ST PETER, MN –  A couple in Minnesota have been arrested after they allegedly abandoned a 5-year-old boy in the woods as punishment for wetting himself.

Regular readers of the Demon know that there are all sorts of ways to deal with incontinent children, many of which are not recommended by Dr. Spock, or local authorities.

Torture, dehydration and even death have been the result of innocent enuresis at the hands of some of our Featured Parents.

Some people, though, prefer the road less traveled. These are the pioneers that settled the Wild Wild West, the astronauts that took us to the moon, and the contrarian crapbags that find new and creative ways to degrade and abuse their fellow human beings.

Meet Gregory Wilson, 32, and Lynda Michel, 42. When their five-year-old son accidentally pissed himself, they thumbed their noses at criminal convention and got all Hansel-and-Gretel on the kid.

On August 28th, a passing motorist spotted a young boy crying and walking in the pouring rain along the side of Highway 169 south of St. Peter, Minnesota. Apparently, this motorist was a decent person, because they stopped to check on the child, who told them that his parents abandoned him in the woods for being “naughty.” The Good Samaritan called the police.

Police quickly located Wilson and Michel nearby; Wilson is the boy’s biological father, and Michel is the Evil Stepmother. They were searching for the boy but had not notified authorities that he was lost.

Wilson copped to “purposefully [finding] an isolated spot” and dumping the boy in order to teach him not to piss himself. They didn’t leave him long though, honest; they just “left the boy briefly” and when they came back, he had miraculously vanished, not unlike their hopes and dreams of having a son.

An unidentified, unrelated male that was in the vehicle with them told police that he tried to tell the Idiot Twins that leaving a five-year-old in the woods was a really bad idea; it seems they’re no better at listening to common sense than they are at parenting.

At some point in the investigation, police determined, from the rainbow of bruises on his back, hips, and ass, that the boy was getting regular beatings as well as being left for the fucking bears. Dad copped to the whippings too. Hell, gave him one earlier today, officer.

Mom and Dad were both arrested for gross misdemeanor child neglect. Since Dad’s a spankin’ kind of man, he got some additional charges: misdemeanor domestic assault and misdemeanor malicious punishment of a child.

The boy is currently in the care of a foster family.

No word on Ridealong Buddy; hopefully he will find some more upstanding friends.

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