Stuart, FL — A 42-year-old man has been accused of punching his girlfriend, and striking her with a dildo, because she insulted his love making skills. *cough* whiskey dick! *cough*

Eric Pritsch was charged with battery following the incident, which was reported earlier this month.

According to the arrest affidavit, Pritsch’s girlfriend, 58-year-old Carol Favuzza, flagged down a deputy on February 7, and asked him to call police, as she had been assaulted. The officer apparently had to inform her he was the police.

Favuzza told the deputy Pritsch punched her in the face because, while they were copulating, she told him, “You’re not a man, you’re a mouse.”

Favuzza went on to say that Pritsch hit her in the back several times with a dildo and some sort of cord. The officer failed to find any marks on the woman’s back, but did notice swelling to her face. He also noticed the woman smelled strongly of alcohol.

Pritsch, also apparently shitfaced, denied striking the woman. According to him, he had been asleep for several hours.

Both parties were transported to the hospital — Favuzza, to check out her injuries, and Pritsch, because of his high level of intoxication. Once cleared by medical personnel, Pritsch was carted off to the pokey. Giggity, or no?

The officer was unable to locate said dildo.

Help The Dreamin Demon go ad free! Support us on Patreon!
Tags: , , , , ,

Comments


The views expressed in the comments are those of the comment writers and don't represent the views or opinions of D'D or its staff. Feel free to flag comments that may violate conditions outlined in our Disclaimer.

  • The Pulpit of Doom Podcast





  • Recent Comments

  • Prophets of Doom

    Be sure to pick up the DD crApp for Android. Coming to iTunes soon.