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Christopher ShowsSan Antonio, TX – Police say 33-year-old Christopher Shows stabbed a friend to death with a 30-inch sword after the victim danced with Shows’ girlfriend.

According to the police report, Shows and his girlfriend, along with the victim and one other person, were drinking and listening to music when the victim began to dance with Shows’ girlfriend.

Shows didn’t like what he was seeing, so he hit his friend and went back inside his apartment with his girlfriend and locked the door behind him. Shows said that his friend, who he’d known for years, attempted to barge into his room and kicked the door in.

Shows said he felt threatened, so he grabbed a sword and lunged at the victim, stabbing his friend in the chest. When Shows’ girlfriend was interviewed, she corroborated Shows’ story. The third person present said they didn’t see the actual stabbing, but did say the victim was banging on his Shows’s door, saying “open the door so I can kick your ass and your girlfriend’s ass.”

But police say they found no damage to the door the victim supposedly kicked in, and that the door actually swings outwards. Derp. Deciding this was not a case of self-defense, Christopher Shows was arrested and charged with murder. He is being held on $200,000 bond.

In an unrelated note, I watched an entire season of Showtime’s Spartacus over the weekend, and now I cannot think of anyone getting stabbed with a sword without also imagining the accompanying gallon of blood spraying out of the wound like an opened fire hydrant.

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