“Swiss Cheese Pervert” Chris Pagano Arrested

January 17, 2014 at 2:40 am by  

Chris PaganoMayfair, PA — Rest easy, my Philadelphian friends… the alleged Swiss Cheese Pervert has been captured. The chunky monkey was arrested at his home on the 16th of January. Whew.

For those with short term memory issues, we posted on the case of the mysterious masturbator just last week. Click here, ya lazy bastids.

Blogger Victor Fiorillo was right on the money when he pointed the finger at 41-year-old Chris Pagano —  a man twice arrested for solicitation. Both cases were dismissed, but methinks Pagano won’t slide on the current charges.

As mentioned in the previous story, Pagano was accused of approaching women and offering to compensate them for wrapping a slice of Swiss cheese around his dick and getting him off. A couple of the alleged victims apparently captured his requests on video. One of the women boldly asked Pagano why the hell he had Swiss cheese in his vehicle. His answer would have had me on the ground, laughing, for days. Or until I pissed myself…

Anyways, Pagano was charged with stalking, harassment and open lewdness Thursday. Police say he is also suspected of exposing himself to other women while offering them money to watch him put Swiss cheese on his schlong in several neighborhoods in Philadelphia and the surrounding area.

Good luck living this one down, Mr. Pagano.

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