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EMERSON, NE – A Nebraska couple have pleaded not guilty to charges they deprived their two teenage boys from food and showers.

The Busker’s kids are hungry. And stinky.

Why? Because the Buskers are assholes. Cheap assholes.

On Wednesday August 8th, Blaine Busker, 41, and Donella Busker, 38, of Emerson, Nebraska, were arrested for the mistreatment of two teenaged boys that were under their care.

Local media reports refer to the boys as their “sons,” but the story linked above notes that the Buskers had received a total of $5,475 from the state of Nebraska “from February through June to care for the children,” and the duration of the abuse was specified as being from January 1st through June 18th, so it looks like the boys are actually foster children.

Which doesn’t excuse the starvation, privation and abuse that they had to endure.

Even with all that money coming in, the Buskers begrudged the two (presumably) growing boys proper nutrition, so much so that they kept the refrigerator and kitchen cupboards padlocked to prevent any surreptitious snacking. I’m guessing that Hambeast Ma was the keyholder, because it looks like she was eating most of their meals for them.

Since some unscrupulous would-be parents take in foster kids purely for the money, this isn’t the first time we’ve seen foster kids denied adequate food in order to improve the profit margin, but the Buskers are cheaper than most: they even begrudged the boys water, choosing to fill their domicile with the pungent fragrance of unwashed teen rather than waste the water required for daily showers. One shower every other day was good enough for the boys, according to Ma and Pa.

How did they stop the boys from slipping in an extra shower when they weren’t looking? You guessed it: more padlocks. They sure do seem to like padlocks. Makes me wonder how Ma Busker practices birth control.

And to make the funk even funkier, clothes washing was restricted as well. No word if there was a padlock on the washing machine.

Of course, things wouldn’t be complete without physical abuse, so the Buskers were dishing that out too. Hell, beatings are free, so that’s the one thing they didn’t skimp on.

When one of the boys snuck a snack in February, Pa went into Karate Kid mode and swept that knee, knocking the boy to the ground and causing him to hit his head hard enough to “see stars.” Then Ma and Pa took turns sitting on his chest for 75 minutes, presumably to limit his consumption of their precious air. Then the boy was sent to bed without dinner. That’ll teach him not to be hungry!

Sitting on the boys seems to have been their preferred method of punishment. I’m betting Ma was the more effective disciplinarian of the two, for several reasons. Personally, I’d have rolled the dice with homelessness rather than have her feculent, oversized pork-fried hamcakes perched upon me like an overweight, inbred, shrimp-boat-dwelling Southern-gothic gargoyle.

When authorities notified the Buskers in June that they were taking the boys away, Ma was elated, telling a deputy “I have called the state several times and have asked the state to take the kids away.” I’m guessing the kids were pleased by the news as well.

Pro-tip for Nebraska CPS: when a foster parent asks you to “come get the kids,” get off your asses and go and get the kids.

The Buskers were each charged with two misdemeanor counts of child abuse. On September 12th, they both pled not guilty. Their trials are scheduled for December 3rd in Dakota County Court.

Hopefully they both get cellies that only bathe once a week and like sitting on people.

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