Sean JohnsonBrooksville, FL — A 19-year-old weirdo is facing charges of criminal mischief and indecent exposure after police say he violated a stuffed animal in the bedding department of a Brooksville Walmart.

According to police, Sean Johnson was captured acting all suspicious and stuff on surveillance video Tuesday afternoon. In said video, Johnson is apparently seen approaching the innocent plush toy in the clearance section somewhere near the garden department. He was then seen carrying his new found love to the bedding department.

It was there, police say, that Johnson got busy.

In the surveillance video, Johnson is seen exposing his Johnson and humping the horse — utilizing short, fast movements. When finished, Johnson reportedly shot his load on the horse’s chest. Sated, Johnson placed the stuffed animal on top of a comforter set and exited the store.

I have to assume security personnel were rolling on the floor laughing, while vomiting, maybe, and that’s why they failed to apprehend the plushie fucker before he was able to make it out of the store. Police did catch up with him later, though, and he was placed under arrest.

In a written statement, Johnson admitted to the foul deed.

“I did unmentionables to a stuffed animal,” he wrote. He then went on to apologize for the “horrible act,” and said he needs to think before he acts.

He was released from the Hernando County Jail later that night, after posting $1,500 bond. The horse was deemed contaminated and had to be disposed of, along with any merchandise it came into contact with.

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