CHARLOTTE, NC – At least 40 people are sick after eating some shit-tainted food at a potluck birthday party.

On Sunday afternoon, multiple people from the Forest Hills apartment complex began calling 911 complaining of diarrhea, fever, nausea, vomiting and stomach cramps.

Health officials got involved and discovered that all the people who were sick had attended a potluck birthday party.

For those of you who may not know, a potluck is when each person at a gathering brings their own food to be shared with the others.

The food is normally homemade and why I don’t ever participate in them at work. I don’t care how good Cheryl’s potato salad is, bitch doesn’t wash her hands after using the bathroom, you feel me?

Now at least 40 people are wishing they’d followed my advice as they’ve been infected with a “highly contagious” disease called shigella, which is spread through feces and makes you shit for days.

Someone who prepared food for the party did not wash their hands well enough after wiping their ass or scratching their butthole, Health Director Gibbie Harris said. Sort of… I’m paraphrasing.

At least 19 people had been admitted to the hospital and a few were in intensive care. No one is in a life-threatening situation, but I am betting they feel like they are dying.

“The diarrhea is pretty significant,” Harris said. “It’s usually watery, and there’s a lot of it, and it can go on for days.”

Harris is asking anyone who brought food home from the party to call the health department so someone can pick it up for testing.

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