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Manatee County, FL — A 50-year-old Florida woman is facing battery charges after police allege she roughed up her 32-year-old boyfriend because the bastard blew his load and failed to finish her off during a mutual oral sex session.

Ahhh, Florida… you never fail to disappoint.

According to the police report, Jennie Scott and her long-term on again-off again boyfriend, Jilberto Deleon, were sixty-nining late Thursday evening, when Deleon “finished first and stopped pleasuring her.” This, of course, led to a stabbing an argument.

At some point during the argument, witnesses say, Scott turned violent, punching and scratching Deleon.

Witnesses claim Scott armed herself with a stick and began beating Deleon. Fortunately for him, he was able to disarm her and hand the stick off to one of the witnesses before he lost an eye or something.

Undeterred, Scott reportedly picked up a nearby wrench and threatened to brain Deleon, but was grabbed from behind and disarmed once again.

Scott later told police that not only was she angry about Deleon’s apparent lack of oral skills, she was also pissed because she had heard him having sex with another woman on the phone earlier that day. (Not sure if we’re talking about phone sex, or if Deleon was actually stupid enough to answer Scott’s call while banging another woman. Either way, something tells me Deleon likes playing with fire).

While being questioned, Scott reportedly told police Deleon had beaten her a week prior to this particular incident – badly enough that she required hospitalization. When the officer pointed out the lack of bruising to her face, Scott got pissy and decided, once again, to go after Deleon.

According to the report, Scott approached Deleon and inquired as to whether he was really going to have her sent to jail. She then allegedly shoved him, in the presence of the officers, and was promptly cuffed and placed under arrest.

Scott was described as “extremely intoxicated” at the scene and police say she put up a bit of a fight during her arrest, struggling, screaming and kicking at the back window. The kicking stopped after police threatened to mace her crazy ass, but the screaming continued.

She’s been booked on a misdemeanor charge of battery. A bond/bail amount has not yet been made available.

Speaking of oral sex, remember Ms. Rottencrotch? The woman who reportedly threatened to knife a fucker if he didn’t go down on her less-than-fresh vajayjay? Or how ’bout Michelle Owens? The woman who apparently couldn’t even get her dog to go down. Well, not without a bit of peanut butter….

Good times. Gooood, good times.

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