About Jaded

Title: BaddBunnee
Published Articles: 2058
Website: The Dreamin' Demon

Bacon. That is all.

Stuart, FL — A 42-year-old man has been accused of punching his girlfriend, and striking her with a dildo, because she insulted his love making skills. *cough* whiskey dick! *cough*

Eric Pritsch was charged with battery following the incident, which was reported earlier this month.

According to the arrest affidavit, Pritsch’s girlfriend, 58-year-old Carol Favuzza, flagged down a deputy on February 7, and asked him to call police, as she had been assaulted. The officer apparently had to inform her he was the police.

Favuzza told the deputy Pritsch punched her in the face because, while they were copulating, she told him, “You’re not a man, you’re a mouse.”

Favuzza went on to say that Pritsch hit her in the back several times with a dildo and some sort of cord. The officer failed to find any marks on the woman’s back, but did notice swelling to her face. He also noticed the woman smelled strongly of alcohol.

Pritsch, also apparently shitfaced, denied striking the woman. According to him, he had been asleep for several hours.…

Flagler County, FL — William Walsh has been arrested and charged with child abuse after police say he smacked one young girl on the ass and tried to lure another away from her bus stop.

According to police, Walsh approached a 14-year-old girl in late January and said, “Hey, let me get some of that,” and slapped her on the ass.

The girl’s grandmother reported the incident to police, but deputies were unable to identify the man and closed the case. They did, however, beef up patrols in the area where the alleged ass slapping took place.

This past Friday, Walsh apparently approached an 8-year-old girl waiting at her bus stop and showed her a drawing of a puppy, telling her the dog was lost and he needed her help.

After speaking with parents and other children who got on and off the bus at that particular intersection, investigators learned that Walsh was almost a fixture at that bus stop and has tried talking to numerous children when there were no adults around.…

Mission, TX — Mario Cardona, 59, was taken into custody last week after a video showing him dragging his German Shepard behind his motorized scooter surfaced on Facebook.

The woman responsible for posting the video, Michelle Torrez, was heading out to run errands Thursday, when she spotted Cardona motoring down the sidewalk, the pup struggling as it was being dragged.

“I turn around. I see him dragging his dog from the middle of street. … I’m out of my car yelling at him, asking him, ‘What are you doing? What’s wrong with you?’ And he just keeps going, telling me to mind my own business, it’s his dog he can do whatever he wants,” Torrez claimed.

Torrez whipped out her phone and started recording. After calling the police, Torrez posted the video to her profile, where it quickly received thousands of views.

Cardona was arrested less than 24 hours later. He’s been charged with animal cruelty, and bond has been set at $10,000. His priors include assault, driving while intoxicated, criminal mischief and possession of cocaine.…

Norristown, PA — A day care teacher is jobless and facing charges after admitting to police that he sexually assaulted a 3-year-old girl in his care because she called him stupid.

Michael Barbee, 32, a teacher from the Early Learning Center Program of St. Francis Parish, was charged Saturday with involuntary deviate sexual intercourse, aggravated indecent assault, unlawful contact with a minor, and other related offenses.

According to a criminal complaint, police began investigating Barbee after the child apparently informed her parents that Mr.Michael covered her mouth and hurt her with his finger.

Barbee initially denied the accusation, but when faced with a polygraph, reportedly told police he forcibly touched the girl. He had his hand down her pants for about ten seconds, he said, and she said ‘ouch.’ And he claimed he did it because she called him stupid.

The Archdiocese of Philadelphia released this statement after Barbee’s arrest:

Mr. Michael Barbee, a teacher at the Early Learning Center Program of Saint Francis Parish in Norristown (Montgomery County) was placed on administrative leave on Friday, February 10th following notification to the parish that he was under investigation by law enforcement for an alleged criminal matter.

Daytona Beach, FL — Two grown ass men and a teenager were arrested Tuesday after allegedly beating a Navy Vet who asked them to stop torturing a turtle.

Gary Blough told police his wife had been walking outside with their toddler when she spotted the men knocking the turtle around.

Blough said the men were repeatedly slamming the turtle to the concrete, shell side down. He kindly asked them to stop, he said, and allow the turtle to get back to the water.

Unfazed, one of the little bitches, later identified as 18-year-old Johnnie Beveritt, reportedly picked up the turtle and threw it down on the sidewalk. The two other men, Ryan Ponder, 23, and a 16-year-old boy, kicked the turtle toward an apartment building away from the pond.

Blough then asked his wife to call police and attempted to rescue the injured turtle.

“They started hitting the back of my head and started punching me. I was able to fend off a little bit but I mean three of them, they got the better of me,” he said.…

Man Arrested After Stalking, Throwing Dog At Woman

February 11, 2017 at 8:33 pm by  

Lakeland, FL — Howard Van Sweringen has a name like an old timey cartoon villain and a police record after allegedly stalking a woman and tossing his dog at her.

Kristina Fuller, speaking with a reporter from WFLA, claims what started out as a normal Thursday morning quickly turned into a morning of OMGWTF. Basically.

Fuller was in the drop off line at Lakeland High, when an unfamiliar man cut in front of the line of school buses, blocking traffic, and waved her on and out. She waved a ‘thanks’ and went on her way.

After she pulled away from the school, she noticed the man was on her ass. Every corner she turned, there he was.

It was at a red light, she says, that shit took a turn for the bizarre.

“He got out of his vehicle, came up to my window and threw his dog on me. I thought it was going to bite me or something so I tossed the dog back at him. He got back in his vehicle and started hitting my truck, trying to push it into the intersection,” Fuller said.…

Merrimack, NH — Jodi Ecklund is facing a heap of charges after barricading herself in her apartment last Saturday, holding police at bay for several hours with threats of violence and death.

All this, police say, because of her boyfriend’s lackluster comment about the spaghetti dinner she dished up for him.

Jason Martin told police Ecklund made him a spaghetti dinner, asking him afterward what he thought about it. “It was OK,” he replied. It was then, he said, she went all kinds of bipolar on him.

Martin claims Ecklund punched him in the face and arm and scratched his hand. After he left the apartment, he said, Ecklund locked the door.

When police arrived on scene, they were informed by Martin that there were guns in the home — a Glock 9mm and a M4 rifle.

Police could hear Ecklund yelling inside of the apartment, screaming at them to “get the (bleep) out of there!” She threatened to kill the officers if they entered, and/or harm herself.

When police attempted to gain entrance, Ecklund told them to go right ahead….…

Lehigh Acres, FL — I’m sure the last thing you want to read about, as you eat your bagels and sip your morning cup of joe, is septuagenarian sex. Well, you’re gonna. Kinda.

Allow me to introduce 76-year-old Donald Royce. He’s currently nursing a ragin’ case of blue balls behind bars at the Gray Bar Motel, after shooting his 62-year-old bride in the booty for refusing to consummate their 6 months of wedded bliss.

Royce told police he didn’t intend to shoot the woman, he just wanted to scare her a little so she’d give in. Cause, you know, having a gun pointed at you is hot. He intended to shoot the mattress where the wifey was sitting, he said, but ended up hitting her in the ass and hip.

The couple’s roommate said she heard two gun shots, and when she went to see what happened, Royce pointed the gun at her. She says she convinced him to let her call to get his wife medical help.

When officers arrived at the home, Royce said, “I shot her and the gun is in my room.” He then said he felt bad when he realized she had actually been shot.…

Albuquerque, NM — After basically feeding a neighbor’s Shih Tzu to a couple of pit bulls, 30-year-old Marvin Riley reportedly chuckled and told police, “it’s just something he does.”

Riley’s South Valley neighbors have reason to believe the man set out to terrorize the entire neighborhood Tuesday.

He started his reign of terror by kicking in the door of one neighbor’s home, then beating him profusely in the face with a pair of pliers.

He then ended up in Bernadette Salazar’s yard. He scooped up her lap dog, Charlie Brown, and threw him into another neighbor’s yard. The two pit bulls that live at the home then destroyed the little ball of floof.

The owners of the pit bulls tried to pull their dogs away, but it was too late. Salazar holds no ill will toward the owners of the pit bulls, they were as shocked and devastated as she was.

“They tried to protect my dog, they tried to, but it just happened too fast,” Salazar said.

Riley is being held without bond, in the infirmary at the Metropolitan Detention Center.…

Washington DC — Convicted sex offender Matthew Stager is back in police custody after failing to show up at a transitional center after his release from prison.

Why, yes… I am posting this story based on the mugshot alone.

In addition to having a rap sheet that includes drug charges, assault, theft and defacing public property, 45-year-old Matthew Stager is also a convicted sex offender. He pleaded guilty to one count of indecent liberties with a minor girl back in 1999.

Ordered to register as a sex offender for life, Stager has been jailed countless times (8) for failing to register. As a matter of fact, he just finished a 5-year sentence for failing to register.

Stager was released from the Federal Correctional Complex in Petersburg, VA., on February 2nd and was escorted to the Richmond International Airport. He was ordered to fly to Austin, TX., where he was to check into a halfway house. Surprisingly, he never caught that plane.

His mugshot hit the internet, and the US Marshals asked for help in tracking the handsome fella down.…

Natalie, PA — A 56-year-old woman has died from a combination of trauma injuries and hypothermia after getting her arm stuck in a clothing donation box.

Judith Permar was apparently using a step ladder to reach into the box to remove the articles inside, police say. The ladder collapsed, which led to door slamming down on her left arm, breaking both the arm and the wrist. Permar, unable to free her arm, was left hanging from the box.

“She was fishing bags out and the ladder she was standing on gave way and she couldn’t get her hand loose,” Mount Carmel Township Police Chief Brian Hollenbush said.

Police say Permar went fishing for the clothing sometime around 2:00 Sunday morning and was found approximately six hours later.

Bags filled with clothing and shoes were reportedly found in the immediate vicinity, her black Hummer still idling nearby.

This wasn’t her first visit to the box that killed her…. police had received a report of a woman who was driving a black Hummer removing items from the bin back in November.…

Woman Shoots Boyfriend In Fight Over Cold Taco

February 9, 2017 at 5:01 am by  

Houston, TX — A woman upset with the temperature of her food truck taco has been accused of shooting her boyfriend.

According to authorities, the unidentified couple hit up a food truck just before 2:00 Monday morning. The taco the woman ordered was apparently a little on the cool side.

The woman got kinda pissy when the man in the window refused to warm said taco.

The boyfriend told the woman to calm down, and that’s when the gun came out and he got shot.

He apparently didn’t read the “Boyfriend Handbook.” Article 5 — Section 74-5-2(b) clearly states: “Do not tell the woman to “Calm down.” Especially if the word calm is used with a capital C. Even more especially if food is involved.” (Rule subject to change at any moment). I kid. There is no handboook… we make that shit up as we go along.

It is unclear at this point exactly where the man was shot. He is, however, expected to survive.

It is also unclear exactly who the woman was aiming(?) for, and whether the shooting was purely accidental.…


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