Amber EllisTulsa, OK — A 31-year-old crazy lady is facing numerous charges for allegedly attempting to gnaw her boyfriend’s dick off after an alcohol fueled argument.

Police responded to a Tulsa hospital early Thursday morning, where they spoke to a man who claimed his girlfriend, Amber Ellis, attacked him while he slept.

After an evening of imbibing, the two began arguing about how “needy” she had become in recent weeks. (PSA, fellas — the word “needy” is a trigger in the craziest of psycho bitches. So is “suffocating” and “smothering.” And may your lord help you if you start in on the whole “I need a little breather” spiel).

The verbal argument continued when the couple reached their apartment, and seemingly ended when Ellis stormed into the bedroom and slammed the door. The victim, believing he was safe, fell asleep on the couch. With both eyes closed. Silly man.

He told police he woke to find Ellis chewing on his dick. When he tried to fight her off, he said, she hit him in the head with a laptop.

The victim received several stitches to the base of his penis, and was treated for injuries head, face, neck, fingers and knee. Ellis was booked on charges of maiming and assault with a deadly weapon.

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