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Carpet Munching, You’re Doing It Wrong?

May 2, 2013 at 2:22 am by  

Jeffery WagnerLouisville, KY — Meet Jeffery Wagner, carpet muncher extraordinaire. Well, kinda….

Mr. Wagner was taken into custody on various charges after a peculiar incident at a Burlington Coat Factory in Louisville earlier this week.

According to the police report, officers found the 50-year-old Wagner on his hands and knees in the shoe department, picking at lint in the carpet and eating it. Much to my disappointment, he was apparently fully clothed at the time.

When officers made contact with Wagner, they noted his dilated eyes, slurred speech and unsteady gait. A search of his person revealed a little of this and a little of that – officers found bags of Lortabs, some unknown pills, crystal meth and an unknown white powder.

Wagner reportedly admitted to having smoked a little meth before venturing into the department store. He’s been charged with possession of a controlled substance and public intoxication.

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