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Home Invader Dick Slaps Woman, Demands Money

January 29, 2014 at 5:54 am by  

Dick slappedFlorida — A Miami woman claims a burglar repeatedly slapped her in the face with his dick after she informed him she had no money.

That’s it. I have heard it all. Time to shut off the internet. Well, maybe after I finish this story….

The dick slapping incident apparently occurred sometime early Tuesday morning. A man living in the home told police he heard a knock at the door at about 3:00 that morning, and when he answered, was confronted by two males holding guns. Real guns, ya perverts.

Anyway, the two unidentified males entered the home and demanded cash. When the man who answered the door came up dry, the suspects apparently busted into a bedroom occupied by the man’s 33-year-old daughter-in-law.

Authorities say one of the men held a gun to the woman’s head and demanded money. When the woman stated she had none, one of the two whipped out his Johnson and began hitting her in the face with it. And while he’s at it, he’s yelling, “*censored* give me the money.” No word on whether the member was flaccid or at full attention. Regardless, that method didn’t work any better than the gun to the head.

The suspects searched the room for cash but found none. Not about to leave empty handed, they grabbed a couple of televisions and left. The woman told police she believes she was followed home after making a bank transaction Monday.

A description of the suspects is not available at this time. But wouldn’t that be an interesting police line-up? Giggity.

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