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YORK, SC – A homeless man has been charged after a woman left him alone with her 13-year-old daughter and he propositioned the teen while performing sex acts on himself.

Leonard Dale Dover is a shitty guest.

An unnamed York County, South Carolina mother saw the homeless man get caught in a downpour and took pity on him. She invited him into her home so that he could get out of the rain.

Then, for some completely inexplicable reason that I just cannot fathom, she went to the store and left her 13-year-old daughter alone with Dover.

Left her 13-year-old daughter alone with a man that she didn’t know from Adam.

Daughter. Alone. Strange man. Let that sink in.

I give this lady all the credit in the world for being compassionate. Helping a fellow human that is in distress is a laudable thing to do. Seriously.

But. And this is a big ‘but’. Third-row-of-the-church-choir-sized ‘but’.

According to the National Alliance on Metal Illness, of homeless adults staying in shelters, an estimated 46% “live with severe mental illness and/or substance use disorders.”

That’s one in two. Flip a coin. Heads, you win, tails, your daughter loses.

And that’s out of the population that has it together well enough to be able to stay in a shelter. The odds are even worse among those that aren’t allowed into the shelters because of past behavioral problems.

Well, like an inauspicious start to a ballgame, Mom lost the coin toss.

She headed on over to Wal-Mart to buy some groceries, probably to fix a nice meal to share with Dover, and Dover headed on over to Perv Land.

Figuring that it had been too long since he had gotten lucky, and seeing as how he was on a roll, what with getting out of the rain and all, and now a hot meal a’comin’, Dover tried to get lucky with the little lady.

Dover offered to pay the teen for “several sexual acts” that are being unspecified in local print media, but we can probably pretty well figure out what they were.

Like a proper young lady, she declined to perform those distasteful acts on his perverted old unclean self, choosing instead to use a cellphone to record his offers for posterity.

At this point, she was probably wondering when Mom was going to get back home. Not yet.

About the time Mom was squeezing the avocados to find a nice ripe one, Dover was deciding to do some squeezing of his own.

Having given up on winning the daughter’s favor, or even renting it, and being a do-it-yourself type guy, Dover pulled out the ol’ Skeezy Deezy and started flogging it like it owed him money.

Sources are unclear as to whether or not this particular part of his performance made it to video.

This is the point where I would expect the daughter to flee the house like a rat out of an aqueduct, but she apparently just waited until Mom finally got home with the groceries and then tattled.

Kids these days.

Deputies, when summoned, checked out Dover’s mixtape and were less than impressed with his showmanship.

Dover’s next performance will be at the York County jail, where he is being lodged without bond on a charge of attempting to commit a lewd act with a minor.

Nothing new to Dover, who is well-known to local authorities for drug offenses, disorderly conduct and violating a judges’ orders. Hell, it’s a step up for him: he’s out of the rain and he can spank it without fear of prosecution.

He might even get lucky.

As for the 13-year-old girl… well, not so good. Some things can never be unseen. And some things can never be gotten out of the carpet.

Thanks Mom!

Author’s Note:

I chose this article for a reason. After ending last week with the Jordyn Dumont article, I wanted to start this week off on a light note.

No one got hurt in this story. It could have turned out much, much worse.

THINK, people. Goddamn.

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