this anymore, Brandon told police he decided to end her suffering.…

COLORADO SPRINGS, CO – Police say a man dodged a bullet after he was stabbed to death by his fiancé during an argument over a proposed wedding guest.

At around 12:30 a.m Saturday, 31-year-old Jacqueline Souza called 911 to report her fiancé, 33-year Brandon Watkins, was bleeding and had dropped to the floor in their kitchen.

When emergency officials arrived they found Watkins bleeding on the floor with a bloody kitchen knife on a table nearby. Watkins was taken to the hospital but did not survive his injuries.

When questioned by investigators, Souza said she and Watkins had been at a bar celebrating their upcoming wedding and Watkins’ new job.

They got into an argument on the way when Watkins said he wanted to invite one of his ex-girlfriends to their wedding. Souza was angry about this because she felt Watkins was still in a sexual relationship with the woman.

Now here is where Souza’s story changed a couple of times. First she said after arriving home she came out of the bathroom and found Watkins on the kitchen floor with a knife in his chest — suggesting an intruder was the culprit.…


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