Irate Woman Craps On Floor Inside Tim Horton's, Flings It At StaffDrunk Mom Gets Kicked Out Of School Play, Assaults Officer, Floods Jail CellCouple Charged After Beating 3-Year-Old Boy Into A ComaMan Arrested After Girlfriend Catches Him Having Sex With 5-Month-Old PuppyTwo Boys, 13 And 14, Accused Of Murdering Woman During RobberyMom Pleads Guilty To Letting Men Rape Her Little Girls For CashPolice Say Man Arrested After Getting Caught Performing Sex Act On 2-Year-OldWoman Mauled To Death By Neighbor's Pack Of DachshundsMan Charged With Incest After Fathering Baby With 20-Year-Old DaughterMan Accused Of Shooting Teen Daughter's Dogs For Not Doing Dishes

Lawrence UrbanCascade Township, MI – Massage therapist, 49-year-old Lawrence Urban, was arrested on charges of fourth-degree criminal sexual conduct after a female customer reported that he touched her inappropriately during a massage.

The victim says she received a massage from Urban (*gag*) on March 15th at the Therapeutic Stress Free Massage Center that will probably leave her compulsively showering for the rest of her life after she claims Urban touched her genital area (*dry retch*) and asked her “if she wanted to orgasm.” Oh God, here it comes… (*baaarf*)

After the victim said, “no,” Urban allegedly told her, “your body is telling me one thing, but you are telling me another.” Urban admitted to police he’d touched the woman’s genital area without her consent while she was laying face-down on the massaging table. He explained that he was given every indication through the woman’s body language, and the way her muscles felt, that she wanted to be pleased sexually.

Urban is currently free on bond while awaiting arraignment.  He is being charged as a second-time felony offender due to a 1981 conviction for delivering marijuana to Texas.  Police are asking for any other victims to please contact them.  Fellas, until vaginas learn to speak for themselves, you really ought to just take the woman’s word for it.

His website now says he “is not currently accepting appointments. All current appointments are cancelled until further notice.”  Too bad, I really think a massage would help Morbid unwind.  [Good thing I still have my weekly prostate exam – Morbid]

Imagine this; you’re on the table in your skivvies (or less) about to get a massage, when THIS creep comes in and says, “Hi, I’m Laaaary.  I’ll be your massage therapist today.”  Holy shit.  What do you do?  Really, tell me, what would you do?  Do you say, “Wow, you look horrifying.  I’m going to leave now?”  I know you’re not supposed to judge people by their looks, but come on.  You can tell that he’s going to molest you.  You can just tell.

Help The Dreamin Demon go ad free! Support us on Patreon!
Tags: , , , , ,


The views expressed in the comments are those of the comment writers and don't represent the views or opinions of D'D or its staff. Feel free to flag comments that may violate conditions outlined in our Disclaimer.