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Man Accused Of Assaulting Girlfriend, Raccoon

August 4, 2014 at 4:37 am by  

David TapiaBallard, UT — After his current girlfriend accused him of calling her by his ex-wife’s name, David Tapia, 41, apparently pitched a fit and assaulted the woman and her pet raccoon.

The victim, upset over the slip, started arguing with Tapia. The argument escalated, at which point Tapia allegedly grabbed the woman by the arms and threw her into a wall in the home they shared.

At some point during the commotion, the woman’s pet raccoon hissed at Tapia, and he reportedly responded by grabbing the critter by its collar and tossing it into another room, where it hit a wall.

And that, my friends, is why I call all of my men “babe.” No confusion, no slips. Ever.

The woman was eventually able to leave the home, went to her ex-husband’s motor home and was taken to the emergency room. She later told police she had suffered at least two broken ribs. No word on the condition of the raccoon, though.

Tapia was arrested July 21 and booked into the Uintah County Jail on charges of assault and animal cruelty.

I guess it is important to note that you are allowed to keep a raccoon as a pet in the state of Utah if you have a permit. A coyote, too, if you so desire.

PS… I want a pet raccoon, please.

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