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Cameo CrispiNaples, UT — A 31-year-old woman has been arrested after allegedly attempting to burn down her ex-boyfriend’s home by intentionally leaving a pound of bacon burning on a gas stove.

GUILTY! OFF WITH HER HEAD!

It all started when Cameo Crispi’s ex called police on March 14 to complain that he had received numerous texts and phone calls from her within the range of one hour, and he really wanted her to knock it the fuck off already. He also told police he didn’t want Crispi at his home. Crispi. Heh.

An officer was dispatched to the man’s home and found smoke pouring out the front door. Inside, an “impaired” Crispi.

When the officer stepped inside the man’s home, he noticed a wood stove left open with a fire burning inside and hot coals on the floor around the stove. And on the kitchen stove, claimed the officer, there was a cookie sheet with about a pound of bacon on it. Now, bear with me, people….. this part of the story is extremely difficult for me. I just can’t even imagine the horror that poor officer must have felt at the scene. The burner was on the highest setting and the bacon, well, it was smoking and severely burned. I swear to all that is unholy — this story is going to give me nightmares for months.

The officer was able to douse the flames, but the bacon was apparently destroyed. Inedible.

Due to a high alcohol content, about 0.346, officers transported Crispi to the hospital for medical clearance before caging her. While there, a doc questioned her about the alleged arson attempt. Cripsi reportedly admitted that she wanted to get back at her ex by setting his shit on fire. Not sure if the bacon was his or if she purchased it before trying to burn his house down.

In addition to the arson charge, Crispi is also charged with burglary, assault by a prisoner, interfering with an arresting officer, electronic communication harassment and intoxication.

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