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shroomsYpsilanti, MI – I’ve had a some bad trips over the years of ingesting various chemicals, including an out of body experience that triggered an anxiety attack, but nothing compared to the 41-year-old man who ripped off part of his penis after eating some hallucinogenic mushrooms.

Washtenaw County Sheriff’s deputies responding to an alarm at Ypsilanti Middle School found the man outside of the school naked and screaming. He was kneeling and bloody from the waist down, with parts of his genitals ripped off. Sgt. Geoff Fox said parts of the man’s body were transferred to the hospital with him. o_O

Fox said had they not found the man when they did, he probably would have died. “In terms of vital signs, they were as low as they could go without being dead — I could only assume due to the blood loss and the shock and trauma to the body,” he said.

At first they couldn’t figure out what had happen to the guy because he was just babbling and unable to explain why he was outside of the school and why, more importantly, had he removed part of his dick.

“He really wasn’t saying much at all — a lot of yelling and screaming,” Fox said. “He wasn’t making sense. They couldn’t really communicate with him in terms of constructive conversation.”

After being taken to the hospital, he was eventually able to tell investigators he doesn’t remember anything aside from eating some hallucinogenic mushrooms earlier that day while visiting friends in a neighborhood near the school. Since the man doesn’t have a history of mental problems or extensive drug use, his blood is being tested.

“We’ve sent his blood off for further analysis to see if there was anything else, if the mushrooms could have been laced with something,” Fox said. Good call because either this guy is lying, or there was some serious shit in those mushrooms. I’ve never seen anyone get violent on those things, at least not rip-off-your-own-junk violent.

Police plan on charging the man with burglary because he broke a window to get inside the school, although he didn’t steal anything.

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