Hey, wondering where we went? No worries, we are just changing format and conducting some testing before we flip the switch. For now, you can get all of our new stuff by clicking here.. We aren't quite ready to switch quite yet, but the end result will be a continuous flow of dark and often day-wrecking content from our regular authors as well as other members. It's a work in progress and we are still working on some design and function stuff, but the updated content is now coming through.
Man Gets No Jail After Masturbating On Woman He Choked UnconsciousHome Daycare Owner Admits Drugging, Tying Kids To Car Seats For Hours A DayMan Accused Of Beating His Toddler, Gluing Her Eyes And Mouth ShutMeth-Addled Couple Accused Of Killing Man So They Could Live In His HouseWoman Accused Of Slashing Boyfriend's Face When He Refuses To Give Her The 'D'Florida Man Accused Of Burning Smiley Faces On Multiple Children.Sex Offender Serving Time For Child Porn Caught With Child Porn In PrisonMan Buried Baby In Woods After Car Crash Because Infant Was Too HeavyCouple Pleads Not Guilty To Depriving Their Two Teens From Food And ShowersMan Blames Sleep Walking On The Sexual Assault Of Teenage Girl

Patrick WaitsHOBBS, NM – Patrick Waits was arrested Tuesday and charged with burglary and unlawful entry after walking into a stranger’s home, doing some chores, and making himself some food.

Apparently it all started when a female resident of the home was wakened early on Tuesday by noise in her kitchen. When she went to discover the source of the noise, she found the 45-year-old Waits wiping down a counter and cooking a potato in her microwave.

According to a police report, “She asked him what he was doing there, and he told her he was making a potato.”

Alas, the potato snack was not to be, as the resident instructed Waits to leave. And he did. Once out of the house, he began raking leaves in the front yard.

It seems that “[t]he female resident convinced Waits to stay by saying she wanted to pay him for his service” to ensure he was still at the residence when police arrived, who noted that he was stumbling and slurring his words.

In addition to the burglary and unlawful entry charges, Waits faces several felony warrants for failure to appear in court. (My guess is that his FTAs are due to him being in some stranger’s house, working on chores and cooking up a box of macaroni and cheese or some such.)

I can’t stop laughing: She asked him what he was doing there, and he told her he was making a potato. Comedy GOLD.

If any of you feel the need to unlawfully enter a stranger’s home and do housework/yard work, please put me at the top of the list, and you’re welcome to any of the food that’s in the house.

Help The Dreamin Demon go ad free! Support us on Patreon!
Tags: , , , ,

Comments


The views expressed in the comments are those of the comment writers and don't represent the views or opinions of D'D or its staff. Feel free to flag comments that may violate conditions outlined in our Disclaimer.

  • The Pulpit of Doom Podcast





  • Recent Comments

  • Prophets of Doom

    Be sure to pick up the DD crApp for Android. Coming to iTunes soon.