adco-master675Decatur, IL — A 23-year-old man is being held on a charge of attempted murder after allegedly choking the shit out of his roommate for eating his cookies.

The alleged victim in this cookie caper, an unidentified 49-year-old woman, told police she believed her  roommate, Allen Hall, was joking when he threatened to kill her for eating three of his Chips Ahoy! cookies for breakfast.

The woman told police she was getting dressed in the bathroom Wednesday morning, when Hall started pounding on the bathroom, making death threats and stuff.

She opened the door, she said, and exclaimed, “If you’re going to kill me, then go ahead!”

Probably not the smartest thing to say to an apparently unhinged, cookie-less motherfucker first thing in the morning, ya know.

According to the victim, Hall wrapped his hands around her throat and threw her into the tub, causing her to hit the back of her head on the tile. He then reportedly climbed on top of her and proceeded to choke her until she found it difficult to speak or breathe.

A witness to the incident later told police she heard a commotion in the bathroom, and when she entered, observed Hall squeezing the woman’s throat “as hard as he could.” She and the victim’s husband eventually managed to pry the man’s hands from the woman’s neck.

When questioned, Hall reportedly told police, “(The victim) told him to kill her, so he charged.”

He has been charged with attempted murder and aggravated domestic battery, and ordered held on a $75,000 bond.

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