About Lizard

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Alecia DotsonLAKELAND, FL – 45-year-old “school paraprofessional” Alecia Dotson was arrested Tuesday after a mother found some rather…upsetting…texts between Dotson and her 11-year-old son.

Eleven years old? HOLY SHADES OF MARY KAY LETOURNEAU, BATMAN! But wait. Do I remember this correctly? Ah, yes. Mary Kay was “only” 34 when she got busy with 12-year-old Vili.

Gary Gross, a sergeant with the Lakeland Police Department, indicated that the mother contacted police after discovering the texts between Dotson and her son. “There were approximately 100 text messages sent back and forth between the two,” Sgt. Gross said.

Did I mention that the officer’s last name is “Gross”? Were this a bit of fiction I was crafting, that would be called “foreshadowing.”

Once police began investigating, they had access to the boy’s phone, during which time Dotson sent texts saying “Love bug what are you doing” and “I’ll be sure to tell her we won’t have sex on the first visit…LOL.”

On Tuesday, she sent another text asking, “Are you awake love bug?” Unaware she was now communicating with law enforcement officers instead of a prepubescent boy, she arranged a meeting the boy at a local cinema for a bit of something that did not involve watching a movie.…

Stephen HutchesonUPDATE – The body of Stephen Hutcheson was found yesterday (July 4) in a wooded area near Adger, AL. Authorities responding to a call about a suspicious vehicle that had been in the location for several days discovered the 2005 Dodge Stratus with Hutcheson inside. He appears to have died of a self-inflicted gunshot wound.

MCCALLA, AL – Authorities are searching for 47-year-old Stephen “Hut” Sean Hutcheson after his wife and two children were found shot to death on Sunday.

Deputies were called to the Hutcheson home early Sunday evening by a relative who was concerned since family members hadn’t heard from the Hutchesons. After making a forced entry into the home, they would find the bodies of 49-year-old Doris, shot twice in the head, and 14-year old Kimberly, who was shot once in the head and once in the face.

Both are suspected to have been asleep, but it’s being reported that 12-year-old Peyton probably was awake at the time of his murder. He was shot twice in the face and once in the neck; he was found on the couch.…

Thomas ThompsonMOUNT DORA, FL – A 45-year-old detention deputy with the Lake County Sheriff’s Office was charged with aggravated assault with a deadly weapon without intent to kill and improper exhibition of a firearm last Monday after following another vehicle and brandishing a gun at the couple in the car.

It appears that Thomas J. Thompson was not in a good mood following his arrest, since he was arrested–again!–Wednesday on a domestic violence charge related to an argument between him and his wife that Monday night.

Let’s get this little bit of business out of the way before someone gets confused: yes, I described Thompson as a detention deputy with the Lake County Sheriff’s Office. Different words are used in different jurisdictions, but understand that the phrase in question tags Thompson as a jailer. Not a police officer.

Way back when, I was a juvenile detention officer. Yes, officer. My official title was Court Services Officer, and I did indeed carry a shiny badge proclaiming my name, title, and county; in the course of my job, I was required to make decisions regarding crimes committed and those accused of committing crimes.…

Jesus MenocalHIALEAH, FL – Jesús “Jesse” Menocal, Jr., a sergeant with the Hialeah Police Department, was suspended with pay after he allegedly led a 17-year-old girl to an empty room in a police substation and insist that she undress in front of him.

The teen and her 20-year-old girlfriend allege that this is what went down:

After pulling them over after making a U-turn, Menocal ordered the 17-year-old to get in the back of his squad car and instructed the 20-year-old to follow him to the nearby police substation. There he took the younger to a private room and begin asking some questions that seem to fall quite a bit outside the usual LE repertoire when interviewing suspects or civilians.

For example, “How do you have intercourse?” To which the teen replied, “Why do I need to answer that? Why is that necessary?” Menocal insisted she answer, so she told him about intimate relations between her and her girlfriend.

The inappropriate questions didn’t stop there, though. “After, he asked if I was a virgin.…

Alexandria MauerWESTLAKE, OH – Alexandria Mauer and Kenneth Gillespie were arrested this weekend after police found the classy duo tooling around town drunk and naked.

Police were called at 12:22 a.m. Saturday after the two were spotted standing naked outside their vehicle. The caller reported that the couple had returned to the car and driven away, running over a curb and across a lawn in the process.

Police found 24-year-old Mauer in the driver’s seat, naked, drunk, and holding a piece of pizza, while the passenger’s seat was occupied by 33-year-old Gillespie, who also was drunk and naked. He had an open beer between his feet. She’s facing a drunk driving charge; Gillespie is looking at disorderly conduct while intoxicated, open container, and public indecency charges.

Proving himself to be a bit of a cliché, Gillespie pissed in the back seat of the cruiser on the way to the police station.

Mauer was released to a family member but was found wandering down a road (partially dressed this time) after arguing with her ride, leading to yet another arrest and a disorderly conduct charge.…

Sandra HuertaEL PASO, TX – Antonio Huerta, 62, and his wife Sandra Huerta, 55, were arrested in April for the sexual abuse of two foster children. Now it is being revealed the couple may have brought in over one-and-a-half million dollars of state funds for the care of something like 36 children over 14 years.

Wait. Decent money can be made kiddy diddling? Uh, I’m asking for a friend. Well, not really a friend. Someone I know through…Craigslist? Or was it Snapchat? Yes. That’s it. It probably was Snapchat.

Between 2005 to 2015, 16 complaints alleging abuse and neglect were filed against the Huertas. The Texas Department of Family and Protective Services dismissed 14 of them due to lack of evidence (most recently this past January); a review of the information available online suggests the remaining two were not related to the arrest of the couple.

Instead, it looks like the two were arrested after certain allegations were presented to police last September about events said to have occurred between 2000 and 2002.…

Arvalo BenitezAUSTIN, TX – Alvaro Benitez and Araceli Mata-Ortiz are facing felony child endangerment charges after police pulled over a vehicle for reported reckless driving to discover one set of drunk parents, a 13-year-old in the driver’s seat, and a 7-year-old girl who was not driving and apparently wasn’t drunk.

At some point after 11:00 p.m. Friday,  police were called about a Chevy pickup that was running red lights, weaving back and forth, and driving 25-30 MPH below the posted 70 MPH limit on I-35. Another motorist claimed that the silver truck had almost caused at least three collisions.

According to authorities, the young driver reported that the family had been at Club Vongos, where she observed her parents were too inebriated to drive and suggested that she drive, since she felt that would be the safer option.

As drunk people tend to do, the girl’s parents made a stupid decision and later said something stupid about that decision: as to the former, the parents said they thought it was smart for them not to drive while intoxicated and thus elected to have their 13-year-old daughter (who had little experience operating a vehicle) take the wheel for the 30-something-minute drive home to Georgetown.…

Kiara OfficerINDIANAPOLIS, IN – Dear 23-year-old Kiara Officer: You’ve been arrested for child neglect after allegedly leaving your five-year-old daughter and two-year-old son alone at home.

Yes, alone. No adult supervision. For nine hours. In conditions I wouldn’t leave a dog in. (Even a dog I disliked. Hell, even a dog who attacked me and tore my nose off.) If the allegations against you are true, Kiara, then you are a cunt of the first order. An extremely selfish cunt, as it turns out.

Dear Kiara: It seems that officers with the Indianapolis Metropolitan Police Department were sent to your residence at about 2:40 a.m. on June 17th for a child welfare check. Said officers knocked on the door, after which a five-year-old girl came to the window and told them she was alone with her two-year-old brother.

Dear Kiara: The five-year-old girl (presumably your daughter) let the officers into the residence, at which point they observed indications of marijuana use and a disgustingly filthy home: trash, food bags, dirty dishes, mold on the kitchen walls, and an entryway covered with bugs, both dead and alive.…

David FloydBALDWYN, MS – 28-year-old David Floyd is has been arrested and charged with second-degree murder after he allegedly set the residence in which he lived with his girlfriend and three children on fire early last Tuesday. His 26-year-old girlfriend escaped with the couple’s 18-month-old girl and two-month-old boy.

“The mother woke up because she felt the heat on her face,” said  Lee County Sheriff Department’s Fire Investigator Brian Kilgore. “She basically put the 18-month-old out the window, took the two-month-old with her and then went around front to see if she could get in to save the other daughter. She couldn’t so she ran next door and called 911.”

The 911 call about a house on fire came in at 2:39 a.m. A Lee County Sheriff’s deputy arrived at 2:46 a.m.; the fire department was close behind. Emergency personnel found seven-year-old Savannah in her bedroom. She had multiple burns to her face and arms as well as “severe internal injuries because of the smoke and heat.”

“The house had two bedrooms, one at each end and a living room area in the middle,” reported Kilgore.…

Jonathan MedleyUPDATE – While it does appear that Medley had some sort of “sexual contact” with Buster, there is now doubt that he (to put it directly but crudely) anally raped Buster, as Buster was seen by a veterinarian and found to be in good shape. This is not what you’d expect had a 5- to 10-pound dog been penetrated by a grown man’s penis.

I just made myself gag. And then I laughed while the word “micropenis” danced about in my head.

GENEVA, AL – You could say that 39-year-old Jonathan Medley screwed the pooch, but if you want to be completely accurate, you’d instead say that he got caught fucking his wife’s dog.

Probably no one would’ve known that Medley was spending time making sweet, sweet love to the canine had his wife not suspected he was having an affair and set up a recording device. Instead of catching him with another woman, she caught him with her dog.

Can you imagine coming home and watching/listening to the recording of your spouse going hard and heavy with your dog?…

Elton RhoadesMUSKOGEE, OK – Elton “Trey” Rhoades, a 24-year-old cheerleading coach at Muskogee High School, was arrested at his Tulsa home Friday following allegations that he had “consensual” and unprotected sex with a 15-year-old transgender teen.

It’s said that Rhoades did not inform the teen that he was diagnosed HIV-positive in 2013. Apparently, the 15-year-old went to police the same day she\he tested positive for HIV. This one has the potential to get interesting, kids.

So there’s this group…Open Arms Youth Project…that gives LGBT youth a place to build a supportive community. A group with which Rhoades has been very involved (hosting parties and other events) and mostly known by the name Keaton Zane Paige in the transgendered community. This is how Rhoades, who holds pageant titles like Mr. Gay Arkansas and Mr. Gay Oklahoma City, apparently met the teen.

Court documents indicate that Rhoades initially denied having sex with the teen but changed his tune after hearing a recording between the two of them regarding their “physical intimacy.” He was arrested and is now facing three rape charges and three charges of exposing others to HIV.…

kroebelLINCOLN, NB – 32-year-old Kristopher Koebel–who is said to be a “transient”–kept police hopping and jumping late Friday-early Saturday, resulting in him winding up arrested for burglary, attempted theft of a police cruiser, and fleeing authorities.

It started at 11:19 p.m. Friday, when police responded to a burglar alarm at Muscle Car Memories. When officers arrived, they saw that the front door was destroyed and the overheard garage door had been left open. Further, a 1974 Pontiac Firebird valued at $100,000 had been stolen.

Just a few minutes later, a witness saw someone breaking into a Verizon Wireless store from which about $380 worth of cell phone accessories were stolen.

Around 12:30 a.m., a man was observed inside a police cruiser parked outside a Lincoln Police Department substation. When approached by an off-duty sergeant, the man asked for a key to the cruiser. Not surprisingly, the sergeant refused, at which point the man fled in a white 1974 Pontiac Firebird.

A short car chase ended back at Muscle Car Memories, where it’s said Koebel tried to steal the business owner’s truck.…


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