Woman Profusely Pricked By Plummeting Porcupine

January 22, 2014 at 5:54 am by  

Sandra NabucoBrazil — Don’t you just hate it when you’re out walking your dog, just minding your own business, and a porcupine falls out of the sky and onto your head? Yeah, me too… damn porcupines.

Sandra Nabucco, 53, was just out walking her dog, minding her own business Wednesday, when a porcupine reportedly fell off a lamppost and landed on her head, leaving nearly 200 quills behind.

Wait…. what? Porcupines can climb? *googles* Yes, porcupines can climb. Except for African porcupines — I guess they just don’t like to. Learn something new every day here at the DD, eh? Like, did you know that the male porcupine squirts a hot stream of piss at the female porcupine prior to mating? Now you do.

“It was a huge shock,” Nabucco said of the incident. “I felt a thud on my head and then felt spines with my hands. The pain was enormous.”

A surgeon removed the quills with tweezers. Nabucco claims to have stopped counting once she reached 150, but swears there had to have been at least 200 quills lodged in her head.

Nabucco, who is taking antibiotics to ward off any infection, added: “I’m a strong woman; an old person or a child would have died. I also care about the animals.” Except for those damn porcupines… they’re real pricks.

Want more funny? Remember the otter attack? How about Renesmee? That asshole cat was out for blood, yo. Remember when that one dude damn near lost his life after straying into the territory of a horribly smelly beaver. *shudder*

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