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Woman Pleads Guilty To Lying To Avoid Jury Duty

November 16, 2012 at 10:40 am by  

DENVER, CO — Earlier this year we reported on Susan Cole, the 57-year-old moron who called a radio show to brag about how she got out of jury duty. Hilariously, the judge who excused her was listening to the show. On Tuesday, Cole pleaded guilty to trying to influence a public servant and second-degree perjury.

In October of last year, Judge Mansfield was listening to KOA radio’s Dave Logan Show when a caller by the name of “Char from Denver” called in bragging about how she got out of jury duty a few months earlier. The caller explained how she deliberately dressed in a disheveled and uncoordinated fashion with the intent of appearing mentally unstable.

“I decided not to put my makeup on and I put black eyebrows on. I put bright red lipstick on. I left my hair in my curlers and I put on a t-shirt that said Ask Me About My Best-Seller,” said the caller. “When they asked me about mental issues I got up and said, ‘Yeah, I have some mental issues.’ Then the judge said, ‘Does anyone care if she leaves?’ And everybody else said all at once in a great big voice, ‘No.’ ”

The woman caller said she was drawing stares from fellow jurors, and the judge ended up excusing her. She went on to say that she was a hairdresser and that she and her clients got a good laugh out of how she fooled the judge. But that’s the thing about making such an impression; people remember you.  Judge Mansfield clearly remembered Cole and he was not amused.

He filed a complaint and an arrest warrant was issued for Cole on charges of felony perjury and attempting to influence a public servant.

Reporters caught up to Cole and asked for her side of the story, and she told them that she isn’t an educated woman and didn’t understand exactly what she did. When asked to elaborate, Cole said, “I don’t want to speak no more. You guys are interrogating me.”

On Tuesday, Cole pleaded guilty to the charges and avoided jail time. Instead, she was given a two-year deferred judgment on the felony count, and two years of probation on the misdemeanor count. She also must perform 40 hours of community service.

It also turns out that Cole is the self-published author of Seven Initiations with El-Way’s Secrets: Seven Initiations, a book that helps readers “deal with difficult relationships and situations” through biblical passages.

(*grunts as he climbs on top of his high horse*)

Personally, as someone who loves jury duty, I feel if someone doesn’t want to act as a juror, let ’em stay home. I know that if I ever found myself facing a juror’s box, I want it full of people like me and not people like Cole. I want intelligent people who recognize the importance of sitting on a jury and are trying their best to fill a very, very important role in our justice system.

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