About Jaded

Title: BaddBunnee
Published Articles: 2058
Website: The Dreamin' Demon

Bacon. That is all.

James Guy BullDaytona Beach, FL — A 61-year-old man has been charged with two counts of animal cruelty after neighbors told police they had seen him sexually assault his 8-month-old puppy multiple times.

When police made contact with the neighbors, they were informed that James Guy Bull had been seen digitally penetrating the pup on more than one occasion, causing the animal to yelp and holler. On another occasion, the witnesses claimed, Bull was seen sitting on a chair on his porch, pants around his ankles, with his junk all up in the dog’s rear end. Again, the dog could be heard whining and crying. When Bull realized he had an audience, he simply put the dog down and pulled up his draws.

No word on why, if they had seen this shit on multiple occasions, they didn’t inform police prior to this.

The dog was found chained to a post on the porch without food, shelter or water. She was skittish and emaciated, police say, and had a very swollen vagina.…

Tilus LebrunBoca Raton, FL — Dimitrios Karaloukas , owner of Jimmy the Greek Taverna in Boca Raton, was stabbed to death by an employee last week after the stabby guy learned Karaloukas has posted a photo of him on the internet.

Tilus Lebrun, who is not pictured here because he still looks really pissed off and stabby in his mugshot and it’s Florida so he might make bail at some point, apparently stabbed 61-year-old Karaloukas inside the Taverna Thursday evening as horrified dinner guests looked on. Karaloukas was stabbed three times on his left side and once in his back, police say.

An unidentified male employee at the restaurant was also stabbed several times. His condition is unknown at this time.

When police arrived on scene, they found Lebrun outside of the restaurant, wearing an apron and holding a large knife. When questioned about the alleged attack, Lebrun told authorities, “I killed him because he took my photograph on March 2nd and posted it on the internet.”

Lebrun, 36, has been charged with first degree premeditated murder and murder while engaged in a certain felony offense.…

Rafael PaulinoStaten Island, NY — A 42-year-old man is facing numerous charges after allegedly molesting a 15-year-old girl by rubbing raw meat on her naked body in order to cleanse her of the evil spirits that were making her moody.

Alleged “spiritual leader” Rafael Paulino, aka Omi Chango, apparently met with a female relative of the teen and explained that he would rub raw meat on the girl’s body and pour water on her after he had cut her clothes off in order to spiritually cleanse her. This ritual, he told the woman, was not for entertainment or amusement. He was simply going to attempt to rid the child of the evil spirit that was making her depressed.

The female relative agreed to the cleansing and shelled out $121. It is believed that she wanted a cleansing, too. Not sure if that was the price for the both of ’em, or if maybe he was having a special that week.

On February 24, Paulino met with the girl and got busy fixin’ her depression.…

Joshua CooperFairfield, CA — An 18-year-old father, frustrated by his infant son’s crying, has been jailed after allegedly biting at least one third of the child’s nose off. That’ll teach the little fucker, eh?

Police received a call from the infant’s hysterical 17-year-old mother Thursday, who stated that her child was bleeding profusely from the nose. Or what was left of it, anyway….

An examination of the child revealed a skull fracture, a brain hemorrhage and the injury to the nose. They soon learned that the child’s father, Joshua Cooper, was the responsible party. Police determined Joshua chewed on the kid’s face because he wouldn’t shut up.

He’s been charged with child cruelty and aggravated mayhem. The investigation to determine how the child sustained the skull fracture and brain hemorrhage is ongoing.

The infant is said to be in stable condition.…

Missing penisEngland — A 40-year-old man is in a medically induced coma after being found wandering near the A66 in Middlesbrough, sans penis.

Not a lot of info on this one, but what the hell… I’m on a severed penis roll. wOOt.

The unidentified man, said to be “in a clear state of distress,” was apparently searching for his missing penis in some undergrowth when he was discovered by a passing motorist early Thursday morning.

Although police were hesitant to say out right that the man had his dick violently removed, they were forced to close a long stretch of the road for a few hours to conduct what appears to be a search for a missing penis. No word on whether it ever surfaced.

An unidentified 22-year-old man was arrested on suspicion of assault and questioned, but was soon released on bail. No further information on that, either.

Investigators still haven’t been able to speak the the alleged victim, coma and blood loss and all, but are asking the public to come forward with any information.…

kiwiAnhui, China — A woman has been accused of hacking off her husband’s testicles, just months after being arrested for cutting his dick off.

According to eChinacities.com, Han Mou apparently approached the topic of divorce with his wife, Zhang. Believing Han had been unfaithful, or was in the process of finding a new woman, Zhang reportedly crushed a bunch of sleeping pills and waited until Han fell asleep. Then she cut his cut his dick off and flushed it down the toilet.

While recovering in the hospital, Han said that he loved his wife but was still considering divorce because she was too jealous. Not to mention batshit crazy….

Zhang was ultimately released on bail and returned to her husband and children. Han, though, fearful that his wife was going to be locked up for a bit, began searching for her replacement — them kids needed a step-mother. And Han apparently needs a lobotomy.

Zhang, jealous again, got busy with the sleeping pills.

After drinking his milk one morning, just three months after losing his dick, Han began to feel ill.…

GraveWylie, TX — Two teen boys are in police custody, charged with murder, after cops questioned what they were doing in a patch of woods Saturday night and one derpily responded  “We are burying a body.”

Police received a call around 9:30 that night about a suspicious vehicle near Highway 78. Upon arrival, they spotted an unoccupied vehicle matching the call description, just sitting there all suspicious-like. The officers headed off into a wooded area near where the car was sitting to investigate and saw the two 16-year-old boys hightailing it out of the woods. Assuming the kids were heading for the car, the officers headed back up to the vehicle and waited.

When the boys approached the car, one of the officers asked what they were up to. That was when the dumber half of the stupid pair opened his mouth.

Officers detained the boys and called for backup. A search of the area led to the discovery of a very dead teen boy — police have identified him as 17-year-old Ivan Mejia.…

Evil Friggin CatPortland, OR — An evil feline with a history of violence now stands accused of attacking a 7-month-old child and forcing the child’s entire family, including their pussy dog, to hole up in a bedroom and call 911.

Lux, apparently unsatisfied with slowly sucking the child’s breath out of his body, reportedly attacked the child Sunday, scratching the kid on the face. This led to the child’s father putting a boot up the 22 pound pussy’s ass. Needless to say, that ass tap didn’t go over well.

The Himalayan flew into a rage, eventually chasing the family into a bedroom.

The cat’s owner informed the 911 dispatcher the cat “went over the edge,” and was charging at them every time they opened the door. The man also claimed the cat had a history of being an asshole — he was just a little more assholish on that particular day.

“He’s trying to attack us,” the man said as the cat screeched and hissed in the background. “He’s very, very, very, very hostile.”

After it was determined the child didn’t require medical assistance, the dispatcher dispatched officers to the couple’s home.…

Stefany JohnsonClarksville, TN — A woman accused of killing her 7-month-old daughter is trying to put the blame on Jesus.

Police learned of the infant’s death after receiving multiple reports of a naked woman screaming and yelling in the street early Friday morning. They soon made contact with a belligerent and uncooperative 24-year-old Stefany Johnson.

When officers entered the woman’s home, they found Astrid’s body on the couch. Police say it appeared as Johnson neglected to seek medical assistance for the child.

When questioned, Johnson reportedly told police “Jesus came down and took Astrid to heaven” while she was bathing her. That Jesus dude again. He’s like a super sneaky serial killer or something. Bastard.

Cause of death has not yet been revealed, but logic points to drowning.

Police quickly determined it was Johnson’s negligence that killed the child. She’s now being held at a mental health facility, charged with criminal homicide.

The child’s father is apparently in Afghanistan.…

Danielle NebelungMacomb County, MI — A 31-year-old woman was arrested over the weekend after she bit off the top part of her boyfriend’s ear during an argument.

The woman’s 36-year-old boyfriend called police early Saturday morning, claiming that after an argument with his live-in lady, Danielle Nebelung, he was missing a chunk of flesh from the top of his ear.

No word on what the couple were arguing about, but I’m sure it was his fault. Anyway, the man told police Nebelung began punching him in the face and head. When he turned away from her, he said, she jumped on his back and chomped, biting off the top part of his left ear.

Fortunately for him, Nebelung is a spitter — the missing portion was located and he was transported to a hospital for treatment. Haven’t seen whether they were able to reattach it or not.

Nebelung was arraigned on an aggravated assault charge and ordered held on $10,000 bond.…

John CarterHouston, TX — An 18-year-old moron has been accused of setting his mother’s clothes on fire after she refused to give him money to buy marijuana.

According to authorities, John Carter pitched a ginormous baby fit and started lighting his mother’s clothes on fire when she refused to give in to his crybaby, whiny-ass demands. No word on why the entitled shitstain doesn’t just get a damn job and buy his own shit.

Investigators with the Harris County Fire Marshal’s Office say the damage was minor to the apartment complex where this shit went down. And yes, they also have reason to believe the fire was intentionally set. No clue, though, as to whether the woman was injured.

Carter has been charged with arson. He’s already out on a $30,000 bond. Raise your hand if you think mom posted bond.

I’m gonna go and buy my spawn something shiny for allowing me to live as long as I have.…

Yaquelin Galvez-DonOcala, FL —  A 13-year-old girl and her 15-year-old boyfriend are in police custody after allegedly ambushing the girl’s mother, slitting her throat, in the hopes of living happily ever after. How fucking cute.

According to police, Yaquelin Galvez-Don lured her mom into the garage early Sunday morning, where the boyfriend, Pedro Solis, informed the woman that he wanted to be with her daughter… cause he could, like, take care of her and stuff. He also told her that she should not have hit him with a stick previously. (Methinks she didn’t hit him hard enough. Or often enough. Or with a big enough stick). Solis then reportedly slashed the woman’s throat and ran inside, intent on doing the same to his beloved’s father.

With the knife to his throat, Galvez-Don’s father pleaded with Solis to seek medical assistance for his wife. No word on what was said between the two, but whatever it was, it worked — he was left uninjured and Solis loaded the woman up and dropped her off at an emergency room.…


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