Kevin VossHoquiam, WA — Like a scene ripped directly from one of my nightmares, a registered sex offender has been accused of drilling holes in a neighbor’s ceiling so he could watch her from above.

Kevin Voss, of unknown age, and his unidentified roommate apparently gained access to a shared crawlspace and drilled holes in the woman’s fucking ceiling. They then proceeded to jerk off as the woman slept and did what most women do behind closed doors. You know, like eat, read, masturbate, dance nekkid while singing show tunes, etc.

The creepy shenanigans quickly ended, though, after the victim’s cats alerted her to the goings-on in the crawlspace.

“My cats all went in the kitchen, and they were looking up at the ceiling. And when I looked up, I saw somebody walking across the ceiling. And I could hear them walking,” the woman said. “I heard a noise up there. And when I hit the ceiling, one of them fell. And the other got scared, and jumped out a hole and ran down the stairs. And when I opened the door, I saw the back of Kevin going around the corner.”

Voss was arrested a few days later.

The woman has apparently known Voss for several years, but had no idea he was a registered sex offender.

“I don’t like it. It’s creepy. It’s gross,” she said. “And it ain’t over yet … It’s scarred me for life.”

I feel ya, honey. Personally, I wouldn’t feel better until I was allowed to pluck the skeevy bastard’s eyballs out with a dull, plastic spork.

Voss pleaded not guilty to a voyeurism charge on Monday, and is being held on $25,000 bail. The roommate has not been charged. Why not, you ask? Good fucking question.

Ceiling cat was apparently unavailable for comment…

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