When Brandi (Mena Suvari) isn’t working as a nurses aide at a retirement home hosing the shit off of elderly men’s asses, she’s partying in the clubs; drinking and popping Ecstasy supplied to her by her drug-dealing boyfriend. Overall things are going pretty good for Brandi and after her boss informs her she’d like to reward all her hard work with a promotion, things look like they’re going to get even better. But after leaving a club fuggered up one early morning, a fly gets into Brandi’s ointment in the form of a pedestrian in her windshield. Thomas Bardo (Stephen Rea) is a sad sack having a really bad day. A string of bad luck has left him unemployed and recently without a place to live. As he is making his way to a shelter to spend the night, he is hit by a momentarily distracted Brandi when he crosses the street in front of her car. The impact leaves Thomas with shattered legs and stuck half-in, half-out of Brandi’s windshield.…

Review – PARANORMAL ACTIVITY 2

October 22, 2010 at 10:19 am by  

First off, let me state for the record that I’m a fan of Oren Peli‘s PARANORMAL ACTIVITY (our review) even if I did feel it barely survived the crushing weight of the hype that was heaped upon it. A lot of this had to do with the fact that I had watched the version that made the rounds at film festivals years a couple years before it made it to the theaters. I thought the minimalistic approach was extremely effective and achieved at giving me goosebumps on a couple occasions. The rest is history after a successful marketing campaign that got the film into theaters and asses in the seats, leading to a film with a budget of $11,000 making $194 million worldwide and becoming an entry into the annals of pop culture history. One of my issues with the film was the re-vamped ending that led to the possibilities of a sequel, something that wasn’t possible with the original version. So when it was officially announced that there was going to be a follow-up, I honestly had no hopes for it, envisioning a slightly better PARANORMAL ENTITY.…

Review Of MASTER OF THE FLYING GUILLOTINE (1975)

October 16, 2010 at 9:52 am by  

Well it’s Saturday morning and while I sat here checking out headlines while waiting for some coffee to finish brewing, I figured this was as good as time as any to get a few film reviews posted that have been cluttering up our queue a bit. Today I chose MASTER OF THE FLYING GUILLOTINE and trust me when I say that it’s not for the ladies. It’s an old school, kung fu flick from the ’70s and most know that ’70s kung fu flicks often work as very effective vagina repellent. But this one is a campy, good time containing a flying device that decapitates people, a villain with telescopic arms and a score consisting of early ’70s electronica. Over the years the film gets referenced in other media and garnered a cult following that includes Quentin Tarantino, who pays homage to MASTER multiple times in his film KILL BILL VOL I. Trust me, MASTER really is a blast to watch and is currently available via Netflix for those of you who are interested in some drive-in, grind house goodness.…

Review Of THE LOVED ONES (2009)

October 14, 2010 at 3:42 pm by  

Okay, I’ve reviewed two crappy horror films, so here’s one to make up for that and then some. I had read a bit about this Australian horror film last year when it was making the rounds at all the film festivals I’m not worthy of being invited to. I heard it was a mix of old and new horror that was a tad similar to Peter Jackson’s splatter days before LORD OF THE RINGS. “That’s great,” I thought, but I didn’t really get my interest piqued until EFX Magazine described THE LOVED ONES as WOLF CREEK meets PRETTY IN PINK. Now, I still don’t know who the hell EFX Magazine is, but you have to admit that the combination of those two films is pretty interesting. Well, almost a year after all those other sites got to see the film, I was finally able to watch THE LOVED ONES the other night, and, yeah, EFX Magazine’s description is a pretty accurate one and I loved it. Check out the trailer that reveals a tad too much and then my thoughts on this sometimes intense, occasionally sick flick whose humor is consistently dark as pitch.…

Review – Slashers (2001)

October 14, 2010 at 9:23 am by  

More blasts from the past as I clear out a backlog of reviews of films you probably shouldn’t waste your time watching unless you are like me and just like watching bad films. Today’s film is SLASHERS, a direct-to-video horror flick reportedly made on an $150,000 budget. In the film, the most watched show in Japan is a live reality show titled “Slashers” where viewers watch as contestants are voluntarily placed in a funhouse type maze they must navigate for a cash prize. Hindering their progress are characters called Slashers that pursue the contestants ensuring they are not able to collect their winnings by making them suffer bloody, violent deaths to the delight of the viewing audience. SLASHERS takes place at the beginning of the show’s very first all-American edition and to help celebrate this special occasion the producers are populating the maze with two of the nastiest Slashers in their arsenal, Chainsaw Charlie and Dr. Ripper, while also introducing a brand new Slasher called The Preacherman. Will any of the contestants survive this special episode by outwitting the Slashers and collect the $12 million prize?…

Review – The Last Night (1983)

October 13, 2010 at 11:16 am by  

I’ve got a backlog of horror movie reviews written up that I need to get out of our queue, so why not start with a forgotten, ultra low-budget slasher oddity from the UK. It involves a group of stage actors held captive by two psychopaths during the last night of their play, MURDER IN THE DARK. The turnout during the run of the play has been disappointing, continuously being performed in front of a mostly empty house but tonight’s attendance should fair better as it’s the final show with friends and family expected to be there for a birthday party being held after the show. Just before the show begins, two psychopaths on the run after breaking out of a maximum security facility have decided to take refuge in the theater. While there they hold the cast and crew hostage forcing them to play a sadistic game. They threaten to kill their friends off stage if the actors on stage do not go on with the show.…

Review Of THE WILD HUNT (2009)

September 12, 2010 at 3:24 pm by  

I became interested in this film back when I read the synopsis while checking out movies playing at the 2010 SLAMDANCE film festival, where it would win the Audience Award. It deals with the world of live action role-playing, or LARP, where players dress up as characters and then act them out, mostly in the fantasy setting. Not my kinda thing, but I admit I find the activity, and the people who play, interesting subject matter. The events in THE WILD HUNT take place over a weekend larping event, when Erik decides to crash the make-believe festivities to win back Evelyn, the girlfriend he feels he’s losing to the fantasy world of Norse myth. She was invited by Erik’s deadbeat brother, who currently only lives for the game, so she can play the major role of a Viking princess kidnapped by the rival Celtic shaman. She is to be sacrificed to start the Wild Hunt, a Celt ceremony that marks the beginning of the big battle that concludes the weekend’s game.…

Review Of THE LAST EXORCISM (2010)

August 29, 2010 at 2:26 pm by  

What a pleasant surprise — two horror films I wasn’t really looking forward to but walked out of the theater satisfied after watching them. The first being PIRANHA 3D, the second being Daniel Stamm’s THE LAST EXORCISM. Even though we haven’t had a good straight-up exorcism movie in awhile — THE EXORCISM OF EMILY ROSE felt more like an episode of LAW AND ORDER than a horror movie — the previews for this one just weren’t selling me. Seemed like another PG-13 horror film full of quick-edits and lame jump scares aimed at teens. Boy, was I wrong. THE LAST EXORCISM delivers some decent chills with a story a bit more layered than just small-town-preacher-meets-potentially-demon-possessed-young-girl. It’s also a story with some fairly heavy themes, such as morality, the belief in a God, and blind faith. Check out the trailer after the break, even though it really doesn’t accurately reflect the movie (and gives away a bit too much in the process) and then my heavily edited, spoiler-free thoughts.…

If you have a Netflix account there is a documentary available to Watch Instantly you should check out. DEAR ZACHARY: A LETTER TO A SON ABOUT HIS FATHER is a film made by Kurt Kuenne after his childhood friend, Andrew Bagby, is murdered by a psychotic ex-girlfriend. Kuenne sets out to create a memorial consisting of interviews with every person who ever knew Andrew, but after his accused killer announces she is pregnant with Andrew’s baby, DEAR ZACHARY turns into something else entirely. I gotta tell ya’, I was not expecting to go through the range of emotions this film put me through. I laughed a little, I got furious and yes readers, Morbid felt his tear ducts choke out a bit of stale air after feeling the charred strings of his black heart being tugged. But be warned that this isn’t a Hollywood creation — it’s brutal, unforgiving reality. So if you are the type of person that takes the stories featured here to heart and find yourself effected by them days after reading them, you may want to stay away from the is one. …

Netflix Night With JUNE 9 (2008)

August 23, 2010 at 2:25 pm by  

I was perusing some of Netflix’s latest Instant Watch selections when I came across a title that surprisingly, I had never heard of. The film is about a group of  bored high-schoolers who during one week in June, decide to take a camera along to document themselves as they pull pranks on the residents of a neighboring town. In between harassing the locals, the group also investigate the small town’s local legends. Its all fun and games until they start pissing off more and more locals, and their boredom-fueled antics turn deadly. The ratings for the movie weren’t that high, and some of the comments on the film’s IMDB page didn’t leave me too hyped up to watch it, aside for one detail…the film is of the “found footage” variety ala THE BLAIR WITCH PROJECT — a film this one undoubtedly (and rightfully) will be compared to. I love this style of film when done correctly, and in the case of JUNE 9, they did alright. Check out the trailer for the film, and then check out my thoughts if you’re up to it.…

For any of you who had reservations on this remake of the Roger Corman classic, or who saw some of the trailers and said to yourself “that looks really retarded,” let me cast some of your fears aside as I join the others who watched this film and gave it a resounding seal of approval. It’s stupid, it’s over-the-top, and it’s a trashy good time chock full of gratuitous nudity and buckets of blood. Luckily the film knows exactly what it is and what fans of the original (and more so the sequels) expected. At no point did it seem that anyone was attempting to make high-brow cinema – from the director Alexandre Aja to the ensemble of movie veterans that made up PIRANHA’S cast. The film begins after a minor earthquake bridges a gap between a subterranean cavern allowing thousands of prehistoric piranha to spill into the popular Lake Victoria where their annual Spring Break celebrations are already well under way. Now a band of strangers must blah, blah, blah…who cares?…

Trailer Trash

August 19, 2010 at 11:45 pm by  

Let’s take a quick break from all the kid beating and semen and talk about another subject — movie trailers. One of my favorite parts of going to the movies is watching the trailers at the beginning. I rarely use them to gauge whether a movie will be any good or not, as they are just slick commercials. We used to feature trailers for certain upcoming films, and I’m gonna start doing it again. So if any of you wanna chime in with your thoughts about the trailer or the film itself, feel free. But since I’m behind, this is article features 10 trailers for some films coming soon that some of you may find interesting, especially if you are reading this site. I couldn’t fit all of the films coming out that I am interested in as that would have taken too long, so if there are new trailers out for some upcoming films you think readers of D’D may be interested in, feel free to let ’em know. …


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