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Cheryl BeauchampPALM BAY, FL – Police say a homeless woman was arrested and has been charged with burglary and criminal mischief after she was found in a Palm Bay homeowner’s pool, using it to take a bath.

According to a police report, officers were called to a home on the 1300 block of Knecht Road after the homeowner said he saw a strange woman enter his back yard. The man said he used his surveillance system to see what the woman was doing when she walked behind his house and promptly dropped a deuce on his lawn.

The sea-nymph, later identified as 35-year-old Cheryl Beauchamp, wasn’t finished. Unable to enter the pool area, she used a rock to cut the screen to gain access, stripped naked, and sans Calgon, hopped in for a little rub-a-dub-dub. No word in the report whether or not she wiped, first.

When police confronted Beauchamp, she told them she wanted to take a bath, and broke the screen because the door was locked. She also told them that she was on her way to Washington, D.C., where she was headed so she could yell at President Obama. Perhaps to lobby for the distribution of homeowners’ keys to strange passers-by.

Cheryl Beauchamp was arrested and taken to the Brevard County Sheriff’s Office, where she was charged with counts of burglary and criminal mischief.

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