NEW ORLEANS, LA – A man has been jailed after he chased down a man who stole his wallet and then beat him to death.

It started out as a hot, sunny morning in New Orleans this past Friday, but it would soon turn stormy in a bit of subtle foreshadowing.

Edwin, whose last name was not released, and may not even be known, was out spare-changing.

As any pro will tell you, the ability to size people up quickly is an important part of effective begging. Some people are a soft touch, and you want to focus your efforts on them. Some people would just assume see you starve, and they’re not worth your time.

If you intend to mix a little larceny in with your bumming, reading people properly becomes even more important: a matter of life and death vs. mere efficiency.

Edwin was a little off Friday morning.

He approached a man wearing a Pantera shirt and asked for a dollar, then snatched the wallet out of the man’s back pocket and ran.

The Pantera fan, 31-year-old Simon Morris, chased the thief, caught him, and started beating the shit out of him.

He never stopped.

Police say that Morris beat and kicked the man “for at least five minutes” despite the attempts of bystanders to end the prolonged pugilistic punishment.

I bet Morris was humming “Five Minutes Alone” the entire time.

Edwin was transported to the hospital, where he died, and Morris was transported to jail, where he was charged with manslaughter.

In Louisiana, manslaughter does not carry a mandatory jail term, but can result in up to a 40 year sentence.

Pro-tip: If you’re going to steal from someone, avoid potential victims wearing black t-shirts with fucked-up looking stuff on them. Especially if you can’t read the name of the band.

Comments on various metal sites are running about 10-to-1 in favor of Morris’ actions. You’ve been warned.

Author’s Note:

Full disclosure requires me to state that I am, myself, a Pantera fan.

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