Three Accused In Plot To Kill, Castrate Justin Bieber

December 14, 2012 at 11:36 am by  

Albuquerque, NM — Three grown-ass men are being questioned in connection with a plot to kill and castrate teen-pop sensation Justin Bieber, as well as his bodyguard and two others.

The alleged mastermind behind the bizarro plan is convicted killer and apparent Bieber fan, 45-year-old Dana Martin – a man serving two life sentences for the rape and murder of a 15-year-old Vermont girl back in 2000.

According to police, the aged “Belieber” began to formulate his evil plan after Bieber “slighted” him by refusing to respond to any of his messages. Oh, and did I mention Martin has Bieber’s face tatted on his leg? Yeah…

Martin apparently hooked up with another prisoner, 41-year-old Mark Staake, and fed him some bullshit about how he had access to a metric shit ton of money, acreage in Vermont and some connections to some Chinese gang in New York. Not sure what Chinese gangs have to do with anything, but whatever. If Staake wanted a piece of Martin’s fame and fortune, he just had to do one simple thing………


Oh, and those other people, too.

Who wouldn’t, right? I mean, it’s Justin Bieber.

Staake, released from prison in October, recruited his nephew, 23-year-old Tanner Ruane, and the two began tracking the Bieber’s movements. According to police, Bieber and his bodyguard were to be killed after a concert in New York at the end of November.

Before they offed the Bieber, though, Martin wanted a couple of former acquaintances in Vermont “taken care of.”

According to police, Martin demanded that said acquaintances be strangled with a paisley tie – the tie apparently a calling-card of sorts – and Ruane was to castrate the victims.

Staake and Ruane set off for Vermont. Shit started going downhill, though, after the dastardly duo missed an exit and ended up in Canada.

Staake flipped a bitch and got in line to re-enter the States. It was then, police say, that border guards discovered an outstanding probation violation warrant from New Mexico and placed him under arrest.

Ruane spoke with Martin on the phone later that same day, and when informed of Staake’s arrest, Martin called the whole thing off. Friggin’ quitter.

Ruane, perhaps ignorant to the fact that all calls to the prison are recorded, apparently expressed his disappointment in Martin’s decision to back off. After all, he explained to Martin, he and Uncle Mark had found one of the first two victims’ homes and had even procured the hedge clippers necessary for the castrations.

Martin went to police the next morning, revealing the scheme. Ruane was arrested a short time later. In his vehicle, police found a pair of pruning shears, information on the last-known locations of the first two intended victims and a hand-drawn photo of the Beiber.

Staake and Ruane were arrested on charges of two counts each of conspiracy to commit murder and two counts each of conspiracy to commit aggravated battery. One source says police are waiting for the pair to be extradited back to New Mexico, where they will be interviewed. Another source says Ruane has been released from police custody.

Not sure what kind of charges Martin is facing at this point, or if it even matters. Two life sentences… that Bieber fan ain’t going anywhere for a minute.

Next time, Bieber. Next time…

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