About Jaded

Title: BaddBunnee
Published Articles: 2058
Website: The Dreamin' Demon

Bacon. That is all.

Travis SchellingPhoenix, AZ — A 35-year-old man is facing numerous charges after allegedly assaulting his girlfriend over a misunderstanding of how Facebook works.

According to police, Travis Schelling thought other men were sending direct messages to his girlfriend on Facebook anytime one of her friend’s posts popped up on her feed. And every time he read one of those messages, he hit her. In addition to the hitting, police say, Schelling also violently shook the woman by her hair, ripping it out in clumps. It is believed that Schelling also sexually assaulted her.

Police say he held his girlfriend captive from about 11:30 Friday night to 3:00 Saturday morning, threatening to kill her, her family and her friends if she dared alert authorities. The woman finally convinced Schelling that she wasn’t going to tell, and he released her at about noon on Saturday.

Police said the victim had bruising on her face, arms, legs and a cut and swollen lip when she reported the incident.

Schelling has been booked on charges of kidnapping, sexual abuse, aggravated assault, threatening and intimidation.…

Joseph Andrew DekenippFlorence, AZ — An inmate at the Pinal County Adult Detention Center apparently escaped his cage Friday in order to spend Valentine’s day with his woman. *swoons*

Joseph Andrew Dekenipp, 40, was taken into custody at their rendezvous spot, the Gallopin’ Goose Saloon & Grill, about three hours after his escape. Witnesses say the police arrived at the bar just minutes after the girlfriend did.

Dekenipp didn’t just wander off the property, either — police say he had to scale a 12-foot fence, shimmy through some razor wire, and scale yet another wire-topped fence in order to leave the property. And what, exactly, did you do for your significant other for VDay? He was treated for his injuries prior to being returned to the facility.

Police are now trying to figure out if Dekenipp was assisted by any other inmates.

Dekenipp was initially jailed on suspicion of vehicle theft, trafficking in stolen property, unlawful flight, theft and driving on a suspended license on January 10 — bond was set at $5,000.…

O faceLouth, Lincolnshire — A 19-year-old man is facing charges after admitting to having shagged his girlfriend’s Staffordshire bull terrier.

Wayne Bryson‘s girlfriend was apparently searching for some photos on his old cell phone, when she came across a video that showed her beloved fucking her dog. She turned the cellphone over to police and Bryson was taken into custody.

I would have to assume the girlfriend hasn’t been able to stop showering or douching since…

When questioned, Bryson failed to explain why he fucked the pooch, like any kind of explanation would suffice, but did claim that it was just that one time. He also failed to explain why he would record that shit to begin with.

In addition to being busted for bestiality, Bryson is also facing drug charges — it alleged that he was found to be in possession of marijuana.

Bryson was granted bail on the condition that he stay the hell away from any and all critters.…

James JugoTampa, FL — A 52-year-old man has been charged with manslaughter after admitting to police that he pummeled his roommate to death after a disagreement about a stolen chicken foot.

According to police, the fight apparently began when 56-year-old Benjamin Calderon swiped said foot from the skillet James Jugo was attending to at the moment. It was apparently then that the beating commenced.

Wait…. people eat chicken feet? I’ve seen them in the meat department and shit, but I didn’t know people actually fried and consumed them. I thought that shit was used for voodoo and stuff. I can’t imagine sticking one of those things in my mouth….

Anyway, Jugo told police he beat Calderon to death with his fists, but a witness claims to have seen him swinging a wooden cutting board. At any rate, Calderon is very much dead — the autopsy revealed he suffered internal bleeding after being hit numerous times on the face, neck and elsewhere.

This, surprisingly, isn’t Jugo’s first brush with the law — he’s been arrested at least 19 times on charges that include burglary, cocaine possession, petty theft, probation violation, open container and possession of a dangerous dog.…

Ashley Marie PrenovostGlendale, AZ — A 24-year-old woman is facing several charges after allegedly pitching a fit and breaking stuff, and slightly injuring her infant, after her boyfriend refused to give her the D.

This may come as a surprise to none of you, but this isn’t the first time we’ve covered such a story. We got a beatin‘, a fish-hookin‘ and a dick bitin‘… just to name a few. Will you men never learn?

Anyway, police were called to the couple’s home Monday and found Ashley Marie Prenovost nekkid, bloody and drunk. It  is alleged that after the boyfriend refused coitus, Prenovost went on a rampage. Police say she punched a couple of holes in the bedroom wall and smashed a picture frame, causing injuries to both of her hands.

Then, for whatever reason, Prenovost picked up the four-month-old child she shares with her boyfriend, and began carrying her around the house, yelling and screaming and bleeding all over the place. At some point during the alleged tirade, the child’s head met a dresser.…

Man Goes Postal, Bites Mailman’s Leg

February 13, 2014 at 1:43 am by  

Robert KieferAkron, OH — This here is 25-year-old Robert Kiefer — he’s been accused of attacking a mailman, pepper spraying the dude and biting him multiple times, after a check he was expecting didn’t show.

According to the 56-year-old victim, when he learned the postman wasn’t delivering the aforementioned check, an agitated Kiefer snatched his pepper spray off his belt and squirted him in the eyes. This led to a wrestling match, of sorts, in the street. The mailman told police that while the two were struggling, Kiefer bit him on the leg three times.

The two were still at it when police arrived on scene. Kiefer still had a bit of fight left in him, and when officers tried to subdue him, he reportedly resisted. This earned him a pepper sprayin’.

The two were eventually pried apart and Kiefer was taken into custody. He was charged with assault and battery and resisting arrest, and was ordered held on $1,000 bond.

The mailman was treated at the scene for the bite wounds and a cut to the knee.…

Keri GonzalezManara, AZ — A 34-year-old woman was left with a broken ankle and a criminal record after allegedly jumping from the second-floor window of a 15-year-old boy after his mother caught her nekkid ass in his bedroom.

At about 2:00 a.m. on January 21, the boy’s mother heard some sort of knocking sound coming from his bedroom. When she attempted to investigate, she found the door was locked. The kid must have realized mom wasn’t leaving anytime soon and eventually allowed her into the bedroom. It was then, police say, that she spotted a naked female crouching on the floor near her son’s bed.

Mom demanded the woman leave the premises, and after the woman collected her clothing, she complied…. right out the window. After what I assume was a hard landing, the woman limped off down the street.

About 30 minutes later, the woman returned to the home and informed the boy’s mother that she had broken her ankle. Mom then realized the woman that had shagged her son was a family acquaintance … an acquaintance she had previously warned to stay away from her son after she was caught flirting with him.…

Daniel RomanCleveland, OH — The totally sane lookin’ fella to the right is Daniel Roman — police say he aimed a gun at his 9-year-old daughter and threatened to pull the trigger last month after the girl stepped on his dog’s tail.

The child, along with her siblings, were apparently visiting Roman for the weekend when the alleged incident occurred. It is unclear whether the child was purposely mistreating the dog, but according to police, Roman threatened her with, “Step on the dog’s tail again, and I will pull the trigger.”

Roman’s grandmother, who claims to have been at the home that particular weekend, told 19 Action News that her grandson did not make any threats towards the child. Police say, however, Roman also threatened his younger children, 7-year-old twins, with bodily harm if they breathed a word to anyone.

The children’s stepfather, when contacted by 19 Action News, had this to say to a reporter:

“He called us denying it so I knew there had to be some truth in it.…

Shaneka TorresGrand Rapids, MI — A 29-year-old woman is facing charges after allegedly poppin’ a cap in a McDonald’s drive thru window’s ass because the employees got her order wrong. Twice.

Shaneka Torres and an unidentified female placed their order at the drive thru early this morning, only to find out at the window that the employees had somehow screwed it up. I’m assuming a heated verbal altercation followed, because McDonald’s, and the two women were promised that their next meal would be free.

Police say the same two women visited the restaurant again at about 3:00 that same morning and placed another order. Again, the order was wrong. This time, though, the verbal altercation was escalated with a gun.

Police allege Torres reached over the driver of the vehicle and fired a bullet through the drive thru window before driving off. Fortunately, the bullet didn’t actually hit anyone, it just kinda exited through the other side of the building. Employees were pretty much clueless they had been fired upon — they thought a coffee pot exploded.…

Darrika DriverJonesboro, GA — Darrika Driver, 31, was taken into custody earlier this week for allowing her boyfriend, a man convicted for molesting her two daughters, to move back into her home. And if that isn’t shitty enough, police allege that upon his release from prison, the fucker molested Driver’s 14-year-old daughter, AGAIN, and captured the act on his cellphone.

Though it’s unclear at this point how long 22-year-old Natavious Mays was jailed for initially molesting the two girls, it’s painfully obvious that it wasn’t long enough.

Mays, who was on probation, was not on the property when authorities visited Driver to inquire about his whereabouts. Driver reportedly lied to police, claiming she had no idea where Mays lived. Bullshit was called. When the police returned to the woman’s home, they learned the two had beat feet and disappeared. Fortunately, their freedom was short-lived…. cops caught up with them a few days later and placed both under arrest.

Driver is being held without bond, charged with child cruelty and harboring a sex offender.…

Justin VanceLiberty, W VA — A 28-year-old man is being held on sexual assault charges after allegedly impregnating a 13-year-old autistic girl he was reportedly “mentoring.”

The victim’s family met Justin Vance through the Special Olympics while he was volunteering. He was helping the family with a couple of projects in their home and needed a place to stay, so they offered him their couch.

In September of last year, police began investigating Vance after receiving a tip that he had sexually assaulted the girl. Vance soon vacated the family’s couch. At that point, the victim’s family said, there was no proof Vance had done anything inappropriate and they had a hard time believing he would harm their child.

Fast forward to January —  a visit to the doctor revealed the child was pregnant.

“Let’s just say that he’s in a very safe place now,” the child’s father said. “When I was told that my daughter was pregnant with his child, I had mixed emotions. I was very angry at him, to say the least.”

The child, when interviewed by authorities, claimed she had no idea what being pregnant meant, and had no idea what sex was.…

imagesCinderford, England — A 45-year-old woman has been accused of assaulting her husband with toast and butter, and for nearly ripping his ear off, in a dispute over chores.

Now, before anyone gets their panties all in a wad and accuses me of mocking domestic violence victims, a disclaimer: Domestic violence is not a laughing matter… the manner in which it is carried out, though, can be quite hilarious. That said…

Julie Evans apparently got a little pissy with the hubby last year and his reported refusal to help out with the chores. As the man lay on the couch one evening, pretending to sleep, Evans doused him water. This had no effect. Evans ended up going to bed that night, still fuming.

The next morning, the woman started an argument. Cause, you know…. women. Authorities claim she threw a piece of toast at her beloved. The man, believing the woman to be quite petty, attempted to leave the room. It was then that Evans reportedly smeared butter on his face.…


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